Friday, 26 December 2008

The feeling has gone only you and I, it means nothing to me.

Hmmm so Boxing day it is. I have to say a little bit disappointed with this year's festivities. I know its no-one's fault that my mum was in Hospital (she came out yesterday arvo) but it meant Christmas was a most unchristmassy christmas.. I did make christmas dinner and we read the cracker's shit jokes. Unfortunately my dad's one had a note in it saying that he wasn't my real father and him and my mum had a row. (It's all sorted now.)

Telly on Christmas day was pretty good, though I found the Royle Family a bit strange - seems to be on the unrealistic side this year - like the Turkey saga. Still funny but not quite the same vibe. Also this is the first one where they seem to have moved from the usual living room setting which was weird. Blackadder Rides Again was very good. Interestingly enough me and my dad had previously been watching THe Blackadder Christmas Carol and were discussing the amount of public appearances Rowan Atkinson doesn't do...So it was quite lovely to see him speaking on the Documentary at 10:30pm. I bloody missed Doctor Who didn't I. S'cause I decided to watch A Boy Called Alex on channel 4 and I lost track of time. Presumably it'll be repeated, I mean I watched last year's Christmas Special on the flight to Australia so got there eventually. Didn't really rate it to be fair, Kylie looked haggard.

Going back a bit, Christmas Eve was as messy as predicted. My dad had to come and get me at 10:30pm and I knew he'd be in a stress so I bought him meat and chips from the kebab shop - didn't seem to make much of a difference. I always feel especially juvenile around my parents. I'm 30 now, yet things seem to be the same. When do you reckon they'll take me seriously? Prolly when I stop being picked up from the pub on Christmas Eve, sat on the pavement, battered, with a doner kebab as a peace offering. I'd have been grateful if it were the other way round.

I'm off to my friend Karen's house today for some jolly times. I need to go via my flat as A, my fish will be STARVING and B, I left my mobile phone there Christmas Eve morning. Imagine the amount of texts and calls I'll have missed! Millions I expect. Specially from boys, loads from spunky lads! Never fear boys I shall retrieve my moby in less than four short hours. Lucky you.

I've got my radio show on Sunday morning 10am -12pm so would love for you to have a little listen in. and click listen now. I hope everyone else had a nice day, it sure seemed that way on smug old Facebook status updates. Great days.

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

In a better time, you could be my friend.

So its Christmas Eve and I don't feel in the slightest bit Christmassy. Could it be because I'm in work and no one else is? Well, there are some people in but most have finished now. All the home county types have gone back to mummy and daddy leaving a lone few here in Londinium. I spose one of the reasons I'm feeling a little gloomy is because my mum's in Hospital having just had a major op on her arm (which it turned out was broken in three places) and she might be in over Christmas day. So although I knew I'd be making Christmas Dinner for my mum and dad, now it looks like its just me and my dad and obviously a good couple of visits to the hospital and my Nannie. Oh well. I'm sure all will be well in the end.

One thing that is rather jolly is the new Muppet Film that's on telly right now - its "Its a wonderful Life" and Kermit has wished he'd never been born to the detriment of all his muppety pals. It's good it is. I wonder how they keep Kermit's voice the same? What a great film!

Friday night we had some Christmas Drinks over at the newly refurbished (after the fire) Hawley Arms, HOME OF THE EMO. I really do not like this pub anymore, (sorry Doug) but its just way too pretentious.

Back to the Christmas drinks. I have this really innovative new thing. Its Deely Boppers with MISTLETOE ATTACHED. This forces men to kiss me. They basically HAVE to. Why didn't I think of this sooner? What a great night that was.

ERGH! BLEEE! What is this crap on telly now? Could it be High School Musical? There are loads of teenagers doing SINGING. GROSSSSS!!! Reminds me of this really weird thing I used to watch as a kid called "Swans Crossing" weird. OH YUCK MAKE IT STOP.

Right here are my plans over christmas. Early doors here today at MTV around 2pm so we're all heading over to Pat's pub in Mornington Crescent for some festive cheer. I really really need to pace myself cause after Camden, I've drinks in my old local in Orpington with the gang and every year for the past four, I've been battered by 8pm and my dad's had to come and get me. I hope to last until at least 10pm tonight.

I'm actually looking forward to January quite a bit for this year's been a bit shit if I'm honest, well, the period from around September 07 - July 08 was crap and without being dramatic was pretty much the worst time I've ever experienced. Now though its onwards and upwards because I really feel excitement at the prospect of 2009.

In June I'm being made redundant from MTV and having been here for 8 years am kind of ok about it. I really really want to go back to Australia and this would be the perfect opportunity. On top of these life changing plans, I also have new year resolutions like, take my make up off properly every night, accept that most people in life are a little bit strange and I can't change them or figure 'em out. I also need to DETOX so badly and again I'm genuinely looking forward to that too, there's still hope for me yet people!

Have a good Christmas everyone. :-)

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

I'm in over my head you got under my skin, I've got no strength at all....

Yeah so crazy days and not long till christmas. (I hate people who say Crimbo) The week consisted of lots of stuff, like for example Friday my bedroom door jammed shut and I found myself in just my dressing gown not able to get dressed from 8 am to 2pm. Happy days. Didn't end up going to work and my dad had to come round and bash it in. BAH.

Saturday I went to South London Radio to check out their wears and it was pretty cool, they also transmit Time FM and I should be covering a few shows on both channels over the christmas period. Both are FM channels that play out to the south east but I'm still going to be doing SW1 radio so never fear. That night I went up town to meet my pal's Evie and Caroline and also Evie's jamborie (other street performers) for some wines. I did lots of wine drinking, too much to leave at a suitable time infact! I met a nice guy but I think he may have been put off by my drunkness (?) or he may just be a mentalist. Who knows! (I suspect a little from column A and a a little from column B) The next day after three hours of sleep I had to get up to do the radio show. I know I crossed the mark on this particular show, not swearing and stuff but just being a a little bit rude about some celebs but we did get more callers and emails than usual so I take that as a good sign.

Sunday arvo I prepared a sumptuous buffet for some girlfriends of which they hardly ate any - All claiming to have had big dinners before they came out. Whatever! We had a lovely chat and a few glasses of wine. The only strange bit was when I mentioned to my friend Katy (who lives on the 5th floor of my building) about a girl called Nicola who lives on my floor. I was telling Katy that we should get her involved with our jolly japes a bit more as I think she's a little unhappy here and would appreciate some neighbourly gestures. Katy agreed that we'd do this, but the next day an email went round saying that Nicola had died on friday. I couldn't believe this news, completely gobsmacked was I and incredibly upset. I also learnt that day, that my mum has had a nasty fall down a whole flight of stairs and had badly broken her arm (bit between elbow and shoulder) and put her back out and has multple bruises including a black eye. Could have been much worse so I must be glad for that but you know when you just think, now how about a bit of good news?

One thing I'm looking forward to is heading out to Covent Garden tonight for me and my homey's Christmas meal. We go out every year or at least get together and swap presents. I hope they like mine, I'm crapola at Christmas shopping. WhenI ventured out monday morning to Greenwich for some shopping, I knew it'd be awful as soon as I stepped out of my block of flats cause there was a man pissing up against our post boxes. I didn't see him at first as I was looking up at my window to admire my fairy lights on the tree. I backed right into him and he goes "sorry miss" but was bending over and making straining noises as I suppose he tried to clench his (mid-flow) piss in. It was down hill from there on. Like I was walking along the street and caught a glimpse of my haggard face in the barber shop window and exclaimed "God!" as I was so outraged at my weathered look. A lady infront of me turned around all indignant as if I'd meant to say "god" to her. So I said "Oh I wasn't saying God at you I was saying it cause I glimpsed my weathered face in the mirror". She didn't even react or give me a sisterly high five. MOOOOODY. Anyhow I managed to do most of my shopping & finishing the rest online today.

Anyway - I'm looking after my mum today so gonna go downstairs to sit with her now. Byeee.

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

I know they're watching.....they're watching.

Really, does the "Here comes the girls" song HAVE to be played so constantly? It's on WHENEVER there's even a single female on telly. The female will walk into shot and it's "Here comes the girls (girls) girls (girls girls!)".... GOD. There are other songs you know, to accompany women. Why can't they revert back to the usual "Sisters are doing it for themselves" (Please don't.)

Anyway, I'm feeling exceptionally jolly this week. I've just downloaded some christmas classics to play on my radio show on Sunday (you better listen!) and I'm finding that listening to them on my IPOD whilst battling through the hurly burly of London is making me more forgiving. Like for example, say I get barged whilst boarding the cattle infested tube, usually I would be all angry and want to smash their faces in. But with "Stop the cavalry" playing in my ear somehow, all I can do is smile. You try it! Also another goody is "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses.

My sister and I were reminiscing the other day about a particularly good christmas about 4.5 years ago when Ma, Pa, me and her had lots of laughter through out the day. Like when my mum served up the veg and a parsnip was standing upright and I hilariously commented that it looked like an exceptionally small dick. How we laughed. Then we did squirting squirty cream directly into our mouths and have photographic evidence to prove this. Happy days.

I had a dream last night that I was in love and loved by a friend of mine called James. When I awoke I sent him a text saying I'd dreamt of him. He wanted to know what it was about ( suspect in case it was a rudey one) and imagine his surprise when I told him that we had loved each other dearly, I also declared that I still did love him but that it would probably wear off by around 4pm. (It has actually nearly worn off now - oh well)

On the train today and yesterday I noticed an excessive amount of men picking their noses. Infact there was this handsome man who sat next to me and I kept sneaking him admiring glances until he started to do some serious gouging up his nose. It so didn't go with the song I was listening to at the time on my IPOD (Tiny Dancer - Elton John).

Facebook's confusing me. I keep getting updates on there like "Steve Cox just answered the question "Do you think Leanne Diggins does a mean booty shake?" What the fuck? Why has this question even arisen? (The answer is of course YES) If you know what this all means please comment.

I'm meeting my good pal Evie tonight for a Christmas drink, although I'm trying to lose weight (stupid time to do this I know) as I'm going to a wedding on 4th January. I've been asked to do a Reading at the wedding so I need to look great. I bought a dress from Monsoon yesterday (and "Shrug" BLEEEE I HATE THAT WORD!!) and its a bit snug (the dress) but there was no way I was opting for the size above - just couldn't do it. I thought it was loverly to be asked to do the Reading though, hope I'm not all blubbing.

Anyway - last thing, listen into my radio show this sunday 10am - 12pm on SW1 Radio. and click listen now, or tune in on 87.7 FM if you are in the surrounding areas of SW1. K BYE!

Thursday, 4 December 2008

And sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live...

Well I'm pleased to say my diary's filling up nicely with many occasions to smash my liver further. Happy days.

I've embarked on a last ditch attempt to get fit and have decided to go back to the gym. I've arranged for some excellent music to pump from my IPOD to keep me going. Like....."So what!" by Pink. YEAH! That oughta do it.

YUCK! Just seen Enya on telly - she looks proper old but at least I could make out some actual words in her latest song. I was thinking to myself this morning whilst tucking into a sumptuous breakfast, did Slade write their christmas hit? Cause if they didn't then they probably hate christmas eh? Imagine that! Gutted. Oh I have many thoughts, all of them incredibly interesting.

I keep getting texts from Australia people telling me they're about to drink Sambuca's! :-( BOOOO I wanna be back there. When I wake up in my bed at the moment I keep losing my bearings. Yesterday I actually thought I must have pulled and was in a strange boy's bedroom. (then I realised it didn't smell of "boy" so that soon brought me crashing back down to earth). Sigh. One thing that's good is, at least I have Christmas to look forward to. God I love Christmas day its just a massive eat fest at my house (Ma and Pa's house) and this year, as ever there'll be no strange boyfriends hanging around. We prefer it with no outsiders.

And, it also means the traditional watching of the best Christmas film EVER. "Scrooged" starring Bill Murray. I remember last year, my ex-boyfriend was particularly difficult over the obligatory watch of this film, forcing me to watch the highly BORING original version of it first. What a weirdo. This year my sister's coming up from Bournemouth as she is equally a huge fan. Can't wait! I'll also be watching it with my friend Lauren as she's never seen it. Sheltered or what!

I've done some more culling on Facebook, I simply couldn't bear the outrageous spelling mistakes on people's status updates. More to follow I expect.

SO! SW1 radio is going FM this sunday! (87.7fm) My show is on 10am to 12pm so you simply MUST listen in. If you're out of the FM Radius which most will be, please log into at 10am this sunday and prepared to be dazzled as I entertain you with some excellent music and hilarious banter!

Anyway - I've got a bagel to eat.

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

I got a brand new attitude and I'm gonna wear it tonight...

I can't believe I only managed three blogs whilst on nearly a month's hols in Australia. People up to now have irritated me with there cooing of Oz. But they were so very right.

I got up to Sydney and Byron Bay last blog and also a bit about Steve's zoo. God Byron Bay is beautiful. But it all is. The people, the weather, the lads, the kids even! They don't do that thing they do here, you know....that thing......... stabbing.

After Byron Bay we continued our travels up to Brisbane where we were picked up my old pal Alex who emigrated a couple of years ago and got wed to his lady Jo. He picked us up and we decided to for a couple of beers (Tooeys New) and then went off to his house. Yes house. A three bedroom one, one that looks like this (actually this very one)

So yeah we went there and had a loverly barbque. I did the cooking and it were' ace. My favourite bottles of wine were available in litre screw top bottles ( I only realised this once the wine had been consumed "hey, how comes I'm so drunk?") Happy days. He has a great life set up there with a nice big house, garden, dog, cat the full shabang. The next day I had another one of my "special" hangovers so didn't rise until 1pm.

The following tuesday (day after Steve's zoo visit) we went on a 3 dy trip to Frazer Island. This place was amazing, with a 75 mile beach. We were with a tour guide called Rob who drove us about in a 4 wheel drive which was mental. I've never been thrown around so much in my life, t literally felt like our spines were disintegrating whenever we went over a bump. We drove directly on the beach sometimes splashing in the sea as well. Beautiful, amazing, marvellous etc. We'd previously met up with my good friend Katie and she came along with us. On the trip we teamed up with nice girl called Hannah too and a couple of northern lads called Dean and Mike. They were all a right good craic. Rob, our tour guide, totally wanted to bone Hannah as soon as he saw her. I made it known that I knew of his intentions.

Up to now we hadn't seen any dingo's although all over the island there were warning signs of what to do and what not to do if you saw one. You weren't meant to go anywhere alone in case a load of them jumped you. I was pretty scared so went everywhere in pairs or groups. We finally saw one and it was soooooooo cute for it had a babba and it was washing her. Scary my arse.

At Frazer, you're not allowed to splash about in the sea coz of sharks which are rife apparently, so instead we went in the FRESH WATER LAKES that were dotted about the island. It was like something out of dirty dancing 'cept no one would pick me up. Night time consisted of going to a bar riddled with Crickets and putting Rick Astley on the juke box. Just so happened that both Dean and Mike were massive fans. They love the cheese (being cheesy is easy as they said)but after my presuming they were thus "together" realised this was just me wrongly stereotyping. I particularly loved the fact they thought I looked a bit like Kimberley out of Girls Aloud. Then it was time to call up Samantha Buca, and this we did with gusto. Then we thought why not go on the beach and look at the stars? So we did this as well. God this place is a different world - I really canna recommend it enough.

The next day in the lake we played rolling down the vertical sandy drop straight into the water and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Frazer Island rules.

The saturday after Frazer was spent going to Alex and Jo's again and having a disco. I INSISTED on letting his doggie sleep on my bed and eventually passed out fully clothed. The next day they took us to see the glass top mountains and some beaches on the sunshine coast, sooo lovely. I am fully aware that this blog is a bit gushy but I don't care. I'm all gushed up (yick). I'm back to work tomorrow and I really do not wanna be back in the real world again. I've learnt silly things about myself, and also crucial stuff too. I feel relaxed and happy and am now focusing on my next trip back to Oz.

Roll on christmas.....