Sunday, 24 April 2011

I guess there's just no way of knowing....

Happy Easter one and all. I hope you all got lots of eggs blah blah blah. I don't like chocolate much so not really gonna write much about it. Except, don't you think flake chocolate tastes a bit like its gone off?

So do you remember every film you've watched at the cinema? I don't mean do you remember all of the titles of the films. I mean that if you were watching it on TV you'd remember you'd seen it at the cinema. You don't need to remember the full plot, but that you had seen it at some point before.
Well, I was flicking through an old diary the other day from 1996 and I read this:
"10th June 1996
Last night we went to the cinema and on the way we ran over a cat and it was horrible. ---- found it funny though which really pissed me off. He goes, I spose if it had been a dog I would have been a bit upset, and I go, well I'm a cat lover and I think you should have some consideration for me! He then shut up. when we got to the cinema we watched "Now and Then" which was quite a good film although ---- was the only boy in the whole cinema, ha ha."

So I was like, what is this "Now and Then" film? I have NO recollection of ever having seen it. Then yesterday I was flicking through the Sky movie channels and it was on TCM. So I watched it from the start and I couldn't remember ANY of it. Not one bit rang a bell. And it was appalling. It starred, Christina Ricci, Demi Moore (pre surgery), Rosie O Donnell and Melanie Grffiths (post surgery, obviously). And I can't get over how NONE of it rang any bells. None at all.

Oh well. Did you like my excerpt from my diary? The cat bit was awful. I remember that well, I cried my eyes out. There had been a family cycling along on the path by the road and a cat was trotting along near them. Then the young son knocked the cat on his bike and it spooked the cat so it shot into the road and under our car. It ran off over the fence but I didn't hold out much hope for it. Very sad and still makes me feel bloody awful. Thankfully that's the only time that has ever happened.

"8th June 96
It's ----'s birthday tomorrow, I got him a CD, underwear and a top. If he doesn't like it then tough shit because it took me ages to decide exactly what to buy and in River Island I kept going into a cold sweat when buying the underwear and then this bloke came over and started to ask me if I had a phone number his mate could have. I told him I was going out with someone and he goes, that's what they all say."

Ah thems were the days when I used to get asked out randomly in the street!

Anyway onto other stuff. I still attend Boot Camp every Saturday morning and this week's was particularly difficult owing to the heat. It has emerged that I have no upper body strength so I need to start doing press ups in my free time. Like some kind of MAN. When we got onto the stomach exercises I found this extra painful and ended up just flapping about like a beached whale. Suddenly I glanced up and there was WARREN come to pick me up watching me with a smirk on his face. I was so embarrassed. But luckily my face was already bright red so blushes were spared.

I've got the whole week off this week YAY! I can't wait. I'm going to sort out our bedroom. It's a right mess and I'm sick of telling visitors that we're in the middle of decorating, when really it's just a massive shit hole. I'm also going to spend the week surveying the my building's post boxes. Of late it's been noted that there is THIEF who regularly comes to my block's boxes and has a rifle through and steals our MAIL! I couldn't believe it. Then one of my neighbours hear the letter boxes a'clattering and had a look out of his window at 1am in the morning only to see a BURGLAR going through all our boxes. He seemed to have a key to each one. So my neighbour took photos of this and in one snap, the burglar is IN MY POST BOX! What a fucking cheek! I feel violated. So I'm on a stake out this week. We are campaigning to get the post boxes moved into the building. What an EFFING chore that's turning out to be as well. BORING ALERT!!

Hmmm not much else to report cept I put on 4lbs in fat last week. I'm not taking this wedding dress thing very seriously am I. Oh well.

Til next time.

Monday, 11 April 2011

Something in his heart told him to come clean. He was not who he claimed to be.

Bootcamp Saturday morning was a killer. Friday evening I wisely decided to drink several glasses of white wine in preparation for this gruelling training. By the time 8:30pm came around I was on the merry side so I thought I should go home and not drink anymore. So I headed for the train station but cleverly called Warren to arrange to meet up for another large wine at our local bar. Then I was eating curry and then it was the next day. Stupid wine.

Hell I forced myself to go to bootcamp training anyway. When I arrived, there was only one other girl there but pretty soon another three ladies joined us. The trainers were super fit but also very nice so that was a good thing. They set up three circuit things and we had to do them continuously until they blew their whistles signalling us to change to the next circuit thing. We had to do a million squats too - felt like my thighs and arse were on fire. After the first task I looked around at the group to see if I was wheezing the loudest and thank god I wasn't. One of the girl's there had gone all white and was lying on the floor in the recovery position. She was nearly sick and everything.

I was all pleased with myself up until the stomach exercises where upon I too became thoroughly nauseous. I swallowed it though and carried on. By the time the whole thing was over even the whites of my eyes were red. Not a good look. Warren picked me up and had the cheek to say I looked healthy. I got back to the flat and arranged myself into the recovery position on the sofa for one hour and sipped lemonade.

Then I was all better and it was off to B&Q for some items - I stayed in the car park and got a quarter pounder from the burger van. That night we ate a massive chinese takeaway. Sigh.

So it's with regret that I inform you that I have gained 3lbs in one week. I am SO annoyed with myself. I just dunno what's wrong with me, I just can't stop shoving food in my gob. I mean for example, when I watch Super size V Super skinny I actually salivate over the super sizer's food. It looks lush. Not the quantity necessarily but the FOOD.

Anyway - so I've given myself a good talking to and have gone back to Weight Watchers. I need discipline and can't be trusted to eat large quantities of food as I don't seem to register when I'm full up.
I have also signed up for four more sessions of Boot Camp, I deserve the pain. And believe me I'm in pain. Even the back fat hurts.

Anyway - just a short one today will write proper in the next couple of days.

Monday, 4 April 2011

I got that poison, that poison on my mind.....

ON examining yet more photo's tagged of me on Facebook, I've come to the conclusion that my face is actually rather big. It's quite round. Like the moon. I think the only way I'll have cheek bones is by losing a couple of stone. But now I've started Amanda Hamilton's 28 day detox so I hope this will happen soon and a face shape will emerge from my round bonce.

Today on the eating plan, I've actually eaten seeds like a little birdy. I quite liked them. And raisins I've eaten. Like a little er...birdy also. And! And, shock horror. I've just been to the gym on my lunch break. I did the stepper which makes me sweat like a full on pig. I walked up the equivalent of 53 floors. (Canary Wharf is 50 floors so I was proper wheezing.) It's all worth it though.

Tonight I'm gonna get my boy to take a "before" picture of me to compare and contrast at the end of the 28 day period where upon I will go back onto Weight watchers. I plan to show the before and after pictures to Amanda Hamilton herself so that she might become my new best friend and thus send me to her health spa in Thailand. You have to be in it to win it.

Oh boo I had major insomnia last night. I went to bed at 10pm (making sure to record TOWIE on Sky Plus)and then proceeded to toss and turn for four hours eventually dropping off at 2am. Had to be up at 6am for an early meeting and I'm so not feeling too alive today. But at least I AM alive.....

BECAUSE............. I HAVE STOPPED SMOKING! I AM A NON-SMOKER!! That's right. Allen Carr's easy way method of which I attended a 6 hour seminar about on Saturday, has finally put me straight. I would recommend this whole heartily to any smokers wishing to cease (smoking). Saturday evening me and the boy and another couple we know when to some bars in Brick Lane and all three of them are smokers. They wanted to sit outside so they could smoke and I didn't even care and I was all drunk. Not sure what happened but I am cured and no longer will that poison enter my body. I honestly have no idea why I didn't attend this seminar before. Seriously I recommend it.

So, this week sees me being nice to my poor suffering body and a cookery course on Thursday evening. It's to learn how to make decent Paella. I can't wait. And then Saturday I have this Boot Camp army training thing over at Greenwich park. I'm dreading it, these army blokes are well hard and don't tolerate unfit wheezing women. S'gotta be done though. Only 11 weeks until our holiday and I am NOT bobbing about on a lilo in the sea only to become BEACHED like the whale I have been in past years.

We shall see. I hope you're all brilliant