Thursday, 19 February 2009

I still need you but, I don't want you now.

I forgot to mention Valentines day this weekend just gone, in my last blog. Last year I was all lonesome so was like, Valentine's Day this, Valentine's Day that... This year was not the same. Sure in the back of my mind I secretly hoped for a bunch of flowers or a shredder ( I really need one). But then I thought, well no-one knows my address so how can they surprise me with a bunch of flowers? (or a shredder)

Also, ALSO, as I went about my business on Saturday I noticed lots of red faced males walking around carrying bulbous balloons saying "I LOVE YOU!" on them. Also some men had one lone red rose (tight arses) they seemed to have red faces too (good). And I just thought, this is so contrived. I know I'm not the first person to say that but this year it seemed even more so than usual. I used to do a bit in my stand-up about Valentine's day. It referred to going out for the Valentine's day SET menu. Sat uncomfortably close to other couples who are pretty much being told to love each other. And they probably should have an obligatory fuck when they get home as well. (the joke was, when I go home I can choose to have a wank. OH HAR HAR HAR, HEE HEE HEE. oh....that's not funny.)

So when I've been in that position in restaurants with past beau's I couldn't help but look around at the couples squashed in near me and think God, this is so embarrassing.

The next day (sunday) on my way to the radio station I saw a massive bunch of flowers poking out the top of a tip. What a waste. Luckily a nearby tramp came and got them out when I went past, hopefully to give them a good home. What? Oh.

I've just been tagged in a load of wedding photos from January and I look like a right heffer in them, its really motivated me to get down the gym today. What a chore though.

I watched the Brits last night ALL THE WAY THROUGH. I never do that but I'm doing a big staying in thing recently to try to save money (save money = I'm SKINT). I thought James Corden and the other one were most un-agreeable. Spesh the other one. Whats his name? Gavin. Gavin out of Gavin and Stacey. Anyway this Gavin made me cringe lots. It was so weird and they're jokes were embarrassing. And why did Gavin get to present it anyway? All he knows how to do is read scripts - thats not the same as writing them. What about nice Ruth? (lady who writes Gavin and Stacey with James). Anyway - I liked Girls Aloud's performance and Kings of Leon and also Take That's although their miming was silly. Also, I fancy Brandon Flowers now.

So anyway, that's that. I should go to the gym now. COME ON LEANNE. Must...move...from



Insults said...

Valentines day can suck my bum in the least romantic way possible.

Anonymous said...

I know wot u mean about Time fm!The station im at tends 2b robotic too.Pain in the ass when u got no choice with musicage.Heres sumthin u might like!In google,type in PARTY BEN.Dont know if uv heard of him but if u havent,visit his website.The guy is a legend.He does MASH UPS & all free to download.Im a huge fan of his work.Take a butchers.Anyway have good show and day 2morrow.Joey x

Anonymous said...

P.s. If u visit PARTY BENS website,check out his mad remix of Beyonce "all the single ladies"!Its wicked!L8rs luv.Joey.