Yeah! So I´m here in Ibiza in a sweaty internet room thing in the hotel tapping this very brief blog out. So far the hol has been great, with blue skies and baking hot sun. I´m being extra careful and wearing FACTOR 15 and no. 30 on my area by my lady bits. (As in my upper thighs.) As in they never see the light of day so are pretty much SCREAMING every time I expose myself. Not expose myself, sunbathe. So far I have seen 2.5 good looking men but they don´t see me. Probably for the best.
A typical day is breakfast at nine, full english. Then back to the room for a quick bout of the runs. This is then followed by some factor application followed by some tears at the sight of myself in a bikini. Then its off to the beach for some extreme sunshine. At around 2pm its time for lunch so its back up to the cafe for a tuna roll. (I fancy the waitor but he doesn´t fancy me.)
Later on, I will do more sunbathing and then go for a swim in the crystal clear aqua marine sea. This is much fun. I generally bob about thinking that if I won the lottery I would live here. There´s a specific apartment I would buy and also a specific boat. After this I tend to do some doggy paddle, and then get my feet caught in sea weed. This makes me scream and I exit the sea.
Later on its time to have a snooze under the umbrella. After much dribbling its time to wake up to read some more "Marian Keyes". This is followed by a trip to the Hotel´s pool where in Lauren proceeds to swim in an extremely athletic style (head in water, goggles etc) and I do more bobbing around, coupled with treading water.
Now its time to look lovely. I do showering and ready for dinner where in I order some red wine. This for some reason is chilled, but is still drinkable. Later on its up to watch some night time cabaret, last night it was Bird´s of Prey. Actual birds were flying around the audience being all big and swoopy. At this point Lauren turned to me and said "We don´t like this do we." I said "No we don´t Lauren" to which she replied "No, its like Bear Dancing isn´t it." To which I replied "HAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA! Funniest thing you´ve said all holiday" Great days.
Later on we went to Cairo´s (nearby bar thing) and I did Karaoke. "Lipstick on your Collar" and Tracey Ulman´s "They don´t know about us". I dedicated the latter to the DJ in his BOOTH because he didn´t know about us but I think he loved it.
So far this holiday gets an 8.5 our of 10. Basically, if I could live here I would, Cala Llonga is beautiful.