Wednesday, 9 May 2012

It's like I told you honey.....Don't make me sad, don't make me cry...

The feeling after you get married I've been told by many, is that of major surrealism.  This is true and also with my hangover, that didn't help.
That following day (after the wedding) we went for a meal in Blackheath which was gorgeous. We ate a full platter of steak and more champagne.  Which actually, I don't really like.  Champagne I mean.  I like prosecco. 
Oh well that's neither here nor there.  The next day (the sunday) we were heading off to Australia. 

For four years (since last going) I have dreamt of Australia intermittently.  I loved it last time and was so keen for Warren to see it too. This would be our only chance.  So we booked a lovely trip which included, Singapore, Adelaide, Brisbane, Byron Bay and Sydney.  There, that oughta do it.

We headed off to Singapore on the Sunday evening from Heathrow on a Qantas flight.  The duration of this journey was 12 and a half hours.  Christ - very depressing. Luckily there was 'nuff in flight entertainment.  Plus, wine.  That's the beauty of long haul flights.  Free wine.  As we were on a night flight I decided that if I drank x3 187ml bottles of Shiraz that would see me a kip for a good three hours.  But unfortunately this was not to be.  I ended up being the ONLY one awake - well that's how it felt.  I was very jealous of all those peacefully drifting about in Dreamland whilst I re-watched Louis Theroux's weird weekends. (Once you've seen the first 5 mins, you get the jist.  But more on Louis later) 
I think I MAY have nodded off but who knows, the whole thing was a bit of a blur.

When we arrived in sweltering Singapore we had a car picking us up. We looked like we'd been on a sweaty safari and felt extremely grubby getting into the posh Jaguar with suited chauffeur and smooooth jaaaaazzzz playing throughout the journey back to the hotel.  We decided to get a nice hotel for this part of the 'moon, the Shang-ri La beach resort with fantastic suite and panoramic room.  (you can sit in the bath and see EVERYTHING).   The first night we decided to head straight for the bar within the hotel complex and not bother to get dressed up.  So I whipped off my anti-deep vein thrombosis socks and we headed out. (Glam times).

I think the jet lag effected me more than I realised as before I knew it I was rather drunk and mistaking another bar go-er for the waitress and asking her to go and get me an ashtray.  Embarrassing. Bit like when people go into a shop and ask a fellow customer for help mistaking them for a sales assistant.

Eventually we fell asleep but were soon wide awake again at 5am where upon we were STARVING hungry and decided to get room service.  A burger and chips each. (glam)  When this came, it was just like in the movies where they bring it up on a trolley and this magically turns into a table.  As you can see I am easily pleased.

The rest of our time in Singapore was lovely and relaxing.  Unfortunately on my wedding day I was rather over enthusiastic on the dance floor and managed to re-hurt my ankle, so much of Singapore was spent limping about.  We managed to see Anne and John for one evening, they took us to a gorgeous Asian restaurant which was amazing.  Very kind of them it was too.  Warren and I ended up staying out that night and getting DWUNK and running in a fountain (this was to be a theme it turns out).

After two full days and night's of relaxation it was time to head off to Adelaide.  I was SO excited and it was just 7 short hours away.... 

To be continued....

Friday, 4 May 2012

It's you, it's you, it's all for you....everything I do...

So, I'm married.  Shocking I know when you consider that this blog started like a journal not dissimilar to a common version of Bridget Jones.  I've not written for a time as before the wedding I was majorly stressing.  It occupied my every thought.  Well, most of them anyway. 

My bridesmaids stayed over at my Ma and Pa's house with me the night before the big day and I was jolly glad that they were there.  We meant to share a bottle of wine between 4, but ended up sharing 4 bottles of wine between 3. (as there was only three of us). 

Needless to say the night was quite drunken but we had a bloody good laugh ending with me sleeping in my old single bed which I'd had since I was eight years old.  It felt quite fitting to be back in that old (wooden) bed.  End of an era and all that.

The next morning I felt OK but had to go to the hairdressers on my own as my stupid hair wouldn't go all curly without the aid of an old lady big head hair dryer thing.  By the time I was done there I was a quivering MESS.  Panicking so much that I wouldn't be home in time for the makeup artist.  When I did eventually get back  I had to use the potty double quick.  Sorry but its true.  At which point my husband to be had his brother deliver me a beautiful Tiffany Bracelet to say how much he loved me etc. Obviously owing to the above, I couldn't get to the door to retrieve it.  Oh well, the thought was there.

I needed to pull myself together so after a few deep breaths and my mantra thought, "What would Kate Middleton do in this situation?"  I decided that a blubbering, large red faced, Bride, was most unbecoming.  A glass of champagne soon put me right.

All too soon the black cab was at the door but by now I decided to treat the whole wedding like one of my comedy shows.  As in treat it like a play. It's not real, go with the flow.  By now all of the Bridesmaids and my mother had left to go to the venue and it was just me and my Pa left.  At this stage I started to rattle off a large list of products I would need to accompany me to the venue, ie: hairspray etc.  Bless him, he would trot off upstairs (I couldn't get upstairs as my dress was too boofy) to try to get me the item requested and return with random jars and potions which were totally irrelevant. (He reminded me of a lovely doggie. Go get the bone! Go get the bone!  *Comes trotting back with a coat hanger.*)  Ah I love him I do.

Aaaaanyway we got to the venue eventually and I needed a large glass of wine to calm my nerves.  Which I had. 
We got married soon after this and it really was a lovely ceremony.  Leon did a reading and my friend Evie sang an opera song.  Warren (my husband) was a bit emotional but it showed he loves me very much.  Or he was regretting being there and wished he could run away. Well too late now.

The rest of the day went incredibly well, the weather was AMAZING.  Blaring hot sunshine, it was like a proper summers day.  I found the bit when we had to photos quite boring - often declaring angrily after copius clicks of his camera "Right, you've got your shot"  (Like Jordan) but the photographer saw the funny side. I think.

During the meal Warren and I had decided that as a present to my niece and nephew we would give them one of those 4 foot blow up remote controlled sharks that appear to "swim" through the air.  The shark came into the dining room during the thank-you's and then continued to "swim" around throughout.  Unfortunately during a particularly moving part of Warren's speech the shark decided to obscure the videographer's lense and there it remained for it's entirety.

The evening party was extra jolly indeed. We had a dance off of course which was basically pure carnage and at this point the evening no longer looked like a wedding reception. But hell, I was too happy to care. 

At the end of the evening I'm told I took hold of the DJ's Microphone and exclaimed how happy I was that everyone had come, that they'd been a great audience and what a fantastic show.  Of course, this meant, it was time to go to bed.

Really, really was a great day and I felt very lucky and happy indeed.

Next installment - the honeymoon. :-)