The feeling after you get married I've been told by many, is that of major surrealism. This is true and also with my hangover, that didn't help.
That following day (after the wedding) we went for a meal in Blackheath which was gorgeous. We ate a full platter of steak and more champagne. Which actually, I don't really like. Champagne I mean. I like prosecco.
Oh well that's neither here nor there. The next day (the sunday) we were heading off to Australia.
For four years (since last going) I have dreamt of Australia intermittently. I loved it last time and was so keen for Warren to see it too. This would be our only chance. So we booked a lovely trip which included, Singapore, Adelaide, Brisbane, Byron Bay and Sydney. There, that oughta do it.
We headed off to Singapore on the Sunday evening from Heathrow on a Qantas flight. The duration of this journey was 12 and a half hours. Christ - very depressing. Luckily there was 'nuff in flight entertainment. Plus, wine. That's the beauty of long haul flights. Free wine. As we were on a night flight I decided that if I drank x3 187ml bottles of Shiraz that would see me a kip for a good three hours. But unfortunately this was not to be. I ended up being the ONLY one awake - well that's how it felt. I was very jealous of all those peacefully drifting about in Dreamland whilst I re-watched Louis Theroux's weird weekends. (Once you've seen the first 5 mins, you get the jist. But more on Louis later)
I think I MAY have nodded off but who knows, the whole thing was a bit of a blur.
When we arrived in sweltering Singapore we had a car picking us up. We looked like we'd been on a sweaty safari and felt extremely grubby getting into the posh Jaguar with suited chauffeur and smooooth jaaaaazzzz playing throughout the journey back to the hotel. We decided to get a nice hotel for this part of the 'moon, the Shang-ri La beach resort with fantastic suite and panoramic room. (you can sit in the bath and see EVERYTHING). The first night we decided to head straight for the bar within the hotel complex and not bother to get dressed up. So I whipped off my anti-deep vein thrombosis socks and we headed out. (Glam times).
I think the jet lag effected me more than I realised as before I knew it I was rather drunk and mistaking another bar go-er for the waitress and asking her to go and get me an ashtray. Embarrassing. Bit like when people go into a shop and ask a fellow customer for help mistaking them for a sales assistant.
Eventually we fell asleep but were soon wide awake again at 5am where upon we were STARVING hungry and decided to get room service. A burger and chips each. (glam) When this came, it was just like in the movies where they bring it up on a trolley and this magically turns into a table. As you can see I am easily pleased.
The rest of our time in Singapore was lovely and relaxing. Unfortunately on my wedding day I was rather over enthusiastic on the dance floor and managed to re-hurt my ankle, so much of Singapore was spent limping about. We managed to see Anne and John for one evening, they took us to a gorgeous Asian restaurant which was amazing. Very kind of them it was too. Warren and I ended up staying out that night and getting DWUNK and running in a fountain (this was to be a theme it turns out).
After two full days and night's of relaxation it was time to head off to Adelaide. I was SO excited and it was just 7 short hours away....
To be continued....
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Friday, 4 May 2012
It's you, it's you, it's all for you....everything I do...
So, I'm married. Shocking I know when you consider that this blog started like a journal not dissimilar to a common version of Bridget Jones. I've not written for a time as before the wedding I was majorly stressing. It occupied my every thought. Well, most of them anyway.
My bridesmaids stayed over at my Ma and Pa's house with me the night before the big day and I was jolly glad that they were there. We meant to share a bottle of wine between 4, but ended up sharing 4 bottles of wine between 3. (as there was only three of us).
Needless to say the night was quite drunken but we had a bloody good laugh ending with me sleeping in my old single bed which I'd had since I was eight years old. It felt quite fitting to be back in that old (wooden) bed. End of an era and all that.
The next morning I felt OK but had to go to the hairdressers on my own as my stupid hair wouldn't go all curly without the aid of an old lady big head hair dryer thing. By the time I was done there I was a quivering MESS. Panicking so much that I wouldn't be home in time for the makeup artist. When I did eventually get back I had to use the potty double quick. Sorry but its true. At which point my husband to be had his brother deliver me a beautiful Tiffany Bracelet to say how much he loved me etc. Obviously owing to the above, I couldn't get to the door to retrieve it. Oh well, the thought was there.
I needed to pull myself together so after a few deep breaths and my mantra thought, "What would Kate Middleton do in this situation?" I decided that a blubbering, large red faced, Bride, was most unbecoming. A glass of champagne soon put me right.
All too soon the black cab was at the door but by now I decided to treat the whole wedding like one of my comedy shows. As in treat it like a play. It's not real, go with the flow. By now all of the Bridesmaids and my mother had left to go to the venue and it was just me and my Pa left. At this stage I started to rattle off a large list of products I would need to accompany me to the venue, ie: hairspray etc. Bless him, he would trot off upstairs (I couldn't get upstairs as my dress was too boofy) to try to get me the item requested and return with random jars and potions which were totally irrelevant. (He reminded me of a lovely doggie. Go get the bone! Go get the bone! *Comes trotting back with a coat hanger.*) Ah I love him I do.
Aaaaanyway we got to the venue eventually and I needed a large glass of wine to calm my nerves. Which I had.
We got married soon after this and it really was a lovely ceremony. Leon did a reading and my friend Evie sang an opera song. Warren (my husband) was a bit emotional but it showed he loves me very much. Or he was regretting being there and wished he could run away. Well too late now.
The rest of the day went incredibly well, the weather was AMAZING. Blaring hot sunshine, it was like a proper summers day. I found the bit when we had to photos quite boring - often declaring angrily after copius clicks of his camera "Right, you've got your shot" (Like Jordan) but the photographer saw the funny side. I think.
During the meal Warren and I had decided that as a present to my niece and nephew we would give them one of those 4 foot blow up remote controlled sharks that appear to "swim" through the air. The shark came into the dining room during the thank-you's and then continued to "swim" around throughout. Unfortunately during a particularly moving part of Warren's speech the shark decided to obscure the videographer's lense and there it remained for it's entirety.
The evening party was extra jolly indeed. We had a dance off of course which was basically pure carnage and at this point the evening no longer looked like a wedding reception. But hell, I was too happy to care.
At the end of the evening I'm told I took hold of the DJ's Microphone and exclaimed how happy I was that everyone had come, that they'd been a great audience and what a fantastic show. Of course, this meant, it was time to go to bed.
Really, really was a great day and I felt very lucky and happy indeed.
Next installment - the honeymoon. :-)
My bridesmaids stayed over at my Ma and Pa's house with me the night before the big day and I was jolly glad that they were there. We meant to share a bottle of wine between 4, but ended up sharing 4 bottles of wine between 3. (as there was only three of us).
Needless to say the night was quite drunken but we had a bloody good laugh ending with me sleeping in my old single bed which I'd had since I was eight years old. It felt quite fitting to be back in that old (wooden) bed. End of an era and all that.
The next morning I felt OK but had to go to the hairdressers on my own as my stupid hair wouldn't go all curly without the aid of an old lady big head hair dryer thing. By the time I was done there I was a quivering MESS. Panicking so much that I wouldn't be home in time for the makeup artist. When I did eventually get back I had to use the potty double quick. Sorry but its true. At which point my husband to be had his brother deliver me a beautiful Tiffany Bracelet to say how much he loved me etc. Obviously owing to the above, I couldn't get to the door to retrieve it. Oh well, the thought was there.
I needed to pull myself together so after a few deep breaths and my mantra thought, "What would Kate Middleton do in this situation?" I decided that a blubbering, large red faced, Bride, was most unbecoming. A glass of champagne soon put me right.
All too soon the black cab was at the door but by now I decided to treat the whole wedding like one of my comedy shows. As in treat it like a play. It's not real, go with the flow. By now all of the Bridesmaids and my mother had left to go to the venue and it was just me and my Pa left. At this stage I started to rattle off a large list of products I would need to accompany me to the venue, ie: hairspray etc. Bless him, he would trot off upstairs (I couldn't get upstairs as my dress was too boofy) to try to get me the item requested and return with random jars and potions which were totally irrelevant. (He reminded me of a lovely doggie. Go get the bone! Go get the bone! *Comes trotting back with a coat hanger.*) Ah I love him I do.
Aaaaanyway we got to the venue eventually and I needed a large glass of wine to calm my nerves. Which I had.
We got married soon after this and it really was a lovely ceremony. Leon did a reading and my friend Evie sang an opera song. Warren (my husband) was a bit emotional but it showed he loves me very much. Or he was regretting being there and wished he could run away. Well too late now.
The rest of the day went incredibly well, the weather was AMAZING. Blaring hot sunshine, it was like a proper summers day. I found the bit when we had to photos quite boring - often declaring angrily after copius clicks of his camera "Right, you've got your shot" (Like Jordan) but the photographer saw the funny side. I think.
During the meal Warren and I had decided that as a present to my niece and nephew we would give them one of those 4 foot blow up remote controlled sharks that appear to "swim" through the air. The shark came into the dining room during the thank-you's and then continued to "swim" around throughout. Unfortunately during a particularly moving part of Warren's speech the shark decided to obscure the videographer's lense and there it remained for it's entirety.
The evening party was extra jolly indeed. We had a dance off of course which was basically pure carnage and at this point the evening no longer looked like a wedding reception. But hell, I was too happy to care.
At the end of the evening I'm told I took hold of the DJ's Microphone and exclaimed how happy I was that everyone had come, that they'd been a great audience and what a fantastic show. Of course, this meant, it was time to go to bed.
Really, really was a great day and I felt very lucky and happy indeed.
Next installment - the honeymoon. :-)
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away....
WELL! What a bloody wash out that Christmas was. So Christmas Eve there was I, merrily watching my usual "Scrooged" film feat: Bill Murray and troughing my usual quantities of food and wine. When all of a sudden as I was about to go to bed, I started to get a tummy ache. I shrugged it off as too much food and went to sleep. All of a sudden at about 1am, I was awoken by that horrid griping feeling, known as the dreaded sickness bug. MAH! Both ends as well. So that was Xmas day out for me. I was supposed to cook Nigella's turkey recipe for seven people as well. BAH. Rubbish. However, every cloud I suppose, it meant I didn't eat vats and vats of food, and vats and vats of wine. That can only be good news no?
I got some great presents though which was cool, won't bore you with the details or as SOME people KEEP putting on Facebook when listing great stuff that's happening to them, "Bliss".... OMG! SHUT UP!
EG: "Kids in bed, logs on the fire, chestnuts a roasting, jack frost nipping at my nose and just opened up a bottle of wine for me and my hubby....Bliss."
SHHUUUUT UUUPPP!!!
I had a really nice Christmas break though in spite of the obvious. Went to see my nephew and niece which was lovely, in Bournemouth. Ah! Alex is so sweet... He fell over and hurt himself and as he was finishing crying, he goes "Mummy, I feel really sad..." Ahhhh. Poor Palex. Bless them both.
I also managed to do more outstanding wedding stuff. It's turning into much of a chore now, almost like homework. This latest task was the dreaded table plan. We've had all of our replies in now, and ones we haven't received we are presuming aren't coming. The table plan was a PALAVA and a half but eventually completed it. Also sorted out the "tasting" at the venue. We are taking mama and papa to help us gobble up the food. Guests get a choice of three dishes, which I find quite hassly. But apparently not everyone likes Beef. Dunno why. Its yummy.
In other news, if I were to try my wedding dress on now, it would actually be too small. Ha! So the plan to lose weight hasn't worked yet! But I'm not ruling it out as have embarked on the latest diet craze, "17 day diet" which worked a whole 10lbs for my sister and 1 stone for my brother in law. I am on day 2 currently and so far so good. I know when I look back at all my blogs this is how they ALL start off at this time of year. But THIS TIME if I don't do it, I shall be a pudgy bride. I cannot bear it. I simply cannot.
I will keep you updated with my progress.
Till next time.
I got some great presents though which was cool, won't bore you with the details or as SOME people KEEP putting on Facebook when listing great stuff that's happening to them, "Bliss".... OMG! SHUT UP!
EG: "Kids in bed, logs on the fire, chestnuts a roasting, jack frost nipping at my nose and just opened up a bottle of wine for me and my hubby....Bliss."
SHHUUUUT UUUPPP!!!
I had a really nice Christmas break though in spite of the obvious. Went to see my nephew and niece which was lovely, in Bournemouth. Ah! Alex is so sweet... He fell over and hurt himself and as he was finishing crying, he goes "Mummy, I feel really sad..." Ahhhh. Poor Palex. Bless them both.
I also managed to do more outstanding wedding stuff. It's turning into much of a chore now, almost like homework. This latest task was the dreaded table plan. We've had all of our replies in now, and ones we haven't received we are presuming aren't coming. The table plan was a PALAVA and a half but eventually completed it. Also sorted out the "tasting" at the venue. We are taking mama and papa to help us gobble up the food. Guests get a choice of three dishes, which I find quite hassly. But apparently not everyone likes Beef. Dunno why. Its yummy.
In other news, if I were to try my wedding dress on now, it would actually be too small. Ha! So the plan to lose weight hasn't worked yet! But I'm not ruling it out as have embarked on the latest diet craze, "17 day diet" which worked a whole 10lbs for my sister and 1 stone for my brother in law. I am on day 2 currently and so far so good. I know when I look back at all my blogs this is how they ALL start off at this time of year. But THIS TIME if I don't do it, I shall be a pudgy bride. I cannot bear it. I simply cannot.
I will keep you updated with my progress.
Till next time.
Friday, 18 November 2011
You turn around and life's passed you by. You look to ones you love and ask them why? You look to those you love to justify...
G'day! Yay it's nearly CATurday. My favourite day of the week.
Have you seen the John Lewis advert where the little boy is counting down to Christmas Day as he can't (apparently) wait to give his Mum and Dad a present from John Lewis?
Well, I'll agree it's rather sweet and he has a rather nice smiling cherub face. But the facts are these. No way could he afford to shop in John Lewis, nor would he have been able to go there without his parents to accompany him. Maybe his Nan went with him. But that doesn't explain the cash flow issue.
I myself at his age was receiving a mere 50 pence a week pocket money. With that I would go to the shops down my road (before Thundercats started) to buy Happy Shopper lemonade or cola, some penny sweets (which really WERE a penny, as opposed to these days... honestly I went to the cinema the other week and bought some Pick n Mix and I was disgusted to find that a few fizzy strawbs and shoe laces came in at a whopping £3.41!)
Then my friend Julia would come and knock for me and we'd guzzle our hoard in front of Snarf , Liono and the gang.... Then the following Saturday (which was the only day I was allowed sweeties) we'd do the same again. John Lewis? My arse.
I remember I could make my pocket money up to more by doing chores. So if I did the washing up I'd get 40 pence mid week (per washing up) and 70 pence for Sunday washing up. And once, I managed to save £3.20 which I was going to buy my mum a birthday present with. I was so pleased I'd managed to save it all up. I went down the high street with my mate Cheryl and somehow, managed to lose my purse. I was distraught, we searched everywhere and eventually found my purse, empty of it's contents. I ran around bawling for a bit and finally went to Iceland (in those day's knows as BEJAMS) and found my sister who used to have a Saturday job there. And through snot and tears explained my predicament. She took pity and stole £3.20 out the till to give to me. (I think it was also to get rid of me, for I suspect I was making a scene:-))
Bless me and my poorness. When I was 14 I got a Saturday job in Curtess shoes which was in the corner of Peacocks (very depressing) and I used to do 10am - 2pm for £2.43 per hour. Then I could buy as many Happy Shopper cola's as I liked.
I do think it important that kids get Saturday jobs early on because it prepares them for later life in the work place. In all seriousness I can usually tell people that haven't worked until after Uni/A-levels even at a part time level. It's quite obvious in fact. Therefore it shall be compulsory that my child does a few hours a week part time when they're 16. (I think that's the earliest kids can work these days).
Right, so I've read this back and I sound like an OLD LADY. What the EFF. I've changed. The other day, me and Warren were at a dinner party at our friend's in Wandsworth and we were remarking on our heating and congratulating ourselves on the fact we've not had our's on this year so far. WTF?! Bloody Ell Barbara.
I saw my friend Evie on Wednesday and stayed at her house in Archway. We had a very good laugh but too much wine and too much Youtube. Drinking and Youtube is not a good idea for it never ends. As soon as you watch one, you remember another and another and another and so on... This one is my favourite at the mo...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ
(Happy Birthday to the GROUND!)
Anyway - lunch over - have a lovely weekend y'all.
Have you seen the John Lewis advert where the little boy is counting down to Christmas Day as he can't (apparently) wait to give his Mum and Dad a present from John Lewis?
Well, I'll agree it's rather sweet and he has a rather nice smiling cherub face. But the facts are these. No way could he afford to shop in John Lewis, nor would he have been able to go there without his parents to accompany him. Maybe his Nan went with him. But that doesn't explain the cash flow issue.
I myself at his age was receiving a mere 50 pence a week pocket money. With that I would go to the shops down my road (before Thundercats started) to buy Happy Shopper lemonade or cola, some penny sweets (which really WERE a penny, as opposed to these days... honestly I went to the cinema the other week and bought some Pick n Mix and I was disgusted to find that a few fizzy strawbs and shoe laces came in at a whopping £3.41!)
Then my friend Julia would come and knock for me and we'd guzzle our hoard in front of Snarf , Liono and the gang.... Then the following Saturday (which was the only day I was allowed sweeties) we'd do the same again. John Lewis? My arse.
I remember I could make my pocket money up to more by doing chores. So if I did the washing up I'd get 40 pence mid week (per washing up) and 70 pence for Sunday washing up. And once, I managed to save £3.20 which I was going to buy my mum a birthday present with. I was so pleased I'd managed to save it all up. I went down the high street with my mate Cheryl and somehow, managed to lose my purse. I was distraught, we searched everywhere and eventually found my purse, empty of it's contents. I ran around bawling for a bit and finally went to Iceland (in those day's knows as BEJAMS) and found my sister who used to have a Saturday job there. And through snot and tears explained my predicament. She took pity and stole £3.20 out the till to give to me. (I think it was also to get rid of me, for I suspect I was making a scene:-))
Bless me and my poorness. When I was 14 I got a Saturday job in Curtess shoes which was in the corner of Peacocks (very depressing) and I used to do 10am - 2pm for £2.43 per hour. Then I could buy as many Happy Shopper cola's as I liked.
I do think it important that kids get Saturday jobs early on because it prepares them for later life in the work place. In all seriousness I can usually tell people that haven't worked until after Uni/A-levels even at a part time level. It's quite obvious in fact. Therefore it shall be compulsory that my child does a few hours a week part time when they're 16. (I think that's the earliest kids can work these days).
Right, so I've read this back and I sound like an OLD LADY. What the EFF. I've changed. The other day, me and Warren were at a dinner party at our friend's in Wandsworth and we were remarking on our heating and congratulating ourselves on the fact we've not had our's on this year so far. WTF?! Bloody Ell Barbara.
I saw my friend Evie on Wednesday and stayed at her house in Archway. We had a very good laugh but too much wine and too much Youtube. Drinking and Youtube is not a good idea for it never ends. As soon as you watch one, you remember another and another and another and so on... This one is my favourite at the mo...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ
(Happy Birthday to the GROUND!)
Anyway - lunch over - have a lovely weekend y'all.
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison, take me, tttake me....
SO! Long time no type! Lots has been happening and as the wedding looms I feel rushed off my feet.
The most recent event I can recall is attending the EMA's as a talent escort last weekend. I ended up looking after Selena Gomez, band, backing vocalists and dancers. It was hard work and my feet were killing me. I saw the following celebs, Lady Gaga, Chris Martin, Queen, Snooki and JWOW (a highlight for me, I love Jersey Shore), Jessie J, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars and quite a few more. Some of course I didn't recognise being an old lady. Like LMFAO (is that the right acronym?). They do that "shuffling" song where they do the running man in unison. It's all very clever. The whole experience was really cool - but way too much being on my poor old feets!
Thus ,me and my mate Trish quickly realised, that we were "too old for this shit."
In other less interesting news we have completed and await our wedding invites. Now, this part of the process was the biggest CHORE for me. In the end I got this amazing task (surprise surprise) and I have to say it was an ordeal. In the end, I copied and pasted all wording from pretty much all of the invites I've ever received up to date. Sorry but WTF. BORING ALERT.
Warren and I have had a few bickers over who does what for the wedding. In other words I'm thinking of the stuff to do and then doing it, and he is doing the stuff I think of for him to do. He's like, "I am helping just tell me what to do?!" And I'm like "why can't you think of it for yourself? For example how does the CAKE magic itself there Warren? How? How?!" Ahem. "And how do the fu*king bows get magically on the back of the chairs?! EH?!"
Bless him really. It's more of a woman's job I'm afraid to say and we're nearly there but not quite.
So I watched "I'm a celebrity" last night and BLEUGH. Freddie Star makes me feel sick. Generally. Also why did Iceland advertise food that replicates anus's after that task? Don't they get that the public will now associate a prawn ball with a turkey's ACTUAL bollock? Fuck that was an over sight and a half. They should have just had Stacey soloman shimmering about in disco mode during the break. Then we could just go back to associating camel's toes with her in general as opposed to their food which as I understand it, is there BREAD AND BUTTER.
This weekend just gone Warren and I decided to go for a weekend away to a quaint little village in Kent, that's haunted. Actual Yvette Fielding (of Sea view in the 80's) has been there and everything. We didn't see a thing but I was still too scared to get up in the night and go to the toilet. Instead waiting until Warren awoke and then I scuttled in straight after him.
Talking of Yvette Fielding and the 80's. My mum and dad have just recovered a load of annuals from the 80's namely GIRL and JACKIE. I had a good old read of these and they're well blunt. Their diet tips are harsh. Writing stuff like "to avoid being a fatty"... haha I recommend.
Right just a quick one today.
Till next time.
The most recent event I can recall is attending the EMA's as a talent escort last weekend. I ended up looking after Selena Gomez, band, backing vocalists and dancers. It was hard work and my feet were killing me. I saw the following celebs, Lady Gaga, Chris Martin, Queen, Snooki and JWOW (a highlight for me, I love Jersey Shore), Jessie J, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars and quite a few more. Some of course I didn't recognise being an old lady. Like LMFAO (is that the right acronym?). They do that "shuffling" song where they do the running man in unison. It's all very clever. The whole experience was really cool - but way too much being on my poor old feets!
Thus ,me and my mate Trish quickly realised, that we were "too old for this shit."
In other less interesting news we have completed and await our wedding invites. Now, this part of the process was the biggest CHORE for me. In the end I got this amazing task (surprise surprise) and I have to say it was an ordeal. In the end, I copied and pasted all wording from pretty much all of the invites I've ever received up to date. Sorry but WTF. BORING ALERT.
Warren and I have had a few bickers over who does what for the wedding. In other words I'm thinking of the stuff to do and then doing it, and he is doing the stuff I think of for him to do. He's like, "I am helping just tell me what to do?!" And I'm like "why can't you think of it for yourself? For example how does the CAKE magic itself there Warren? How? How?!" Ahem. "And how do the fu*king bows get magically on the back of the chairs?! EH?!"
Bless him really. It's more of a woman's job I'm afraid to say and we're nearly there but not quite.
So I watched "I'm a celebrity" last night and BLEUGH. Freddie Star makes me feel sick. Generally. Also why did Iceland advertise food that replicates anus's after that task? Don't they get that the public will now associate a prawn ball with a turkey's ACTUAL bollock? Fuck that was an over sight and a half. They should have just had Stacey soloman shimmering about in disco mode during the break. Then we could just go back to associating camel's toes with her in general as opposed to their food which as I understand it, is there BREAD AND BUTTER.
This weekend just gone Warren and I decided to go for a weekend away to a quaint little village in Kent, that's haunted. Actual Yvette Fielding (of Sea view in the 80's) has been there and everything. We didn't see a thing but I was still too scared to get up in the night and go to the toilet. Instead waiting until Warren awoke and then I scuttled in straight after him.
Talking of Yvette Fielding and the 80's. My mum and dad have just recovered a load of annuals from the 80's namely GIRL and JACKIE. I had a good old read of these and they're well blunt. Their diet tips are harsh. Writing stuff like "to avoid being a fatty"... haha I recommend.
Right just a quick one today.
Till next time.
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Did I dream you dreamed about me.
What the EFF is going on with the weather. Stop raining you knob! It's annoying.
Well! What a crazy time it's been these last few weeks. Obviously I'll start with the riots. WHAT THE EFF!!? At the time when it was all kicking off I was genuinely concerned. Basically I live in the middle of Deptford and Lewisham and all around me, these two locations were being savaged by the savages. At one point when I could see black smoke billowing up from our bedroom window we considered making a a run for it. But then I thought what happens if they burnt the flat down whilst I was out and poor Colin the rabbit ended up deaded? So we decided to stay. This basically meant that I sat around watching Sky News until 1am. I couldn't sleep either cos every five minutes it felt like a police siren going past. Plus there were a few masked youths laughing and walking down Blackheath Road all happily and it made me scared. It felt like a war.
The next day the atmosphere in London was sombre. People were wondering what that next night would have in store for us. I decided to head to Orpington for refuge and my man would stay with Colin. I met my mum at Orpington station, most of the shops had closed and Tesco was just about to join them. We needed provisions though so it was necessary to rush in there. We needed Pork Pies, Quiche Lorraine, Sausage Rolls and White Wine. We managed to locate all of these essentials and zipped back to my Ma and Pa's.
And nothing happened. And there was I jogging round Tesco's like a mad man grabbing all the pastry'd items I could find when nowt actually came of it. It seemed the night before had been the clincher.
Someone posted on Youtube, some footage of the "Nugent" in Orpington being broken into. (the Nugent is a fairly new shopping development just outside of Orpington). As usual the Orpingtonian's made a right pigs ear of this. You can see many full facial shots of people laughing and running out of the "Game" store clutching computer consoles with gay abandon. They openly call each other by NAME as well. *sigh*....
Anyway as you will have seen, allot of these little shits have been arrested now. Plus that evil boy that mugged the lad who had a broken jaw (pretending to help him). I'm pleased to see that said boy has got loads of free stuff for his trouble. Doesn't make everything alright though, but it's a start.
SO! In other news, my bloody ankle is still giving me Jip. It turns out that I tore the ligament in my ankle by 60%! The lady says (physio lady) that it would have been better if I'd broken it. :-( BUMS. I am allowed to do swimming and Pilate's. Both forms of exercise I find super boring. Specially Pilate's. But apparently it's sposed to be extra good for you. In the run up to this exercise plan I have had to feed the pain with excessive food and excessive wine intake. I'm pleased to say that this objective is being met daily.
We went to Dorset for the weekend last week and I ate TWO large pork pies from Bridport farmers market and a massive steak each and much pate on warm crusty bread. Very nice. Dreading looking at the scales again (obviiously with me on them). My FINAL eating plan starts again on the 1st September. I've joined Virgin Active to give me an incentive. I didn't like Fitness first, there was always clumps of pubes on the shower floors. BLEE.
I get measured FINALLY for my wedding dress in Feb so I figure that gives me 4 months to get those last few pounds (stone) off. To be honest, the dress looks fine on now, its got an EXTRA sucky in basque in it. The wonders of BONE-ING. (snigger)
I just burped and where I've got head phones on I'm wondering if anyone heard me. I daren't look around just in case. Oh no. Embarrassing. (I'm at work)
Anyways, so yes, the latest in TV is of course BB and X factor. Big Brother I'm going off of quite quickly. Boring KERRY KATONA, BORING TARA REID, BORING BORING BORING.
HOWEVER I though X Factor was Xcellent this week. And isn't Gary Barlow gorgeous. I love him a bit. Also, If you watched it you'll know what I mean when I mention that cringey girl kitty, the one who sat on the stage. I literally got a watery mouth where I nearly puked at her behaviour. But as for the judges I think they did a MUCH better job certainly without Dani and Cheryl. I like their SPUNK.
And that's that. I hope you're all well.
Well! What a crazy time it's been these last few weeks. Obviously I'll start with the riots. WHAT THE EFF!!? At the time when it was all kicking off I was genuinely concerned. Basically I live in the middle of Deptford and Lewisham and all around me, these two locations were being savaged by the savages. At one point when I could see black smoke billowing up from our bedroom window we considered making a a run for it. But then I thought what happens if they burnt the flat down whilst I was out and poor Colin the rabbit ended up deaded? So we decided to stay. This basically meant that I sat around watching Sky News until 1am. I couldn't sleep either cos every five minutes it felt like a police siren going past. Plus there were a few masked youths laughing and walking down Blackheath Road all happily and it made me scared. It felt like a war.
The next day the atmosphere in London was sombre. People were wondering what that next night would have in store for us. I decided to head to Orpington for refuge and my man would stay with Colin. I met my mum at Orpington station, most of the shops had closed and Tesco was just about to join them. We needed provisions though so it was necessary to rush in there. We needed Pork Pies, Quiche Lorraine, Sausage Rolls and White Wine. We managed to locate all of these essentials and zipped back to my Ma and Pa's.
And nothing happened. And there was I jogging round Tesco's like a mad man grabbing all the pastry'd items I could find when nowt actually came of it. It seemed the night before had been the clincher.
Someone posted on Youtube, some footage of the "Nugent" in Orpington being broken into. (the Nugent is a fairly new shopping development just outside of Orpington). As usual the Orpingtonian's made a right pigs ear of this. You can see many full facial shots of people laughing and running out of the "Game" store clutching computer consoles with gay abandon. They openly call each other by NAME as well. *sigh*....
Anyway as you will have seen, allot of these little shits have been arrested now. Plus that evil boy that mugged the lad who had a broken jaw (pretending to help him). I'm pleased to see that said boy has got loads of free stuff for his trouble. Doesn't make everything alright though, but it's a start.
SO! In other news, my bloody ankle is still giving me Jip. It turns out that I tore the ligament in my ankle by 60%! The lady says (physio lady) that it would have been better if I'd broken it. :-( BUMS. I am allowed to do swimming and Pilate's. Both forms of exercise I find super boring. Specially Pilate's. But apparently it's sposed to be extra good for you. In the run up to this exercise plan I have had to feed the pain with excessive food and excessive wine intake. I'm pleased to say that this objective is being met daily.
We went to Dorset for the weekend last week and I ate TWO large pork pies from Bridport farmers market and a massive steak each and much pate on warm crusty bread. Very nice. Dreading looking at the scales again (obviiously with me on them). My FINAL eating plan starts again on the 1st September. I've joined Virgin Active to give me an incentive. I didn't like Fitness first, there was always clumps of pubes on the shower floors. BLEE.
I get measured FINALLY for my wedding dress in Feb so I figure that gives me 4 months to get those last few pounds (stone) off. To be honest, the dress looks fine on now, its got an EXTRA sucky in basque in it. The wonders of BONE-ING. (snigger)
I just burped and where I've got head phones on I'm wondering if anyone heard me. I daren't look around just in case. Oh no. Embarrassing. (I'm at work)
Anyways, so yes, the latest in TV is of course BB and X factor. Big Brother I'm going off of quite quickly. Boring KERRY KATONA, BORING TARA REID, BORING BORING BORING.
HOWEVER I though X Factor was Xcellent this week. And isn't Gary Barlow gorgeous. I love him a bit. Also, If you watched it you'll know what I mean when I mention that cringey girl kitty, the one who sat on the stage. I literally got a watery mouth where I nearly puked at her behaviour. But as for the judges I think they did a MUCH better job certainly without Dani and Cheryl. I like their SPUNK.
And that's that. I hope you're all well.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Don't crack up.... Bend your brain, see both sides, throw off your mental chains....
I GOT IT!
(Not my PERIOD in case you're an "Are you there God it's me Margaret" fan.)
No, I GOT IT! I got the DRESS. The wedding dress I mean. The one I will become a Mrs. WIFE in.
Well, this has been a long time coming cos I've been putting it off until I've shifted some more flabbage. But in the end someone convinced me to call up the Bridey shop and when I told them the date of my wedding she told me off for not coming in sooner! She told me that I was CUTTING IT FINE and that anything could happen in the 7 months until my wedding. She said "what happens if there's another ash cloud?" And I wasn't equipped to answer her on that one, so I made an appointment for Saturday just gone.
I explained to the lady that I was planning on losing more weight and I didn't see the point in coming in before now. She said there was "nothing of me". Er yeh. Right. So when I finally went in with my SPRAINED ankle and crutch (more on that later) I felt incredible apprehensive. She asked me to pick out three dresses I liked. But they all looked the SAME to me. By now I was feeling extra blue. Luckily my mate and Ma was there to help. Sam picked a few and I said they were OK so we went to try them on. Even though my face was GLUM.
At first I looked a bit like a sausage squashed into an incredibly tight space. These dresses were the WRONG size. The sucking in of the fat was good but then it had to go somewhere, and thus billowed over the dress in copious BACK FAT.
But THEN I tried on this dress that was very similar to all other generic wedding dresses and it looked GOOD. So I thought, well I don't want THIS dress cos all ladies have this one, but the shape is GOOOOOOD but more BLING please and more DETAIL etc. And then the lady brought out this dress and it was much more money than I wanted to spend and do you know? It fit. It bloody fit. So I ordered it. Phew.
I plan to lose 1.5 stone by the time I get it. EASY PEASY, now I've seen it. I've done 1.5 stone in total up to now so we're on our way baby!
(Oh God it's really happening. Bloody 'ell Barbara.)
Anyway, now onto other stuff. So, as I mentioned above I have cleverly sprained my ankle AGAIN. Honestly my ankles are PATHETIC. All spindly and sparrow like. One false move and WHOOPS there she goes, arse over tit. This particular injury was done at a BBQ last Saturday. I'd only been there half an hour or so, I tried to ignore the pain by drinking more Vodka (I'm on Atkins) but to no avail. It just got worse and worse and my ankle became fat and bloated. Warren had to carry me out to the car. Haha. Luckily the vodka did help to numb some of the pain but the next day, it bloody killed. And now my left foot is all green like Shrek. I look HOT. Also this limping lark is VERY boring indeed.
I've got back into my Itunes downloads again. I'm extra loving this song below. Bad quality clip but on Itunes it sounds MINT. Very good for when you feel blue, or if you're LIMPING:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY41o-iZStI
Have a listen.
In other news I'm going on this high powered speed boat ride on Sunday on the Thames. It was a treat for my dad's 60th. I dunno why he wants to do something so dangerous but I reluctantly agreed to go along. Warren's coming too, Mummy's watching. Anyway, apparently they have James Bond music accompanying you whilst you zoom along. Scary stuff. Will let you know if I survive.
Anyway I'm off for coffee with Princess Kitty. Off I go.
*whistling* (Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, no body's gonna slow me down oh no, I've got to keep on moving...)
(Not my PERIOD in case you're an "Are you there God it's me Margaret" fan.)
No, I GOT IT! I got the DRESS. The wedding dress I mean. The one I will become a Mrs. WIFE in.
Well, this has been a long time coming cos I've been putting it off until I've shifted some more flabbage. But in the end someone convinced me to call up the Bridey shop and when I told them the date of my wedding she told me off for not coming in sooner! She told me that I was CUTTING IT FINE and that anything could happen in the 7 months until my wedding. She said "what happens if there's another ash cloud?" And I wasn't equipped to answer her on that one, so I made an appointment for Saturday just gone.
I explained to the lady that I was planning on losing more weight and I didn't see the point in coming in before now. She said there was "nothing of me". Er yeh. Right. So when I finally went in with my SPRAINED ankle and crutch (more on that later) I felt incredible apprehensive. She asked me to pick out three dresses I liked. But they all looked the SAME to me. By now I was feeling extra blue. Luckily my mate and Ma was there to help. Sam picked a few and I said they were OK so we went to try them on. Even though my face was GLUM.
At first I looked a bit like a sausage squashed into an incredibly tight space. These dresses were the WRONG size. The sucking in of the fat was good but then it had to go somewhere, and thus billowed over the dress in copious BACK FAT.
But THEN I tried on this dress that was very similar to all other generic wedding dresses and it looked GOOD. So I thought, well I don't want THIS dress cos all ladies have this one, but the shape is GOOOOOOD but more BLING please and more DETAIL etc. And then the lady brought out this dress and it was much more money than I wanted to spend and do you know? It fit. It bloody fit. So I ordered it. Phew.
I plan to lose 1.5 stone by the time I get it. EASY PEASY, now I've seen it. I've done 1.5 stone in total up to now so we're on our way baby!
(Oh God it's really happening. Bloody 'ell Barbara.)
Anyway, now onto other stuff. So, as I mentioned above I have cleverly sprained my ankle AGAIN. Honestly my ankles are PATHETIC. All spindly and sparrow like. One false move and WHOOPS there she goes, arse over tit. This particular injury was done at a BBQ last Saturday. I'd only been there half an hour or so, I tried to ignore the pain by drinking more Vodka (I'm on Atkins) but to no avail. It just got worse and worse and my ankle became fat and bloated. Warren had to carry me out to the car. Haha. Luckily the vodka did help to numb some of the pain but the next day, it bloody killed. And now my left foot is all green like Shrek. I look HOT. Also this limping lark is VERY boring indeed.
I've got back into my Itunes downloads again. I'm extra loving this song below. Bad quality clip but on Itunes it sounds MINT. Very good for when you feel blue, or if you're LIMPING:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY41o-iZStI
Have a listen.
In other news I'm going on this high powered speed boat ride on Sunday on the Thames. It was a treat for my dad's 60th. I dunno why he wants to do something so dangerous but I reluctantly agreed to go along. Warren's coming too, Mummy's watching. Anyway, apparently they have James Bond music accompanying you whilst you zoom along. Scary stuff. Will let you know if I survive.
Anyway I'm off for coffee with Princess Kitty. Off I go.
*whistling* (Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, no body's gonna slow me down oh no, I've got to keep on moving...)
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