And damn right, it's better than yours.....

The sunsets of late have been RIDICK. I actually feel happy when looking at them, what's that all about. Just so you know, my view is overlooking south east London. The Gherkin, the er...gherkin ad other buildings. I can see Canary Wharf very well too. But, BUT! The main thing I love is the sun, the clouds and its crazy colours, makes me quite glad to be here make no mistake.

Now, onto other stuff. So I have continued my search on the dating site. I've had lots of emails believe it or not but one was from someone I knew. He wrote DIGGINS! And I was like SHIT!! And he was like, don't worry, I just wanted to say Hi. He told me he was just looking for sex. LIKE 40 % of men on there are doing. I spoke to my friend who is also on there and warned her of this and we've agreed to just have sex with men we don't like. That's what I normally do anyway.

One man said to me "I like face, it pretty."

What a stud. Let's get married.

I had a dream last night that I'd arranged a wedding with a guy and all my friends were there for this "marriage". And it was on the news as a marriage of convenience. He started out as being aright FUGLY and then I woke up, because my nephew was jabbering away in his cot....

THEN I went back to sleep and unusually went back into my dream and the man turned into a fit Irish man. Then it was on the news and we were walking up the aisle to me singing "Not Fair" by Lily Allen, badly. When the wedding was over I remember thinking "I don't even know my husband's phone number". I think its a taste of things to come.

I went to my sister's this weekend and we had a good time. I went there on the National Express and had a nice old lady sitting next to me who helped me STAB open my new earphones with her nail file.

My sis and I laughed alot as I told her of my recent nobbish-ness, ie: waking up and wondering where I was. We likened it to the time I had rudes with this guy who looked like "Pen" out of "Pen and Tellar"....At the time I swore you should never judge a book by its cover. BLOODY HELL. Ive got issues. He was U.G.L.Y

Any hoo till next time.

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first, sometimes the first thing you want never comes and I know that waiting is all you can do, sometimes.

YAY I'm back online in the comfort of my own home. My good friend Lee was kind enough to take me to PC WORLD! (You have to say PC World like the advert "PC WORLD!" or it doesn't count). Anyway he took me there on friday and both him and I are technophobes but luckily a geek helped me with my purchase. I got one of those DONGLE things. Its a stick which goes in my computer and it magics the Internet alive. It's great. Anyway no more having to listen to that yucky man in the Internet cafe hacking up oil and other debris from his lungs. Speaking of lungs I've half given up smoking. I've decided I've got to go on an Alan Carr workshop thing, the book just doesn't cut it for me so I'm going to book the course post haste. I've got one of those plastic thingys you suck and it tastes of nicotine. YUM. (It's disgusting.)

In other news, I've decided to give Internet dating another whirl because one of my mates is as well and I'm a sucker for peer pressure ("Go on Leanne, jump off this cliff, we all have!") It's so far very depressing. The men are average and LOVE THEMSELVES. One said "If I contact you, count yourself as lucky because I'm very fussy." SIGH! Bloody hell Barbara what a turn on. Oooh oooh! Please contact me, and then I too shall be lucky. I know I need to be acting like I'm more up for it but quite frankly I'm just a bit bored.

Despite the above I'm feeling pretty positive. Just booked to go to Edinburgh for a couple of nights. Lovely Caroline Mabey says I can share her bed which is ace and so I have already began to create my "must see" list. Huzzah. I've been going to Edinburgh every year since 2005. Every year I've gigged and this year DEFINITELY I will not. I hope there's the usual debauchery to witness....I'm pretty sure there will be. Talking of comedy and debauchery, the next Catface is booked for the 19th AUGUST and the acts are AMAZING. Barry Castagnola, Steve Williams (swoon) Jane Bostock, Christina Martin and a SPECIAL from Amphlett and Candy so get involved. You can book by going to the Catface Comedy facebook group.

I've much to look forward to and despite being caught up in this crunchy credit problem I find myself more busy without having a full time job. My days are filled with trips to the cinema, facials, manicures and pedicures and general socialising. I would recommend. (You just have to try not to worry about being homeless. Shimples!)

One thing I am EXCEPTIONALLY excited about is, I'm going to see A-Ha at the o2 in November. I can't wait. I booked my ticket (yes TICKET, not TICKETS) the other day. I thought long and hard as to whether to rope a mate into coming with me and I thought, ya know what? This is my dream, I don't want a mate with me who only knows two songs coming along to my dream concert, digging their heels in, when I have much staring at Morton to be doing. So I'm going on my own. I did a feature about this on my radio show on Sunday. There's a stigma attached to doing this sorta thing alone and I want to break it. I often go to restaurants (for lunch) on my own, and the waiter always looks dumbfounded when I say "table for one please." Yes you heard, ONE. And? So what? I went to see "The Hangover" on my own at the cinema on Tuesday last week it was ace. This me time thing, it's good. You should try it, it feels nice. Don't get me wrong I love seeing my friends but I'm ALWAYS out with someone so its nice to be in a social situation alone and if I'm honest a bit of a challenge at times. Try it, you might like it. (Leanne Diggins, so misunderstand) I LOVE IT.

Anyway, I downloaded this song the other day called "Don't Trust Me" by 3oh!3 and I liked the chorus that's why I got it. THEN, when I listened to it properly, there's a line in it that goes "Shush Girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and use your hips". What?! Helen Keller reference? WTF? Next there'll be a song about Christy Brown... Let's get some Joey Deacon action in while we're at it.

What else? Oh yeah, on Friday me and my friend went out in Greenwich and I got DRUNK. It was fun. Then on Saturday, another mate and I went out in Blackheath and all the girls were well pretty. DOH. I have to up my game. I can't compete with these youngsters. There was this group of females on a hen night and they were dressed as the Pink Ladies and they actually looked AMAZING. They had wet look leggings on and I felt like a frump. So we remedied that by coming back to my house for a disco. Good old Ghostbusters. I ain't afraid of no goat, we sang. *sigh*

I'm off to Bournemouth to see my sister tomorrow and Neff. Can't wait. Next week its some Majorca action which should help my flailing tan regain its orangey glow. Happy days.

Anyway that's it for now, I hope you're all good. I've been checking the statistics on here and I'm pleased to see my readership is on the rise so thank you and please, pass this onto anyone else who might be bored.

Till next time.

I don't have alot of money but we'll be fine.

So, I'm in an Internet cafe and the man that runs it is hacking up phlegm every five minutes. Disgusting. I haven't even got any music with me to drown out the noise, so will keep this blog brief.

Catface Comedy last week was bloody great. My mum and dad came and this made me exceptionally nervous but they seemed to enjoy it. (Especially when Johnny Candon decided to single them out and ask them lots of questions during his set). Thank you to Paul Foot, Josie Long, Johnny Candon, the Catface Comedy Erotic dancers and of course Louisa. Great show, great team. The next show is booked for the 19th August, Barry Castagnola is headlining. YAY! I'm still booking a couple of my other acts, but Christina Martin and Jane Bostock are on this line up as well.

On thursday night I went to this quiz night thing hosted by a company called GOLD. Tim Vine was the quiz master and Chortle were invited along to join in and I was on their team. The team consisted of Steve Bennett and 5 females, we had a great laugh - I actually did rather well, up until I became too drunk to speak - so that's good isn't it. I wowed the Chortle team with my knowledge of British seaside towns and also where Muriel (from Muriel's wedding) is from (Porpoise Spit). We came sixth but we beat The Times, and the Radio Times as well so we were happy. Or were we just drunk? I think probably just very, very drunk.

The next day I came to on my sofa with confusing thoughts (how did I get here? etc) but had to dash these from my mind, as I had a day booked in the studio to do a voice over showreel edit. I managed to battle through the hangover as we whittled 57 minutes of voice over and radio footage down to a neat 5 minutes. I got the masters for this today and intend to carpet bomb every voice-over agency and radio station in the entire world.

I was supposed to go to Madrid tomorrow but I've just come to book the flights and they're either non existent or ridiculously expensive. The thing is, I've got my euros and I want to go SOMEWHERE but where? The world's my oyster but its not really, is it. How about the Isle of Wight? I love it there.

Anyway - better do some more flight search-age.

Till next time - hope you're all good.

I'm only asking but ........I think you know. Come on, take me away.

WOWEE ZOWEE! I haven't written long time eh?

Soooooo I went to Ibiza and it ruled as usual. I love love love that island. The apartment I'm buying when I make my fortune still stands on the hillside and I spent much of my time gazing up at it from the comfort of my lilo in the sea. My friend Louisa shared my lust for the waves and many a time we took our place side by side on the neon pink lilo, putting the world to rights until the waves lovingly took us into shore where we became beached like two beautiful whales.

The weather was ace - almost too hot infact and my sweaty face didn't like it much nor did my makeup which slid off at every opportunity on a night out. I met some lovely lads out there which is unusual because on other holidays to the same destination we are restricted to the "Animation team" as being the only laddage around. This is slim pickings for people in the know.

I think because there were five of us (granted three were in relationships) this created a more agreeable pull for the lads. Not that this was the only reason we went out there, oh no. The main reason was for relaxation but of course any male attention is a bonus.

Unfortunately I don't have ANY chatting up skills and upon meeting one particular lad in San Miguel, I demonstrated this tenfold. Poor man. When we walked into the Irish Bar where this man worked, I saw him playing the violin on stage and I said to myself "be still my foolish heart, for I think I am in love". And the man looked up and I met his eye and he waved. After his set he came up to me and introduced himself as Rory. This man, this.....MAN, was THE most handsome man I've seen all year. Of course this showed in my face as the evil beads of sweat began to emerge at a great speed. Anyway, this first conversation went ok and we chatted for a while. As time went on throughout the night, obviously the beer flowed and I became less and less cool. When we next spoke I rambled on to him lots, ending up somehow showing him how to do the "robot". Even though I can't really do it myself. Rory obliged (ah I love the Irish) but inside I felt ridiculous. GOD.

I stayed out at this bar until around 6am, it was a brilliant night. Highlights for me include one point when a big group of us, male and female were chatting at the bar and all of a sudden Michael Jackson's classic "Bad" came on and without a word, all us 30-40 somethings moon-walked onto the dance floor, randomly shouting "OW". Ah beer you make us silly. Happy days.

The next day I was very very rough indeed but spent it sunbathing and eating which helped a great deal. During the week we did several bouts of Karaoke. Our favourite I think being "Gypsys Tramps and Theives" by Cher. At one particular evening in Santa Eulalia I met another nice guy who ran the karaoke. I think I wowed him with my rendition of "With or without you" by U2 where upon I spent alot of the track doing floor dancing.

My mate's and I were chatting about when we went to Aiya Napa one year and my pal Louisa met this bloke and had a full on holiday romance but he was from up North. She reminded me that when we got back from this holiday, one night when I was down the pub I rang her mobile and left her a voicemail which consisted of me singing along to The Divine Comedy's "National Express" classic and then I hung up. Indicating I suppose, that she'd be spending much time on board these coaches if she wanted to maintain the relationship. ARF! How rude of me, oh well, I was drunk is all I can say...

On returning from Ibiza I was happily met with no water in my flat or anyone else's in the whole apartment block. When I called the woman who deals with these situations, she said they were sending out bottled water 1 litre per household. I had visions of them air dropping these to us and I tried to make it clear that I'd done a massive wee wee in my toilet and this of course could not be flushed and 1 litre of water wouldn't cut it........... but to no avail. In the end I had to escape to my mum and dad's to have a nice cup of tea until the whole thing blew over.

Anyway - this is not all that's been happening but I have to go and get ready, for tonight it's Catface Comedy which has SOLD OUT and I have much to prepare.

I hope this blog finds you well and I'll try to write again tomorrow or Friday.

Till then.

I must become a lion hearted girl.

I haven't written for over a week, sorry about that but its been a week of weird-ness and I've actually had to do stuff like ya know, pack up my desk and do dubs and all that crap. Anyway, I'm here now aren't I?

Hmmm, just trying to think back to what I've been doing.... Ah yes, right so last Tuesday I met up with an old friend Gina from my TV Travel Shop days. We met in Moorgate, Banker central and we weren't disappointed. Well, we were. This bloke came over to us and was talking UTTER shit but his friend, his mate, erm, fuck what was his name again? Bloody hell I've got to start writing this more. Anyway his mate asked me out and took my number. He also told me he had a Porsche which I thought rather vulgar but at least he could drive. Anyway Mr Porsche didn't call me or text to follow up on the date. Shocking. Apparently this is a THING men do. They just wanna tot up the "digits" and then get some kind of MENTAL ego boost when a lady hands over her number. Whatever. He was Fugly anyway.

Wednesday I went to my friend and photographer Martin Hobby's studio to do a photo shoot. It was horrendous trying to look good. I had the worst hangover and teenage acne. Martin being my friend was pretty upfront with me, saying at times "Did you know you have a squint?" Erm.... ok.

We tried to do some "fun and playful" shots consisting of a cane and bowler hat and Martin wanted me to stick my fingers out towards him in a wizardy way. (his words, not mine) and every now and then whilst snapping away, he'd bark "More Wizard! More Wizard!" where upon I'd wiggle my fingers in what I hoped was a wizardy way. He's got this really nice kitten who's tiny and we tried a couple of cat in the hat shots but the kitten wasn't up for it. In the end we got some decent ones and Martin worked his magic. Gotta love that airbrush.

Which brings us up to Friday which was of course my leaving party. Oh what fun that was. Jeeeez I positively excelled myself on the Stella/Sambuca drinking. I tried not to cry but when I got my present which was ACE and did my speech, Niagara falls. I also leaped on a colleague of mine for some serious pashing (as the Ozzys say). Just sent him an apology email. Happy days.

It's my FINAL day at MTV tomorrow and I'll really, really miss my friends here they're wicked. Like I said in my speech friday, I've met some of the most interesting people I have ever met in my life. When I started at MTV I was engaged to be married, I had that life, the one I often moan I don't have now. But it consisted of working to live, going to work, coming home, getting up, going to work and so on. But since then and during the last few years, I've been in my own documentary on BBC1 and BBC3 which in turn got me into stand-up comedy which I did because I wanted to do radio, which I now do on Sunday's. I also run my comedy night Catface Comedy since 2006, its just madness, I'd never have envisaged this.... It's weird and I do feel that the people I've met at MTV (past and present) have had something to do with it. Nurture not nature is the key here.

Thank you so much, my lovely lovely friends. I'm so lucky to have met you, many of which I feel I'll know for life and the memories I have from here will stay with me forever. I'd also like to thank God... I kind of would, actually.



Anyway, Saturday I woke up on my sofa fully clothed and literally feeling like SHIT. I was properly ill - it was bad news. I had a BBQ to go to in the day and Lee was picking me up 2pm. He came to get me and I actually couldn't stand. When we got to the BBQ I hoovered up the buffet table with my mouth and felt marginally better.

Sunday I didn't do my radio show and in the afternoon went out in Greenwich with Katy. We've decided to get ourselves a local there where everybody knows our name.

This week I have one more day left at work and then Wednesday I'm meeting with a sound engineer to get my new Show Audio Reel up and running. It's gonna be ACE. Thursday I'm going to watch a band in Camden, and then Saturday or as I like to call it, CATurday, I'm off to Ibeefa. I cannot fucking wait. I bloody need this break and I need some sun and I need some time with my dearest friends.

Until next time.

There was a boy who lived inside his head...he couldn't face the world, so he turned his back instead.

YAY. I've just downloaded some great music for my radio show on Sunday morning. Golden Silvers, Little Boots, The Klaxons and LOTS MORE. If you get a chance log onto the show from 10am Sunday morning. www.sw1radio.co.uk it's gonna be a cracker.

This week's been busy busy busy. I've managed to tidy my desk with the help of my lovely team. They convinced me to chuck out the dried up banana so that's a good thing. I still managed to snaffle away some useless stuff, like a big foam pointy glove usually for people in the audience of Gladiators. Its great. I love pointing in it. Tuesday I met up with my friend Dave in Greenwich. He used to be my supervisor when I "worked" at TV Travel Shop. Had a bit of an overload on old TVTS friends lately, what's going on? Anyway - I met Dave and he came up with a fantastic plan. He casually dropped into conversation that he's considering buying a pub. He wants it to be a "venue pub" for music and comedy and all that but doesn't have experience in events. Well Dave! I know a girl who does! That's right ME. So this would be a great venture for both of us, alcohol AND music AND comedy. My favourite things.

So the next day I had to go to that agency. It was based in Ealing Common in a residential area, in a house. Anyway, I found the "red door" and knocked. It didn't actually have any agency sign outside or anything. I was meeting a lady called Simone. A man answered the door and ushered me in. He told me to wait in the living room and handed me a diversity form to fill in. I suddenly had a really bad thought that I might get murdered and that this so called ethnic diversity form was a ruse, as was the "Simone" pseudonym. I tried to work out how I'd get out so I hurriedly used my blackberry and emailed a couple of people my location and told them that if I wasn't out in an hour to call the police. I looked around for an exit and grabbed my keys ready to do some serious stabbing.

Suddenly Simone came and got me and led me to an office which had a pooter and phone and office supplies so all my murdering thoughts left me. It was a good meeting and she really helped me out. I'm crap at this kind of interview though, if there's silence I always have to fill it. That goes for relationships too. And when I fill the silence I always say something knobbish. Like with Simone. When we were discussing the places I would work (TV channels) she said "I get the impression that you wouldn't want to work at the BBC because its quite corporate etc." And I said "Yeah, I do really hate red tape and also, ya know, anal" (DOH) and she just looked at me so I had to fill the gap "Well, I don't actually hate anal....er ha ha ha ha....well, I do... it all depends....on er.... hahahah...er...." and then trailed off. It was like a bad dream.

So, still no leads jobwise. However, I went to see a tarot reader the other day and he told me some GREAT stuff. He said I would be with child within six months to a year and it would be a boy. And the child wouldn't have a father. (I bloody knew it....I am MARY MOTHER OF GOD) He also said that I have to start putting into practice the whole giving out what I want to get back. This is the Laws of Attraction thing and although I know the theory of this, it is a case of FEELING it as opposed to thinking it. He said I need to read the book "Excuse me, your life is waiting for you." I think I will. So it was ok really. The child bit isn't going to happen. End of.

Tonight I'm going to my team's leaving drinks in Camden :-( BOO and the day draws closer. Apparently there might be a lad there that I might like! I plan to act like a massive knob and say really stupid things. Fingers crossed eh? I'll update you monday to let you know if all goes to plan. *sigh*

And then, Lauren's coming over tomorrow and we're going to go through the new dance for Catface Comedy (15th JULY! The Betsey Trotwood, starring Barry Castagnola, Paul Foot, Josie Long and Michael Legge). Then on Sunday after the radio show I'm off to Covent Garden and we're rehearsing the dance in Pineapple Studios. I'm very intimidated. I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail and wear a cap like all those other dancey types. Also hope to see Evie and Matt for a quick coffee Sunday and a catch up. YAY! 15 days until Ibiza! YEAH! Blue Lagoons and Mr Cairo's karaoke club here I come.

Have a great weekend - till next time.

(don't forget to listen to me' show on Sunday 10-12pm)

Come on in. I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in. I've got to tell you in my loudest tones, that I started looking for a warning sign.

So I find myself at a crossroad. Which path to choose? The one where I hope everything works out? Or the one where I have to actually do stuff. I'd like it to be a little from column A and a little from column B please. I woke up this morning at 2:33am and sat around for about an hour and a half trying desperately not to worry about how much sleep I wasn't going to get or about the upcoming redundancy. There just are NO jobs. I'll take anything really. Bar work or ya know, bar work. Or doing what I do now, or bar work. The thing is, its hard to do a job search when one's not available for work until mid August owing to expeditions around Spain and lying in bed all day and.... Yeah. I should really pull my finger out of my arse. Why can't it all just go away and sort itself out? Like I have friends where it just kinda, works out. Can you go on the dole if you have a mortgage?

Check out my desk. I have to clear this mother in two weeks. (You might be able to see this blog on the computer screen - on closer inspection you cannot) Even I know that its a fucking state.

I need to get rid of all my crapola but I love it so. For example I have a banana on my desk that's shrunk and feels plastic and is lovely, but I have no use for it do I. Moan moan moan. I'm sorry - s'hard to be positive at the moment.

I'll tell you about my latest week instead - there might be something in there that won't depress you.
Hmmmm. Ah right. Yes, on thursday I went out with my mates James, Adrian and Paul to the pub with the best bar snacks IN THE WORLD. They have Scampi Fries, Cheesy Moments AND Pork Scratchings. I had an absolute feast. My mate Paul took a photo of me and I looked just like Lorraine out of The Apprentice. Really depressing. DOH.

Sorry I did it again. Actually everyone looked a bit weird in the photos. Here's one of me and James and he looks like he has a clear plastic bag over his face, so no-one's perfect.


Jason Byrne was in the pub (I'd never met him before) but he knew a couple of people I was with as they were Paramount Comedy people. He came over to us whilst I was mid-sentence about kids. And he goes "You've got kids?!" and I was like "No.... of course not." And he carried on talking for a bit and then when he walked off (and I don't know why I did this) I went "I haven't got kiiiids" like it was a sentence in the wind. (Kind of like on that Mighty Boosh when Howard says "My only friend is the wind" and then the wind goes "I haaatte yoooou." best line ever)

Anyway - Jason Byrne heard my wind sentence and he goes "yeah? well I have." And I was like, "Gooooood" still in wind mode. What a knob I am. Anyway when he went to go I tried to act all normal but I was pissed so it didn't work.

The next day it was friday and I was losing the will to live at my desk all day. Met my mate Rachel for a couple of beers in Camden and then went home. I felt quite empowered so decided to update my status on facebook as "Leanne Diggins is a bloody catch!" and this promoted two men on my facebook friends to "Drink and e-mail" me. So that was nice.

Saturday I went to Orpster to see my Nephew Alex. He seemed to be quite scared of me for the first fifteen minutes or so but soon he handed me a red brick so I knew all was forgiven. My mate Lee came and picked me up and we went to a beer garden in Green St Green - was pretty cool but I saw a load of old school friends who were all heavily pregnant and it made me feel totally UNpregnant. Then Lee dropped me home and my mate Melanie called me from the Isle of Wight fest to play "White Lies" down the phone to me which cheered me up alot. Then in the evening my neighbour Katy came over for some wine, she brought champagne and we had a good laugh.

Sunday was radio day as ever and this show I managed without getting a migraine. Also passed a big pile of VOM on the way to the station so that was excellent.

This week is a busy one for me, I'm out pretty much every night. Going to see Caroline Mabey's preview tonight. Feels like forever ago that we did Sandy Hole in Edinburgh. Then tomorrow I'm meeting up with my mate Dave in Greenwich and Wednesday I have to go to an AGENCY. I don't think it can be up to much cause they sent me an email asking if I was "OK with dogs" (they have one that randomly scampers about.) "Well sure, I love dogs but....." sigh.

Anyway - till next time.