Monday, 31 March 2008

They say, be brave, there's a right way and a wrong way. This pain won't last forever. (This pain won't last forever)

Ah I had a really nice weekend. Friday I went out with Evie and Caroline to the Oxford Arms and Wagadada's. I drank Saki and I didn't like it much. I think I embarrassed Evie too. When the waiter came over to ask how our dinner was, I'd cleaned my plate so I was thinking, isn't it obvious? So told him it was "Vile." Evie's cheeks went all pink. She sweet. She bought me some "Gumbo mix" from New Orleans and some "Dirty Rice" whatever that is.... The Dirty Rice does actually look dirty. I shan't be eating it unless I'm drunk.
Saturday I went to see my Nannie who is in the home. She's very ill and we have been told to be "Be Prepared". She wasn't looking too well, and her hair was greasy so I did dry shampooing of it and put moisturiser on her face. There's no reason for her not to look nice. The man who always tries to attack me in the home was there looking all menacing, but he didn't try anything I think they must've changed his medication.

We then went to Bluewater which my mum and dad just sprang on me. (I was in a filthy mood and I would have proper kicked off had I known before setting off, so this was wise of them) But when we got there, it was like Dreamland or Bem Bom Brothers of Margate and I loved it! All of those "hoodies" exposed. I bought three sharp knives from Lakeland and a rolling pin and mixing bowls and I was all domestic goddess like. Then we went to Ed's diner (definitely starting on Weight Watchers again at Camden BTW) and I had a massive burger, my dad had a BIG BUBBA.
That night I stayed in and did baking of an apple pie which was for Sunday Roast the following day. Is there no end to my talents? I accidently ate a quarter of it but still....
Sunday was ACE. I completely forgot about the clocks going forward but not to worry things were still great. I did roast leg of lamb for my pals. Here are some pictures of our smug faces.


COOKING
WOW THATS SOME ROAST

INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION

APPLEY PIE MADE BY ME

THIS WAS TOUGH...

EMPTY PLATES SO....


All in all it were ACE!

Friday, 28 March 2008

You know i`ll change, if change is what you require. Your every wish... your every dream, hope, desire.

I've been thinking about those smug updates that people send out at christmas time to friends and family. Some people like to mock them up into Newspaper Articles. For example "Extra Extra, read all about it! Smith Family wish one and all a Happy Christmas" And then the "article" will be set out in newspaper format. So EG: "In January, Doug got another promotion, so now we're millionaires and you're not." Etc etc.

We have family that actually do this and so called family friends. Its so SMUG. And cringey. And there are normally pictures of their blooming children as well.

I'm gonna send one out next year. "Extra Extra, read all about it. Leanne Diggins doesn't actually GIVE a fuck." Then the "article" will say "In January Leanne got chucked. Life's ACE! Here is a picture of Leanne all drunk and threatening."




Great days.

When I see pictures of me smoking I feel well weird. I'm so glad I've given up. But honestly there hasn't been enough "hack-age" I am sure the tar's just hanging out on my lungs. Does anyone know of good hacking techniques? Comment please.

So I met heather last night as planned in the local and we had a marvellous time as ever. Our friend Sarah Lavis is having a FESTIVAL this year as part of her birthday plans. We're all going to camp out in a field and there will be a marquee and tents and all sorts! FINALLY I can get some photos of me and my friends horsing around and looking all cool next to tents like so many others on Facebook.

So tonight tiz drinks in Camden and Sunday I have lady friends coming over for some roast lamb action. Needless to say my diet isn't going too well at present. Looks like I'm going to have to leave my Weight Watchers class and start at a new one so as to avoid the dsisappointed face of my WW's leader. I think I'll join the Camden one - then I can go with my mate Sarah. Its in Plender Street where prostitutes were found in the bin a few years back.

And finally, my face still feels all tight. I think I should stop wearing make-up for a while - but now I'm in the habit of caring how I look, it will be tough to go back to sporting the MOON FACE look. Hmmmm...

Have a lovely weekend.

Thursday, 27 March 2008

All veils and misty streets of blue....

OH EM GEE!

Two words. The Apprentice.............. Two more words. Alex Wotherspoon. Damn, he's fine. And only 24. I love them when they're young. More grateful. Makes a change from the usual UGS they have on the show - like RUTH BADGER. Although when I texted that to my mate Steve, he wrote back "Badger not without her charm." Jesus Christ.

So Good news everyone, I'm going to be back ON AIR! SW1 Radio, as of April. And, they have an FM licence now so it won't just be available online. Exciting stuff. I love doing radio and I love my listener. Only joking, I had 9 once. I'll keep you updated as and when this show will be. EXCITING! I love doing SW1 radio, playing music and talking are my favourite two things in the world. WOOH. Hey I really hate it when people put Wooh, like this "WOOP." Its stupid.

Oh and I got my mocha sony erriccson phone upgrade. Its like the size of nano so I'm bound to lose it.

There's an article in the Sun today about a pregnant man. Blee. But really its not a pregnant man. Its a man who was once a woman and who has a womb thing. Anyway, I don't believe its true. I can puff my stomach out to a 7 month stance and all thats in me is beer and chips. So, who wants to go out with me? Come on, form an orderly queue.

BYE.

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Don't let them put you down. I won't let them put you down. You're as good as the rest and you're much better dressed....

I've had another fake tan disaster. Although to the naked eye I simply appear more orange than usual, my face has actually been carefully painted over again to hide the leopard print effect which has occured owing to my skin being so dry and old lady like. You'd think it would be better now I've given up smoking! I blame my bedroom being all dry. Bedroom, its your fault. I'm going to get one of those humidifiers. When I wake up, I feel like my face might crack if I were to smile. But then why would I be smiling when I have to get up to go to work? Just as well I've nothing to smile about then eh.... :-)

Back in December I got asked to be in this documentary on Channel 4 about people who are going to try and lose weight in the old fashioned way. In the end I turned down this "fabulous" offer and I'm bloody glad now. Watched it last night. CRINGE. I also learnt the other day that the fabulous documentary I was in called "How to get lucky with Leanne" broadcast on BBC3 in 2005 is being shown on HOMECHOICE and I'm on the promo for it! What the? At least its relevant now being that I'm single. But still.... Embarrassment. See these documentaries, they haunt you.

I'm REALLY enjoying my job at the moment, having loads to get my teeth stuck into and really nice people all around. Its ace. Also its good telly on tonight. You got "Relocation Relocation" on at 8pm, followed by my favourite "The Apprentice" and then the new series of "Desperate Housewives" at 10pm. Although I'm not overly keen on the latter it does give me something to go to sleep to. No my absolute fave is "The Apprentice". I love Mr Sugar. I remember reading a story about him once where he signed the birthday card to his long term wife, as "Happy Birthday, Love Sir Alan Sugar". Haahaa.

BYE.

Monday, 24 March 2008

When he woke she was gone with his car and all of his money.

You know when you say a word to be silly like "DUDE." Cause you're taking the piss? Then suddenly you find yourself using it more out of habit and then almost seriously? Well I've started doing it with the acronym O.M.G. As in Oh My God. So I used to say Oh Em Gee as a laugh but now I say it seriously and I never meant for that to happen.

Like on Saturday night I was in O'Neils with my pal Lauren cause it was my mate's birthday and we were up the bar getting some drinks. All of a sudden I exclaimed to Lauren "OH EM GEE! There's someone tummying me in my back!" There was this big fat rugby player just sticking his tummy on me, proper tummying. I was like "Stop tummying me you NOB! Lauren he's proper tummying me!" etc etc. He didn't stop though despite my roaring "you NOB" in his face. What a perv. Felt quite nice though.

Later, on the bus home I saw some youngsters looking up to no good and one of the girls had a pram and she was jostling the pram about in an uncool fashion. So I was like "Oh Em Gee, I'm going to have to say something Lauren." She was like "No you don't..." And I was like "I do. That baby could be getting hurt in there" So I went over to the gang and said to the girl "Can I look at your baby please?" And she goes "Yeah. It ain't even real, social services gave me a doll to look after to prove I can be trusted." ERM! OH EM GEE. I said "How old are you?" "Fourteen" She replied. I was like "I'm DOUBLE your age! What are you doing out this late?" And this seemed to ruffle the gang's feathers but when I looked at them they looked at the floor. I must have seemed like a loony. Haa Haa thats the key to scare off a gang, act like you are bonkers. I was really outraged that she was only 14 and out at 1am on a saturday night and with a faux baby. This world is weird.

Yesterday Kerry came over for a roast (not that kind) and it was lush. I am the best roast potato maker in the world. I love cooking. I also just got the new Delia cheat book and its ace. Saying that, I've gone a bit off Delia cause her latest programme keeps focussing on her football love. I think its Norwich. And she seems WELL annoying when she's trying to have banter with the players - they seem like they might secretly hate her. I just thought of another annoying word/phrase. Its "I DIGRESS" Lauren Laverne absolutely raped this phrase on her old breakfast show on XFM. Anyway thats what I am doing, so back to cooking. I love it.

I'm a right little homemaker (Lads...so....) anyway. The roast was yummy and then we went to my local pub. I love that pub I really do. Its a proper pub. They had some live music last night which consisted of two guitar players, a vocalist and a mouth organ player. It was ace. We requested "I am sailing" and the man sounded identical to Rod Stewart. I said he should go on Stars in Their Eyes. I did loud clapping. I realise that this can sound sarcastic but I fully meant each clap.

I've got so much to do today. Like go to Wicks. I hate Wicks, it stinks of men. Not that men smell yucky. Just Wicks is so laddish. And I'm always the only girl in there. Bah.

Bye.

Friday, 21 March 2008

You'll speak when you're spoken to.

Agggh insomnia hit last night and I ended up watching this awful film called Champion. I didn't really get what the deal was, I mean this man was a boxer and then it was almost as if they weren't sure how to get to the end of the story (not that there was one) so he suddenly just died of brain damage after a fight. It was abrupt.

I do like a bit of boxing. I like boxing and I like darts. I'm pretty good at darts if I say so myself. I love watching the finals on TV at Lakeside. What a bunch of pikeys ,with sovereigns so big I'm surprised they can lift their arms joyously to flap their bingo wings. NB: Pikey=chav where I come from, NOT gipsy. Us Orpingtoners know the score.

Talking of bingo wings, I was disturbed to watch Eastenders last night only to discover that MINTY AND HEATHER seem to be taking the comp too far and have been looking like their gonna get it on. Gutted Minty. Haaa. His face when he would've got that script. Haa haa. Gary's mum is much better. Wow I sound like an avid Eastenders fan, not at all. Its just so easy to follow! Like Hollyoaks. But I actually like Hollyoaks. Specially Max.

Right looks like Thames Clipper fun is cancelled. James didn't realise they don't run on bank holidays (wank holidays more like). We're still meeting though but its not the same as bobbing along on the ocean wave.....

Just had a phone call from a pal about another wanker comedy promotor. Not sure if you promotors realise this, but you do need some social skills. Ok thats it for now.

Bye.

Thursday, 20 March 2008

So maybe you loved me and now maybe you don't, and maybe you'll call me, and maybe you won't.

Praise the lord, cats and BT man Paul, for I now have internet at home. Life is good.

I just got the voiceover I did back from MTV all spruced up with music and animations and they've made my voice even deeper (if thats possible). I sound transgender (no offence). And I don't like it.

So today I've been doing chores. I Cilit-Banged my bathroom and it was tough. Thanks alot BARRY (Scott).

I got an email from an old pal of mine and they had used a word I hate. TAD. Here is a list of my most hated words. Please don't ever email me using them.

Titties
Panties
Tad
Touchy/feely
LOL!
Not!
CHILL!

If there are any words you hate please feel free to comment.

So I've finally got over my nobbish behaviour of the Wake on tuesday. Wake's are always dark drink-wise. Like I went to one when I was 21 cause my pal James Maynard had died. And I was so drunk my last memory was rolling around in the pub function room's garden with two greyhounds, feeling their noses to see if they were wet. When I discovered they were dry as a bone I launched myself on the unsuspecting revellers/mourners (cause lets face it, its mixed emotions at these things) in the function room demanding to know who the two dogs belonged to cause their noses were dry which meant they were ill. Leanne Diggins, crazy old psycho or animal do-gooder?

I'm currently listening to the show I presented on SW1 and I actually dedicate a song to dead Steve Irwin of Australia Zoo fame. I am so cool.

Tonight I was supposed to have a date but I've cancelled, I plan to do some more cillit banging instead. Tomorrow tiz Thames Clipper fun, Saturday partay, sunday drinks with a friend and Monday rolling around. OR maybe I'll go for a walk. Who knows.

Easter is well boring now ain't it. The only year I ever remember doing something was when I was a lovable rogue of around 14 and we went on an easter egg hunt. At this time I had a penchant for stealing mars bars from my local chemist. One day I stole a pair of sunglasses and felt really criminal-ly. I lost those glasses on the easter egg hunt. I knew that that was instant karma and never stole again. Except a protractor but I needed that for school so it don't count.

Much love to all of you. Even you.

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

I've been talking drunken gibberish......

I am so hungover. I did drinking for 9 hours yesterday at the Wake. This equated to around TEN pints and 3 Woo Woo cocktails. I only ate a little bit of buffet to appear lady like so as you can imagine things were pretty messy.

We ended up in the Langley Bar in Covent Garden and I was battered. I made a huge cock of myself again - I'm sensing a pattern here. I'm hoping I'll be given the chance to redeem myself after last night's performance but I suspect that the jig is up and the company I kept yesterday is running for the hills as I type this.

The funeral was a lovely one, but also very very sad. Collin leaves behind three small children and it was heartbreaking to see the oldest boy (Think he's about 5) skipping into the church fully not comprehending the enormity of the situation. I played with the kids for a bit at the wake but then I realised I was pretty pissed and I might drop one of 'em or something so skulked off.

I'm taking tomorrow off in order to have a nice 5 day break. Friday I'm going on the Thames Clipper with my pal James which I am very much looking forward to. Saturday I have a party and sunday I will see Ma and Pa.

I can barely see the screen today so please forgive any errors I've made on this blog and also for the fact that its quite boring.

Please enjoy your Easters.

Monday, 17 March 2008

I'll tell you how its gonna be, don't you never ever come near me.

SIGH! Another weekend of being a naughty cat. I got SO drunk on Friday night and was a big cock. Still, for the most part it was great fun. I distinctly remember when the subject of sambucas came up saying, "NO WAY" but all of a sudden there was one slipping down my throat. And then I think another two. Combined with Lager. HOWEVER, I didn't succumb to Pork Scratchings, so every cloud eh?

I did that thing where you go up to someone and say "I used to hate you but now your alright." And then went swaggering off as if I'd just said something nice. Then I went up and told someone I fancied them and was quite full on. Luckily at the time he was quite drunk and seemed to like me back. But JEEZ. Have you no shame Miss Leanne? Lads like it when you are all shy and vulnerable not oafishly shouting for their attention.

Suddenly I was in Coco in Camden and was thinking "What the hell am I doing here?" This is a club. So I said to who I was with, "Simon, what the hell are we doing here?" to which he replied "My name's not Simon its ---------" and I was like "Yeah whatever. I wanna go home." Sooo slick.

The next day I had work and one of my special hangovers. (in case you don't realise, these are diavomalemma ones) so it was extra hard work. But an early night soon sorted that out.

Sunday was more of the same, chores, work and then bed. I watched White Noise and that was a bad move cause for the first time since moving I worried about ghosts. Even though its a new build I thought "what happens if it was built on an ancient burial ground?" and other such silly things. Didn't get to sleep till like 1:30am and thats way past my bedtime.

Its the funeral tomorrow for Colin so I shan't be posting. However I shall be back to normal-ness on Wednesday.

Sunday, 16 March 2008

I ran away from you, I never thought I could.

HEY! Checkout this short clip from our 4 star edinburgh show, A Night In Sandy Hole. In this clip, Precious has some time alone with the audience. There are also other clips of our show attached so check em out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG_GGa_N5vg

Friday, 14 March 2008

Arrest this girl, her Hitler hair-do is making me feel ill.

So the topic on today's XFM show hosted by Alex Zane was Sex, and people who just aren't that into it. Now Alex occassionally gets on my nerves as a presenter, but on the whole I think he's very agreeable. I confess I do know him because he used to work at MTV and he kindly got me a few gigs when I first started doing stand-up......... So I don't have that weird hate thing for him that many stand-up's seem to have. (NB: Hatred = Jealousy - Ha! Life's tough ain't it. Gutted.)

Anyway the subject was sexual-ness. And he was saying that he just isn't that interested. And I was like, yeah me too! And then he described it as being good at first and then he just goes off it. And I'm like "YEAH! ME TOO!" And then he spoke to the fish man that he always speaks to from Billingsgate Market and the fish man said that this is because he hasn't found the ONE! And I'm like "YEAH! ME TOO!" So this is totally it then. I thought there was something wrong with me. What a relief. Next plan on the agenda is to find "the one." I have my eye on a couple of people I already know and I think there's a connection... OOH. What depicts a connection? I'm not sure, but my tummy goes funny when I see them. Maybe they make me sick. Who knows.

I'm considering stopping reading the news. Its so depressing. There seems to be a breed of animal type people (even though I love animals but ya know what I mean) who run around like complete savages beating and killing people for no reason. Like those two goths that got beat up for nothing in Lancashire and the girl died. MENTAL. What the fuck? How can a whole group of people all agree that doing that to someone is normal? Makes me feel sick.

The only piece of news that made me titter and even that was a bit horrid was these four guys in Eton who mugged a girl for her handbag. They call themselves "The Posse'". HAA HAA. Pussys more like. ... Imagine their fighting talk:
Posse' member: "One must hand that bag over immediately madame, or one will be forced to snatch it from your possession with brute force."
"VICTIM": "Crikey."
What do they need money for anyway?

This diet is rubbish - I'm hungry all the time. SUX DOGS DIX.

The voice over went ok in the end. Although along with the english paragraph I had to say, I made the three flemmish words sound a bit German. Oh well.

This weekend I will mainly be working and trying not to trough. I'm going out tonight and I will beg myself not to succumb to Pork scratchings and/or a Whoppa but it won't be easy. Saturday and Sunday I'll be ok as I'm working, but monday its St. Patrick's day and I'm meeting one of my friends for dinner and drinks in Greenwich. Why have I no more will power? Well I suppose I do have willpower cause I'm still not smoking and I fully believe this is it for me. I am on day 22 and I feel really great. However, I haven't hacked up much of the black stuff so I'm thinking maybe its just hanging out in my lungs....

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, 13 March 2008

Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me.

I've got to re-do the MTV voice-over adding the line "Ruby thursday, for people who pimp their plan." What does that mean? How can you pimp a plan. "Yeah you plan..... You er....you better go shag that er...verb. For money. "

I'm feeling quite jolly at the moment. I really do feel that things are starting to look up - I think its the smell of sweet sweet spring. Ah its times like this that I wish I had a little bunny.

So what have I got planned for the rest of the week? Well, luckily for me its pay day tomorrow, I am so skint and this weeks' dragged. I will also obtain some overtime in this month's pay packet so this all helps.

Being that its pay day we're all going out to Quinn's which is probably one ofthe best pubs in Camden Town now that PAT decided to leave the Oxford Arms. WHY PAT WHY!!? I loved the days when I went into the Oxford and Pat used to just get my Stella ready when he saw me crossing the road. Now I have to ASK for my drink. Unbelievable.

Quinns is run by Mr and Mrs Quinn I think and they're about 93 and very very nice. Also there is music and Pork Scratchings. Uh oh. I 'm on a diet and Scratchings are there. I can't help it, they're so trotter-y. Might also be another Whoppa experience. I say this though "If ya gonna fuck your diet up proper, why not do it with a Whoppa." Very true big fat devil on my shoulder.

Saturday and Sunday I have to do working. BOO. But think of the money. OK. Mmmmm Its all nice.

I have a date next week and this is someone I met at a disco on Saturday so I don't feel I can say about the 2 drink rule. The 2 drink rule is you have 2 drinks MAX on the date whether you like each other or not and this avoids awkwardness or shagging. Or both. Also it means if you don't like the person you have a get out of date jail free card. Would it be wrong/uptight to enforce this rule? Think on.

A girl at the station today had a conversation on her mob and she did a loud kiss noise into the phone at the end of the call and didn't go red. Weirdo. Maybe she did it on purpose.

Ok bye.

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

You could be my unintended choice to live my life extended...

I've got a hangover.

Yesterday we had a toast to Colin at work and then I decided to go to the Chandos Pub to join the farewell and good luck drinks for Pappy's Fun Club (they're off to Melbourne). They don't do Stella in the Chandos. Instead I had what looked to be a YARD of ale which was ok cause by then my taste buds had had it anyway. Saw Caroline and Roisin. Roisin was off on holiday in like four hours - hope she made the plane.

I think I must've been quite drunk cause I remember telling Matthew that I'm Grade 5 on the clarinet which is true but why would he want to know that? Also, we discussed erratic sleep patterns. I need stuff distracting me when I go to bed, like the TV, radio (LBC) and/or a book. I'm getting sick of waking up to the "HOOBS" though. They're mental puppety things that are way too loud.

I fucked up my diet yesterday as well. Incidently I lost 1.5 pounds at Weight Watchers on Monday. This meant I had to take three marbles out of the marble pot at the weigh-in desk and embarrassingly drop them into another glass jar in the middle of the meeting room floor. I ate a Whoppa last night and chips and a sprite. GOD. What a piggy. When I got my Tesco delievery this morning it was mainly veg and fruit & I felt a fraud knowing what i'd trough'd the night before.

Pappy's also gave me some food for thought last night. They really like Catface Cabaret and they were disappointed to learn that I had no other shows booked at present. I would have had one easter sunday if the Hen and Chickens had been kind enough to respond to my last emails. So now I'm looking for another venue. Brendon reckons I should do a couple of "one off's" in Edinburgh.... they just love that dance eh! What says you Blog readers? I think I should too. So, I need a new theatre for a start. Any ideas? Answers on email or on this blog.

I have to go and do two voiceovers in a minute fro MTV Belgium. The text is all in English except for three Belgian words. I keep accidently putting a HACKY sound on the word "Huis". Ya know like ya trying to get some gob up. But apparently I don't need the hack. My voice keeps going all June Sarpong like too. How irritating.


And finally,please take 2 seconds to follow the below link and sign my friend's petition. And if you've still got any energy, please forward this link to all the people you know who would also like to keep music and street performance alive. Thank you very much in advance. http://www.PetitionOnline.com/cov2008/petition.html [/url]

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

She's like the girl with the smile in the hospital ward...

So, this is gonna be a brief one.


My friend died on Sunday. He was called Colin. He was 37. He leaves behind three children and a wife (Kelly). We don't know what caused it, but a catalogue of awful events all contributed. Flu type thing, seizure, cardiac arrest, no oxygen for 15 mins, life support machine, brain dead. I went to see him Friday night to talk to him, to try to make him laugh, tried to see if he would react to anything at all, but he didn't. Not even Marrillion could wake him up. They switched off the machine Sunday night. His wife said he wasn't scared of dying so that is a comfort to me in a strange way.



Rest in Peace.


Here is a list of my favourite songs at the moment:


Rose' - The Feeling

To Build a Home - Cinematic Orchestra

A Bad Dream - Keane

Cover my Eyes - Marrilion

Monday, 10 March 2008

Go on, take everything, take everything I want you to.

So! Bit of a weird week. I went to visit my sister last tuesday for a few days and it was nice and relaxing and I did walking and trying not exceed my points on Weight Watchers. Its really good to become obsessed with something like eating cause it takes my mind off smoking. Day 17 people. Day 17. Thats right, I am infact, amazing. I mustn't become too obsessed cause otherwise I might develop Anorexia Nervosa and thats the last thing I want! I am supposed to have 20 points a day which is like really little amounts. On the first day I accidently ate 41 points. Thanks alot WINE. And Duck Wrap and Garlic bread. After this hiccup I was back on the straight and narrow. My nephew is nice, he's really heavy but very sweet. I sung him "Alice the Camel" putting Alex in where the Alice is and it went down a storm.

Saturday night I went out in Clapham and ended up in the dive the Clapham Grand. I was very drunk, and met a nice lad called Pete. Pete is an honourable name. He was telling me that he'd lost 7 stone, on a positive note this means that he won't have anything against chubbers so until I make target weight I'm quite safe.

Here is a video of me and my contented tummy. I am aware that it is bulbous.



video

Monday, 3 March 2008

Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary, the ringing of the division bell had begun.

Ah a weekend of fun, laughter and tears.

Saturday is chore day in Cat County (thats my flat) so this is exactly what I did. I then called Demon (cause I felt strong) to say that the internet still didn't work despite my downloading said drivers. The lady was quite nice, her name was Sahana, but when she said she was going to get BT to check the line I started to cry. This is such a traumatic ordeal. 5 months this has been going on for! I had to leave the pooter on for 48 hours with the modem plugged in to find out the problem with the 'exchange' (whatever that is). God I wish I knew someone technical.

Saturday arvo I headed to Orpington and met my mate Steve in the White Hart - Leon showed up too. I was supposed to be heading to my mum and dad's for the family party next door were having. I drank 2 pints in the White Hart so was quite jolly by the time I got to the party. It was quite good fun - but I think my mum and dad were embarrassed of me. Oh well.

Sunday I did pretty much what I planned. Rolling around in bed and remembering that I am indeed 30 nearly and a BIG SPINSTER. Father and I then went to Comet and we got me a new TV! Its flat screen with built in freeview. Its soooo cooool. After this we went to visit my Nannie in the home. There's a really violent man there who's probably only about 60 so is quite tough. For some reason my face seems to aggravate mentally-violent people - and this case was no different. I heard a cufuffle and turned around and the man saw me and came storming towards me with a bitterly angry expression about his face. Luckily two nurses pounced on him and rugby tackled him away whilst I tried to keep my cool. I was thinking could I really punch an old man in the face? Well its me or you mate, and I choose me.

Reminded me of when we had a "Unit" at a primary school I attended for a few years (in Brackley). One of the children (Steven) had Down Syndrome and he used to beat us all up. He also spat on us randomly. I used to shit myself whenever I saw him. Another girl in the unit called Karen was also extremely violent. Anyway, one day Karen ran at me and my mate Rachel. We ran off to the toilets, and I went in one that locked and Rachel went into one with no lock, where you had to put the sanitary bin in the way. Karen kicked the door open and beat Rachel with her own Rainbow-Bright doll. It was awful.

Anyway - enough regression to more violent days. This week I shall be going away for a bit. But I will try to keep up to date with the blog.

Love to you all.