Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Your shake is like a fish, you pat me on the head.... You took me out to wine, dine, 69 me, but didn't hear a damn word I said.

Economy driving is my game at the moment. Whenever I'm watching that Money Saving Expert on GMTV I always think gosh, that looks like a drag. But now I'm thinking, hmmmm I really should invest some time in this situation and already I've saved myself £80! Thanks Money Saving Expert and my now not so lazy ass! My sister was saying I should go Pay as you go on my mobile, but I can't bear the thought of having to say to someone "Can you call me back because I haven't got any credit". Also I've had the same number now for years and I'm kinda attached to it. Silly eh?

OMG Spotify RULES! I've revisited Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill" today. Great great album. Reminds me of the good old days when I ran for Head Girl at school age 17. My friend Siobhan and I ran a tight campaign (she was my deputy). We erected huge banners around the school in the dead of night and wore sunglasses, black roll neck jumpers and black trousers so as to blend in with the darkness. The day we LOST the campaign coming SECOND, we walked out of school at 11am and headed to her house where we drank port and lemonade and listened to Jagged Little Pill. Then we decided to go out on the lash in Bromley. Happy days. I still think that whole thing was a fix, cos I was well popular with the students but the teachers didn't take me seriously. I have no idea why.
Although, saying that I did end up jacking my A-Levels in about three months later and going to Orpington College to do them instead. IN YOUR FACE, SCHOOL! I passed with flying colours! ALL THREE. Yeah man, POKE IT!

I had a nice weekend. I ended up doing my three centre with GUSTO. Finishing up in Clapham at a pub where I'd filmed a big section of the documentary I was in in 2005 on BBC3. ("How to get Lucky with Leanne") SO, it kind of depressed me to be back there again. I decided to combat this depression by getting in every single photo that my mate was taking for Ollie's 30th Birthday. Yeah. Good one. At one point I made ALL of the lads pick me up. In my head I looked really gorgeous in this photo but in the cold light of Facebook, I looked like Shamu. It had to go.

Saturday I had a hangover AND the fear which was a bit crap. Luckily, the night wasn't as bad as I'd imagined so all was good. I was due to go to my mate Sam's house to meet her fiance' and see the kids. They'd invited their friend over as well to make up the numbers which was nice of them. I knew their mate anyway having worked with him 12 years ago at TV Travel Shop. AS it was such a lovely day we ended up sitting out in the back garden and drinking beer and then had a lovely lunch. I actually quite liked the friend, he's very funny which I happen to find agreeable. I dunno, it was refreshing you know to be in a laid back, comfortable and enjoyable situation. Note to self: I must hang around with these non-pretentious types more often.

Sunday I didn't do the radio show cause I didn't feel well but perked up later on in the arvo. I decided to trek up to Blackheath to see the donkeys. They were as sad as ever but I noticed they had some water which was nice. My friend came to meet me and we went for a drink. Unfortunately the night before she'd been in quite a rough pub in Bromley and had been attacked by this FREAK of a girl. It was a case of mistaken identity it turned out, but tell that to my mate who had half of her hair ripped out. Disgusting scum. We had a nice time despite this unhappy news and I headed back at about 8:30pm. The sun was just setting across the heath and it looked beautiful.

Just had a quick revisit to the theme tune from "Cities of Gold" on youtube with my friend Joel. Bless him he was like "Yeah the bird, the gold bird! The gold bird that flies. It flies. See? Its flying." hahahaha.


Until next time.

Friday, 24 April 2009

Sometimes you can't make it.......best you can do is to fake it.

I really hope this nice weather isn't our quota for the year. Its lush isn't it. Makes everyone in a better mood and that's a fact. I'm noticing a shift in commuter behaviour for the better as well. Today on the Northern Line I was lost in thought, when suddenly the driver braked really sharply and everyone clung onto the bar. I found myself bracing for impact but it all came to nothing and we began to move again. For a brief moment I wondered if the driver had braked because of an animal on the track. What would it be though? A huge turtle that's been roaming underground since being flushed down the lav in the late eighties for not being Donatello perhaps?.... Anyway - So I looked around at my fellow passengers and we all kind of looked at each other in an understanding fashion, like we were all saying "Phew, that was scary eh?" and I thought, ah that's nice. Some normality. Usually when I look to my commuter buddies for reassurance they look at me like I'm mad.......saying with their eyes "what severe braking? I didn't notice anything.... " And then I feel like a knob. Anyway its the Sun that's done this, I'm telling you.

The Apprentice just gets better and better doesn't it. I LOVE Geordie Phillip. He's so angry. I dislike intensely that bitch Ben. What is THAT. He's a mad man. Sir Alan's gonna see him off I'm sure.

Today at work we've got a concert in the main atrium with free beer, wine and snacks! Yeah man I love that shit.

I was thinking about Fraser Island this week because there was a horrible crash there last weekend. I knew something like that would happen, cos it really is a white knuckle ride going up and down those beaches in the 4wheel Drive things. I remember not only being scared of the Dingo's but also the general creepy crawlies, snakes etc. The guide's were so flippant about it all. We'd be walking through a rain forest and they'd be like "Try not to get Bit". Erm, by what exactly? " ya know, snakes, spiders, that kinda thing.." What the EFF?
See this clip for confirmation of my point:


I was paranoid throughout the whole trip and at times there were some pretty hairy situations. Like on one day, our guides were making us some lunch and they were like "Go for a walk around the lake and when you come back lunch will be ready" So myself, Katie, Lauren, Dean, Mike and this other guy went off for the walk. I've never heard so much swearing and shrieking in my life (mainly from me)walking around that lake. It wasn't just walking round a lake, it was walking round a lake, through a forest. With spider webs and lizards and snakes. We walked at record speed, it was actually quite traumatic. I remember going through another forest on the island, which was about a 3 mile trek (without our guide, again)and stretched right across the path, was a MAMMOTH spider web complete with fucked up looking spider. There was no way round it.

Suddenly, in the distance there were a group of tourists coming the other way. Our group were just stood staring at the web in a scared fashion. The tourists, coming the other way also stopped and stared at the huge spider. "Well, what the fuck are we going to do?" Someone in the other party said. "Go under it!" someone else said. "I don't think so, it might be the leaping kind..." I helpfully pointed out. Two women crawled under it from our party, but there was no way we would follow. In the end someone got a really long Branch and broke the spider web so the spider swung off to one side of the path. You've never seen so many backpackers running as fast to get past the evil swinging spider.

We weren't allowed to go anywhere on our own on the island because of Dingo's, the minimum party of people was two at a time. If you saw a Dingo you had to stand back to back with whoever you were with and stare it out. Waving of the arms was not permitted. If you were attacked you had to "fight aggressively". What the Eff? Having a fight with a dog? Come on then er.... Rover. Good old Fraser Island. Happy days.

I've just found out about Spotify, its ace. YEAH! Songs come to my computer for free. I'm currently re-discovering Erasure. Oh L'Amour!

Camden Town is a joke today cos of the Camden Crawl. On our forecourt at MTV they've erected this huge screen thing, and there's loads of security and random EMO's milling around. What does it all mean?

Tonight I'm doing a three-centre. First we have the concert thingy at work, then I'm meeting Karen at London Bridge, then onto Clapham for some 30th birthday action. I can't have a late one though cause I have to be up and at my friend's house for 12pm. Sunday its radio show again listen in if you get the chance. www.sw1radio.co.uk from 10am - 12pm.

Here are some pictures of Fraser Island. Demonstrated are the vast white sands, the fresh water lagoons (containing crocodiles I later found out), me throwing a boomerang and the thick forests containing the deadly animals. I'm the one with the pink rucksack.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Moving, just keep moving......well I don't know why to stay, no ties to bind me, no reason to remain.

What a lovely day! And it only means one thing....I have to get my pastey old legs out soon. Which means I'll have to shave. Only joking, or am I? Maybe. Anyway, happy days are here again with the Vit D.

I had a lovely weekend in the end. I went to see my friends in Orpington to show them the video I shot at their wedding. I had a bit of a palava with this. Basically I didn't get it put onto DVD straight away and a month or so ago, I was viewing the wedding off my camcorder, and where I'd had a couple of wines I accidentally pressed record over the footage. It happened upon a (some might say) crucial moment. The vows. Never mind, I brought the mini dv into work on saturday and luckily good old VT Dubbing managed to stitch the tape together seamlessly.

So all you see is me going to sit down after doing my reading and then the next immediate shot is the marrying lady woman person shouting "The Bride and Groom!" and we all cheer. They didn't notice, because the whole vid is far from professional anyway. I only did it so they'd remember each other anyway. It was pretty cool because where my mates were busy getting married, they missed a load of "behind the scenes" stuff which made them laugh alot.

After the viewing we were sat around chatting and my friends were asking about my plans for the year and I said that when I get back from Oz I want to get a job where I can earn buckets of cash. In the old days money really wasn't so much of a driver for me, but as time goes on, I realise that I really need to provide for myself and make sure I'm comfortable. I was telling them both that I enjoy being independent and feel especially grown up. At this stage, my mum and dad pulled up outside and were like "Come on Leanne you have to come with us now." "But I want to stay." I exclaimed. "No, sorry, you need to come back for your tea." I looked well independent and grown up. "Sorry I have to go home now...." I muttered, scuffing my foot in the carpet.

Sunday afternoon after the radio show, I was sat around thinking, I could do with some DVD action and lo and behold there, in my peripheral vision was the BBC version of Pride & Prejudice starring Colin Firth. Why, I hadn't seen that for near on 8 months. YEAH! So I watched a load of that, 5 hours worth and then it was time for "Nuts in May" which was on BBC4. WOW perfect viewing for a Sunday I'm sure you will agree.

This week has been mostly great with all sorts of amazing things happening like, the sky being pink at night, which doesn't only delight shepherds, but me as well. Also, tickets are flying out the door for Catface Comedy on the 13th May which pleases me greatly.

This blog is BORINGO. SOZ!!

Saturday, 18 April 2009

I'll still be doing it the way I do it.... and yet, you try to make me forget who I really am.

Well a crap start to the week and yet a lovely end to it. How we fall, but how we rise again will never cease to amaze me.

Basically it comes down to the fact that I'm a sensitive soul and am growing increasingly tired of people not realising this. This week there were two or three people who have disappointed me with their actions and I let it get to me more than it needed to. Then (of course) I spoke with my pals and they put me straight. If we were on the bridge in "Stand By Me" I'd totally wait for you.

I've thought further now about my plans for the redundancy period. On the 4th July I go to Ibiza (Cala Llonga) as is tradition for a week. Then I come back, and do a STAR STUDDED Catface Comedy on the 15th July. This night is going to sell out in about two seconds because of the acts I'm booking. They will be announced after the next Catface Comedy which is 13th May. Can't wait. Anyway - I come back, do that Catface and then head off the next day to Spain for the Benacassim Festival! I'm so excited. YEAH MAN! The Killers AND Kings of Leon will be there YAY! I'm taking my mouldy tent and we're going to camp. Its me, Lou, her boyf and his mate. I am SOOOOO excited. Then I come back from there and arse about till the end of July. Head BACK to Spain at the beginning of August to stay at my mum and dad's apartment, then.......... unfortunately I'll have to get a job. TEMPING. The thought of temping turns my stomach. Office work. Oh God.

Also having to go to an UGH..........Agency fills me with dread. See, I work in telly so I don't do all that Powerpoint shit. What shall I say when they ask me what I can do on Microsoft office? "ERM.... Yes, well I'm proficient in 'Paint Spa'. I can spray paint my own name...." Ah well Temping will be for just TWO months cause then its off to AUSTRALIA for three months! From October to the beginning of January. OMG, this year is going to be fucking amazing. I knew I'd come up with a plan eventually. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I can't wait to get back to Oz and see my mates, and Steve (Irwin) in spirit. I hope they've simmered down on the "Bindi" merchandise cause that was out of control.

Today I'm in work doing some dubbing and then I'm off to the 'Ton (Orpington to you and me) to see some friends. I've requested I go to my mum and dad's for my tea because they always have nice food.

Don't forget to listen to my radio show tomorrow morning on SW1 radio. Log on from 10am www.sw1radio.co.uk for some ace chat and ace music!

Here are some snaps of Catface Comedy. Have a lovely weekend.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

The writing's on the wall, it won't go away, it's an omen....you just run on automation.

Um... so.... a weekend of weirdness. I was actually looking forward to the four day break but after a while I got very, very bored. Friday day-time I met my ma and pa in Borough Market for a mosy around. It was packed but there was so much food it was ace. We went for some yummy lunch and had a really good laugh. My mum's arm is improving (fyi she had a really nasty fall in December and has been off work ever since)which is good news. On friday night I was looking forward to the Red Dwarf marathon on Dave. Hmmmm, I didn't really rate it much, the episode seemed a bit slow. Also the way in which it was shot was too new looking. Still, I did like it a bit. After this they put on Quarantine which is one of my all time favourite episodes (Mr Flibble) and also the one with the "Dove Programme" which I canna remember the title of but a cracker all the same.

Saturday I just lazed about all day long. Like, all day long and then saturday arvo I watched Shirley Valentine. What a great film that is in so many ways. Then it was time for Doctor Who. Absolutely disappointed with this episode and also the backing music. It was like Superman or something. Ah well. Early night anyway so just watched Red Dwarf (again) and then bed. (The second episode seemed marginally better than the first)

Sunday morning was the Radio show which was pretty cool. I played my current favourite song by a band called White Lies. "Farewell to the Fairground". You need to listen to it, its very cool. I was feeling a little bit down after the show but then got a lovely email from an old friend of mine who'd listened to the show and had enjoyed it. So nice to have that little boost of confidence when I really could have done with it.

Sunday afternoon I met up with Evie and co for her boyfriend Matt's birthday. A messy night ensued. *sigh*

Monday I felt really crap and my fantastic mates rallied round. Thank you to all of you for your calls, emails & texts and of course the in-person company. My friend Louisa and I went for some lunch in Greenwich and then walked up through Greenwich park to Blackheath. There's a circus in town (you know how I feel about them) and also a fairground. I saw some donkeys and I went to stroke them and they were so sad. Like properly almost crying. I nearly started crying at this, I tried to make eye contact with one in particular whilst stroking his ears and he looked dead behind the eyes. I wanted to punch their owners faces in. But I didn't and instead we headed to O' Neils and had a couple of glasses of wine and some great chat with Lou. She was on top form and making me really really laugh, she's very cool. Then Stef joined us and we had a really really nice evening. We've decided to write a book, I think its going to be a best seller.

Needless to say from the above, you can probably tell that I'm not feeling the best I can at the moment. Apparently though, things are going to change. Jonathan Cainer, friend to the stars said so, see?

Libra, Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Hear that sound in the distance? That's the cavalry, riding to the rescue. They may be only just in time. You may have only one wheel left on your wagon, arrows piercing your armour, and no resources left to draw on... but they'll soon be here at last and they'll bring with them all they need to make everything OK again. Sorry to sound so melodramatic and sorry too, to suggest that you need 'rescuing'. But you need to know that there's time to think before you make your next move. And it's best if you do that! Now is the right time for you to take an in-depth, up close and personal look at your life.

I hope so Cainer, I hope so.

Thursday, 9 April 2009

We'll head south, just hold my hand now. I feel like I'm casting off my clothes and I'm running through the snow towards the sunset....

YEAH!!! Well another cracker of a night at Catface Comedy. I love the Betsey Trotwood the owners/managers/staff are all so cool to work with. All of the acts did exceptionally well last night and a couple I hadn't seen were there so I was very pleased that they were all so well received. Thanks to all of them and of course to the erotic dancers and Lou. You lot rock. I was going to take a month out and do the next show in June but someone called the Betsey to book ten tickets for the May show and I just can't turn that away. So, the next show is on the 13th May and I really think you should ALL come. All of you. Just come. You can book tickets by checking out this group here on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=44117679473&ref=ts Join up and be in the COOOOL gang.

Right so, time to talk about Twitter. Now, I have no problem with people wanting to join (I'm not one of them) BUT, what I do object to is people that marry Twitter up with Facebook so I have to read 50 billion status updates from the same person. Its like, I don't WANT to read that, and if I did I would be "following" you on Twitter. Just like people can CHOOSE to read this blog.... I mean, I don't print this out and go up to randoms, shoving it under their noses shouting READ THIS! READ THIS! Do I.
Although I enjoy updating my status on Facebook with some stuff that's true and some that's false, I understand that a once a day update (MAX twice) is sufficient. I might consider another cull if this Twitter stuff continues.

I'm so tired today and very much looking forward to this four day break. I plan to watch lots of telly, Red Dwarf mainly and Doctor Who. Tomorrow I'm seeing Ma and Pa and we're going to Borough Market. I intend to look all sad and lonely so they buy me stuff. Also this weekend NEEDS to be a detox for me 'cause I've been eating crap all week. In fact, I'm just about to have a KFC. That's bad isn't it. But sooo good. That's it though. As of tomorrow no more crap. I'm even going to go for a run over Greenwich Park, cause I mean such business.

I'm really looking forward to watching The Apprentice on BBCiplayer. What a great invention that machine is.

And finally don't forget to tune into my radio show this Sunday at 10am. www.sw1radio.co.uk is the website to go to and click listen now. I promise I'll be more perky than I feel right now. I expect you'll all be stuffing your faces with Easter Eggs so what goes better with chocolate on a Sunday? Why, a dose of Leanne Diggins to make your day even more agreeable, that's what I always say.

Enjoy the weekend and I'll write at you soon.

Monday, 6 April 2009

Now your grip's too strong, can't catch love with a net or a gun.

OMG how good is The Apprentice. Very good, that's how. I LOVE it. This week I'll have to BBCi player it cause I have Catface Comedy on wednesday. But that's ok! That's more than ok if last month's is anything to go on. I was a bit worried about audience figures but they've come piling in at the last minute so all good.

Right. Now this weekend was pretty cool. Friday night I did a four centre night out. Starting out in the pub in camden and then heading to my mate Leo's leaving drinks in town. THEN onto Emily's 30th birthday drinks. (by now I was battered) And then onto meeting my mate Caroline after her gig for some further drinks. I've come to the conclusion that I can't say no. At one point Friday I thought, ya know, it's probably better I go home. But instead went to McDonalds and got an immediate 2nd wind enabling me to actually make sense when I spoke. Paid for it BIGTIME saturday morning. BAD BAD hangover. My only comfort (and how sad is this) was that people's updates on Facebook were like "Chris - bring water, ill." etc etc So its not JUST me. That's the trouble with hangovers/drinking they make you paranoid android.

Saturday I managed to get up around 12pm and then did chores. Exciting. Then got dressed and ready for some filming action over at Greenwich with my pal Katy. We started off so sprightly and then after a while started to accidentally depress each other. Stuff like "I know this sounds awful but I really want a man with money and I want him to BE a man ya know?." Etc. "look at all those happy people. Selfish bastards" etc. And then we went to the pub but couldn't even afford alcohol so settled for lime and soda. Man wise it was slim pickings. As I waited in the Gypsy Moth for our drinks for a grand total of 15 minutes there were two men in front of me having a conversation on whether they'd tell the other one's wife about their cheating. The answer of course was "no.". And THEN, THEN, it emerged that their wives were waiting seated completely unaware of all this a few yards away from them. What fine upstanding men! Fucking hell. Depressing. We left soon after this.

Had a nice night in though troughing on food and not drinking. Really needed a night off so I could speak properly on the radio show the next day. It was pretty cool. I had lots of listeners who seemed to appreciate the music which was ace. The weather Sunday morning was amazing - instantly magics one into happiness. Good old Vitamin D. After the show I went down to revisit one of my favourite statues in London. Its of a lion catching a gazelle right near Victoria station, its very cool. I showed it to my mate Tom when he visited from Manchester a few years ago. Obviously, I thought of him as I checked it out and then he appeared in my dream last night. It was mental. Won't bore you with the details, can barely remember it myself to be fair. Anyway, so I did that then headed back to the old homestead, it clouded over so somehow I spent the entire afternoon chatting to mates on text, email and phone and listening back to the radio show. Why did I tell people about a limerick I sent to my old teacher when I was 15.

My mouth needs to be more obedient.

And finally, as mentioned before it is indeed Catface Comedy this wednesday from 8pm at the Betsey Trotwood. Its going to be a great night so come down if you're about.


Till next time.