Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Wild horses couldn't drag me away...

Ah another beautiful day in Zamunda. (I would imagine). Here in the UK, not so good but at least it's not pissing it down like it has been the last few days! I always find a successful way to open a blog is by describing the weather.

Anyway, on with the info. Allot has been happening over the past few weeks. I fell off the diet wagon with a bump and landed in a big old portion of chips. It was brill. But now it's shortly my hols and I am YET AGAIN destined to be fatting about on the beach and by the pool. Oh well, it's personality that counts.

In other news I was the victim of CRIME in Oxford Street last week. I know, shocking dear reader, but wait until you read what happened. Set your face to stunned.
SO! I was walking along, minding my own business when suddenly I felt a hand on my RIGHT bosom. And the hand belonged to a WOMAN. And I was like, WHAT THE FUCK. I actually exclaimed that and she just went "sorry". Like it was no big deal.

So I was like "SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK!" and she looked at me all a bit bonkers like. Then whilst I was shouting quite loudly, cause I was so shocked, an equally scabby-ish looking man appeared to my left, a bit too close for comfort. SO I was like "What the fuck are YOU looking at?" Thanks to my naturally street-wise persona I knew he must be an accomplice of sorts. As I kept saying loudly to the woman, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!? She just kept looking at me all madly.

It was WELL WEIRD. I think they were trying to distract me by groping my bosom. I expect they wanted me to react like this: "Oooh that was nice, I'll just open my bag so you can swipe my purse!" I don't think so somehow.

In all seriousness it did shake me up a bit, but I ruffled my feathers (for I am a BIRD) and strode off to Wasabi where I got DOUBLE sushi as a reward to myself for being a brave soldier.

The other information I have, is that I have just bought a deep fat fryer from Amazon and I'm so excited. It's all James Martin from Saturday Kitchen's fault. He keeps making battered fish and SCRAPS. Tonight we're having steak and chips. DONE IN THE FRYER no less. So excited! Am I boring now? Yes.

I went round to my mate's house for her birthday the other day, it was just a "pop in" affair. So myself and Warren "popped in" only to discover we were in a creche situation. There were babies EVERYWHERE. No offence ladies but it's not my thing. I do like kids (my niece and nephew) but not when there are about 7 or 8 of them in one small room. It's too over whelming, I couldn't concentrate on my large glass of Sauvignon Blanc. I've decided that when I have a sprog I'm going to bear that in mind for my non-babied up friends. :-)

Anyway - might try to write again this week.

HOpe you're well!