Friday, 25 September 2009

Her friends are so know how bad girls get.

I've not written in ages, I suppose like a diary there doesn't seem to be much point when one is feeling relatively jolly. Besides, it would be a pretty boring entry saying, "Dear diary, every things peachy keen". But, it's not really. The job thing is getting pretty silly now but I just got a call for an interview for next week for a job I really really want so we shall see eh?

In other news as you can probably guess every thing's going pretty cool with the boy. Of course we've had a couple of very minor issues which seem to involve exes and men and women (on both sides) but where we're both old we are a little more realistic in our discussions and thus have overcome these. I remember as a young puppy I used to fly into jealous rages over exes and other women not thinking for a minute that I may seem a complete and utter psycho. But as age has weathered me these rages remain at a bare minimum. A wise lady once told me "If you clip their wings, they will fly". And this is true. So smile sweetly and say don't worry and you will always win. Unless they're cheating and then FUCK THEM UP GOOD.

Right! I have been overdosing on Jeremy Kyle lately and it's not making me feel any better. Especially as I've watched so many now that I'm onto episodes where they don't have any actual guests and they're looking at past episodes and how they do the DNA tests. Imagine if you went to the Jeremy Kyle show to watch a good old argue and all you get when you arrive is a REVISIT show. GOD. How disappointing. However lets face it, the whole thing is really. Oh Jeremy Kyle you and your shouty mouth. And then it's time for Ricky Lake, Sally Jessy Raphael and Judge Judy. Life doesn't get much better than this.

Something else I've been watching is "What Katy did next". Like most, I am well over the Team Andre/Team Price debacle but this is good telly. The other day her veneer fell out on the way to a book signing and she got drunk at her friend's wedding and made a right knob of herself. Reality TV gold people. Sigh...

I watched Marley and Me last night with my boy and he had assured me I would like it and would cry. But the thing with me is, I hate films where they make you like the dog or robot (Johnny 5 is alive) and then the dog or robot dies. BUT, that Marley dog was REALLY irritating. I didn't like him one bit and was kinda glad when he died. Not really but I didn't cry and my boyfriend annoyingly kept looking at me when there was a sad bit. So I then felt really bad as my eyes were bone dry so I did a few sniffles for effect, again prompting him to whip his head round to look at me. So in the end I just went, "What? I'm not gonna cry." And then the film just ended and I thought "what was the point of that?" I mean, how did it do so well. Here's a good idea for a film, its about a dog and a perfect family. What a classic.

It was my birthday this week on wednesday and I turned 31. That day, I did lots of job search to keep myself occupied and was immediately reminded of my age change when I had to tick categories on some of the job applications because it seems, I'm now in the 31-35 category. This displeased me greatly.

Ha Jeremy Kyle just shouted at a guest "Well if you KNEW you could get someone pregnant why didn't you put something on the end of it!" And now I have Beyonce's "If you like her then why don't you put a ring on it" classic in my head, but using Jeremy's lyrics. I hope it goes soon.
Oh god now he's just said "Make sure you DO put something on the end of it!"

Tonight I have my birthday drinks which I'm greatly looking forward to and then I have a good friend's wedding to go to tomorrow so it should be a jolly weekend. Sorry this blog is patchy, I'll get back on it next week.

Till next time.

Monday, 7 September 2009

You say you've got to go home. Well at least there's someone there that you can talk to.....And you never have to face up to the night on your own.

Oh God this is relentless. Where are all the jobs? Stop saying, WE'RE in a recession, you're not and I bloody am. Oh well. I got a day's temping yesterday in Halstead which has a population of like ONE. It was a good day however and I got right into the swing of things. My boy's housemate has his own business and he needed someone to come in and progress the orders. Which means ringing people up and saying, "erm where's our order?? You promised you'd send it and you LIED. Where is it? I feel so violated." Well, not like that, but a bit like that. And I had to do answering of the phones too. Reminded me of TV Travel shop. "Good afternoon, TV Travel shop how can I help you?" Or as we hilariously liked to drop in... "How can I hump you?" Oh happy days. etc. (Obviously I didn't say that yesterday.) Just as well they weren't flying Airlingus.... "Yes Mrs Jones you'll be flying (cunni)LINGUS." What? I said Airlingus.... what did you think I said?" Oh we were tinkers in our hay day. What does hay day mean? I mean,where does it come from? My hay day. When I was made entirely out of HAY. Yes those were the days.

Last week I went to to MTV Belgium to record the voiceover for the TMF Awards. The day started off very silly. I woke up at 4:30am on my sofa fully clothed and had to get straight in the shower and off to the station. EVERYTHING was delayed, trains, the computer governed DLR and the tube. I arrived 5 minutes before the train was due to depart and as the eurostar is like an aeroplane that travels on land and under the sea I was too late. I then had to sit around for an hour and a half waiting for the next one.

When I finally boarded it, none other than BO JO (Boris Johnson) was on board too. When we arrived in Brussels the PAPs were out in force to greet BO JO and co. I had to get on another train to a distant town and I missed that so more waiting around. Luckily when I did get on the train there was a very sweet tiny puppy on board to keep me company. When I got to Belgium my ex colleagues Hanna and Petra were waiting for me. Lovely girls. Anyway we pretty much got straight down to the Voiceover. One of the descriptions of the script was to say the text in a "Bombastic" way. I tried my best to be like Shaggy but to no avail. It went remarkably well and we completed it in record time. I managed to get back for around 10:30pm and my boyf came over. He'd bought me this big plant/flower thing. And I didn't realise but it was a massive Orchid which requires love and attention. I will do my very very best.

At the weekend I was back on SW1 radio, so please make sure you listen this sunday 10am - 12pm. is the website to log onto and click LISTEN LIVE. And I will play you a songy! After this I met up with the boy and we went to a "Heavy Horse Show" in Shoreham, Kent. There were indeed very heavy horses there, possibly weighing about 100 stone each. Who knows? I was disappointed that their weights weren't disclosed. Also there was TOMBOLA and a birds of prey exhibition, and a smash the plates thing and everything. It was was not unlike a real life Vicar of Dibly. Strange but much fun.

This week's flown by and next week I really have to knuckle down as the teachers say. But oh I'm having so much fun being out of work. In two weeks its my birthday and I shall be 31 years of age. What about when people say "I'm 31 years YOUNG!" Oh hooo har har har! So very amusing. Yes anyway so I'll be 31. The year's flown by and I just called my mum up to check what day I'll be seeing her in my birthday week. I was going to let her know that on my actual birthday the boy's taking me out and on the friday I have a big knees up of birthday drinks. She goes, oh that's good as I'm out on your actual birthday but I presumed you wouldn't wanna see us that day anyway. I was like "Why did you presume that?" and she goes "Well you never see us on your birthday do you." Erm except LAST year mum. She was like" Yeah but last year was a bit of a funny one." "Do you mean because I was 30 mum?" And she goes "Well no, it was cause you were all on your own weren't you" ERM NO. I wasn't. I just didn't have a boyfriend.... like most year's. hahah. She makes me laugh. So yes, I'm very much looking forward to that. YAY 31. PRESSURE.
"What have you done with your life Leanne?"
"Alot thanks, inner monologue. "
"Oh, OK then, as you were."

Until next time.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

And God got me sewn.

So a bit of a whirlwind this last few days. I still don't have a job which is a BUMMER severely, however other good stuff's been happening of which I shall enlighten you in due course.

Work wise I've been asked to do the voiceover for the TMF Awards again. I did it last year and it was wicked. Mental infact. So tomorrow I'm Eurostar bound for Belgium to get recording in the VO booth. I'm the voice that booms over the stadium "Best new act international.... And the nominees are.... Jonas Brothers!" etc. Really looking forward to it and its a complete honour to be asked back. YEAH.

In other news, it turns out that I've met this man. This man, is infact THE man. Or so it would seem. Sorry lads but I'm now officially listed as "In a relationship" on FB (hahaha). He's wonderful, tickage of boxage is the deal here so life is sweet. And the mental thing is, it appears the feeling is mutual.
On a serious note, for me this is great news. After a turbulent time with men (where they haven't been especially nice to me, bordering on down right horrid) where infact I can honestly say I had lost my way, this one seems the opposite. It's a wonderful feeling and something I've been waiting for, for a long time. Ahhhhh...

Anyway, so this weekend I went to Dublin for the weekend with my mate Katy. It was WICKED. We did not stop laughing from start to finish. I met up with my mate Rob who I met in Australia last year. We spent a night in Sydney getting thrown out of pubs and casino's for around 12 hours. Happy days. To this day neither of us can confirm why this happened but it could well have been because of the alcohol we consumed. Dublin was very very expensive like double London prices but most were friendly. Other than the women. HA! The evils we got were very amusing. We could take the barging us out of the way for most of the night but after a while our London patience was wearing thin. We saw a band called "The Joshua Tree" which was obviously a tribute band to U2. Bono pulled me up on stage and I swayed around with him for a while like a dick head groupie. The girls didn't like that one. HAHA. Stupid knobs.

Rob took us to this wine bar which was in a seedy downstairs basement. It was so 80's. But it wasn't supposed to be 80's I don't think. It wasn't like Reflex night club or anything like that, it was actually like something out of "The Young Doctors" or it could have belonged to Wilmot Brown of Eastenders fame. Anyway this bloke came up to me and started to chat me up and when I saw it going in that direction I proudly exclamed that "I have a boyfriend". To which he said "Ok, just give me a little kiss." And gestured to his cheek. So I thought "you cheeky fucker". And went to him totally deadpan "Soz, can't. I've got a rash". (I was trying to think of impetigo but instead settled for simply "A rash") SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH. Still, it worked. He looked startled for a moment and then set his face to cool and sloped off.

We watched X Factor saturday for a couple of hours before going out on Saturday (Rock and Roll) and I loved loved loved the girl band "The Stunners" HAAHAAAA. Sorry but one was cross eyed. SURELY someone kind could have given them a gentle nudge "Mate, your eyes stare off in different directions" but no. That Danyl from last week was SUPER COOL. Total natural charisma WIN DANYL WIN!!!

Anyway, I'll leave you with some Dublin photos of us in the Wilmot Brown bar. Until next time.