So I've been doing some thinking and I've worked out why I'm so bothered about being 30. I think it's because I'm worried that I'm destined to walk this planet alone. I can only liken my feelings to the popular game "Musical Chairs".
So the chair is the man and the contenders are the women. The music starts and we all begin to dance around the chairs, eying each other suspiciously. And all the way through my 20's I'm content to mainly dance and not sit down much. But now I fear, the music's stopped and I'm rushing from chair to chair (man) but there's a woman already sitting on each one and I'm too late.
I said to my pal Patsy yesterday, it's not that I dislike being single, that bits ok for now. If someone could just name a year that I'd meet someone..... like in 2011 you'll meet someone........ I could rest easy, but they can't and that's why I don't wanna be 30.
Cos now babys are springing up all over the place and none of them are mine. Not that I want one anyway cause they normally have wotsits mixed with spit on their fingers, and I can't understand anything they're saying.......but having the option would be good. Cos my name's not Mary mother of God you see, even though some see me as Royalty....my name isn't Mary and I can't magic a baby in my tummy. Not that I want a baby you understand, I just want a fucking CHAIR. One that has prospects and visions and kindness. One that's really comfy to sit on, so much so, that I never want to get up and dance away.
WOW. I am deep and it's friday people.
I wish I could be like Solange Knowles (sibling to Beyonce) cause like she says in her song. "I decided, that you are the HIM for me. I decided." Well I decided that that man, is the one for me but he's GAY. So now what? Hang on a minute, I decided he was gay cause he didn't want to go out with me! So therefore I DID DECIDE SOMETHING. Hooray.
Right lets move on. Tonight I'm off to a wedding reception and I'm looking forward to it. There will be old school friends there and HOPEFULLY a buffet. Buffets rule. Hope there's pork pies.
Saturday I'm going to IKEA again to get items and meat balls and then Sunday its the launch of the radio show I present on SW1 Radio. Tune in (well log on) between 10:00am and 12pm. Go to SW1radio.co.uk and click listen now. If that don't work open media player and stick in http://icecast.commedia.org.uk:8000/sw1radio.mp3 and that should do the trick.
In other radio news my good friend and radio presenter Joe Amphlett made the newspapers today! Well done JOE! Good job, I especially loved the opening line of the article "A Beauty Contest judge has been given the boot for calling the contestants MUNTERS" hahahahahaha! Joe's from the popular duo Amphlett and Candy who in the olden days I used to manage! Great days eh lads?
Right - have a lovely weekend.
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3 comments:
I think your Musical Chair analogy is very true (and sooooo depressing!), but I do think there is a point when the chairs throw off their long term sitter and look for a new one. So I believe that in our 40's it will be rich pickings (sadly of men with lots of baggage but hey - I am no longer picky). I try to believe this as it stops me from crying.
Or you could just botox your tear ducts. x
I do that for fun anyway :)
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