What the EFF is going on with the weather. Stop raining you knob! It's annoying.
Well! What a crazy time it's been these last few weeks. Obviously I'll start with the riots. WHAT THE EFF!!? At the time when it was all kicking off I was genuinely concerned. Basically I live in the middle of Deptford and Lewisham and all around me, these two locations were being savaged by the savages. At one point when I could see black smoke billowing up from our bedroom window we considered making a a run for it. But then I thought what happens if they burnt the flat down whilst I was out and poor Colin the rabbit ended up deaded? So we decided to stay. This basically meant that I sat around watching Sky News until 1am. I couldn't sleep either cos every five minutes it felt like a police siren going past. Plus there were a few masked youths laughing and walking down Blackheath Road all happily and it made me scared. It felt like a war.
The next day the atmosphere in London was sombre. People were wondering what that next night would have in store for us. I decided to head to Orpington for refuge and my man would stay with Colin. I met my mum at Orpington station, most of the shops had closed and Tesco was just about to join them. We needed provisions though so it was necessary to rush in there. We needed Pork Pies, Quiche Lorraine, Sausage Rolls and White Wine. We managed to locate all of these essentials and zipped back to my Ma and Pa's.
And nothing happened. And there was I jogging round Tesco's like a mad man grabbing all the pastry'd items I could find when nowt actually came of it. It seemed the night before had been the clincher.
Someone posted on Youtube, some footage of the "Nugent" in Orpington being broken into. (the Nugent is a fairly new shopping development just outside of Orpington). As usual the Orpingtonian's made a right pigs ear of this. You can see many full facial shots of people laughing and running out of the "Game" store clutching computer consoles with gay abandon. They openly call each other by NAME as well. *sigh*....
Anyway as you will have seen, allot of these little shits have been arrested now. Plus that evil boy that mugged the lad who had a broken jaw (pretending to help him). I'm pleased to see that said boy has got loads of free stuff for his trouble. Doesn't make everything alright though, but it's a start.
SO! In other news, my bloody ankle is still giving me Jip. It turns out that I tore the ligament in my ankle by 60%! The lady says (physio lady) that it would have been better if I'd broken it. :-( BUMS. I am allowed to do swimming and Pilate's. Both forms of exercise I find super boring. Specially Pilate's. But apparently it's sposed to be extra good for you. In the run up to this exercise plan I have had to feed the pain with excessive food and excessive wine intake. I'm pleased to say that this objective is being met daily.
We went to Dorset for the weekend last week and I ate TWO large pork pies from Bridport farmers market and a massive steak each and much pate on warm crusty bread. Very nice. Dreading looking at the scales again (obviiously with me on them). My FINAL eating plan starts again on the 1st September. I've joined Virgin Active to give me an incentive. I didn't like Fitness first, there was always clumps of pubes on the shower floors. BLEE.
I get measured FINALLY for my wedding dress in Feb so I figure that gives me 4 months to get those last few pounds (stone) off. To be honest, the dress looks fine on now, its got an EXTRA sucky in basque in it. The wonders of BONE-ING. (snigger)
I just burped and where I've got head phones on I'm wondering if anyone heard me. I daren't look around just in case. Oh no. Embarrassing. (I'm at work)
Anyways, so yes, the latest in TV is of course BB and X factor. Big Brother I'm going off of quite quickly. Boring KERRY KATONA, BORING TARA REID, BORING BORING BORING.
HOWEVER I though X Factor was Xcellent this week. And isn't Gary Barlow gorgeous. I love him a bit. Also, If you watched it you'll know what I mean when I mention that cringey girl kitty, the one who sat on the stage. I literally got a watery mouth where I nearly puked at her behaviour. But as for the judges I think they did a MUCH better job certainly without Dani and Cheryl. I like their SPUNK.
And that's that. I hope you're all well.
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Don't crack up.... Bend your brain, see both sides, throw off your mental chains....
I GOT IT!
(Not my PERIOD in case you're an "Are you there God it's me Margaret" fan.)
No, I GOT IT! I got the DRESS. The wedding dress I mean. The one I will become a Mrs. WIFE in.
Well, this has been a long time coming cos I've been putting it off until I've shifted some more flabbage. But in the end someone convinced me to call up the Bridey shop and when I told them the date of my wedding she told me off for not coming in sooner! She told me that I was CUTTING IT FINE and that anything could happen in the 7 months until my wedding. She said "what happens if there's another ash cloud?" And I wasn't equipped to answer her on that one, so I made an appointment for Saturday just gone.
I explained to the lady that I was planning on losing more weight and I didn't see the point in coming in before now. She said there was "nothing of me". Er yeh. Right. So when I finally went in with my SPRAINED ankle and crutch (more on that later) I felt incredible apprehensive. She asked me to pick out three dresses I liked. But they all looked the SAME to me. By now I was feeling extra blue. Luckily my mate and Ma was there to help. Sam picked a few and I said they were OK so we went to try them on. Even though my face was GLUM.
At first I looked a bit like a sausage squashed into an incredibly tight space. These dresses were the WRONG size. The sucking in of the fat was good but then it had to go somewhere, and thus billowed over the dress in copious BACK FAT.
But THEN I tried on this dress that was very similar to all other generic wedding dresses and it looked GOOD. So I thought, well I don't want THIS dress cos all ladies have this one, but the shape is GOOOOOOD but more BLING please and more DETAIL etc. And then the lady brought out this dress and it was much more money than I wanted to spend and do you know? It fit. It bloody fit. So I ordered it. Phew.
I plan to lose 1.5 stone by the time I get it. EASY PEASY, now I've seen it. I've done 1.5 stone in total up to now so we're on our way baby!
(Oh God it's really happening. Bloody 'ell Barbara.)
Anyway, now onto other stuff. So, as I mentioned above I have cleverly sprained my ankle AGAIN. Honestly my ankles are PATHETIC. All spindly and sparrow like. One false move and WHOOPS there she goes, arse over tit. This particular injury was done at a BBQ last Saturday. I'd only been there half an hour or so, I tried to ignore the pain by drinking more Vodka (I'm on Atkins) but to no avail. It just got worse and worse and my ankle became fat and bloated. Warren had to carry me out to the car. Haha. Luckily the vodka did help to numb some of the pain but the next day, it bloody killed. And now my left foot is all green like Shrek. I look HOT. Also this limping lark is VERY boring indeed.
I've got back into my Itunes downloads again. I'm extra loving this song below. Bad quality clip but on Itunes it sounds MINT. Very good for when you feel blue, or if you're LIMPING:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY41o-iZStI
Have a listen.
In other news I'm going on this high powered speed boat ride on Sunday on the Thames. It was a treat for my dad's 60th. I dunno why he wants to do something so dangerous but I reluctantly agreed to go along. Warren's coming too, Mummy's watching. Anyway, apparently they have James Bond music accompanying you whilst you zoom along. Scary stuff. Will let you know if I survive.
Anyway I'm off for coffee with Princess Kitty. Off I go.
*whistling* (Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, no body's gonna slow me down oh no, I've got to keep on moving...)
(Not my PERIOD in case you're an "Are you there God it's me Margaret" fan.)
No, I GOT IT! I got the DRESS. The wedding dress I mean. The one I will become a Mrs. WIFE in.
Well, this has been a long time coming cos I've been putting it off until I've shifted some more flabbage. But in the end someone convinced me to call up the Bridey shop and when I told them the date of my wedding she told me off for not coming in sooner! She told me that I was CUTTING IT FINE and that anything could happen in the 7 months until my wedding. She said "what happens if there's another ash cloud?" And I wasn't equipped to answer her on that one, so I made an appointment for Saturday just gone.
I explained to the lady that I was planning on losing more weight and I didn't see the point in coming in before now. She said there was "nothing of me". Er yeh. Right. So when I finally went in with my SPRAINED ankle and crutch (more on that later) I felt incredible apprehensive. She asked me to pick out three dresses I liked. But they all looked the SAME to me. By now I was feeling extra blue. Luckily my mate and Ma was there to help. Sam picked a few and I said they were OK so we went to try them on. Even though my face was GLUM.
At first I looked a bit like a sausage squashed into an incredibly tight space. These dresses were the WRONG size. The sucking in of the fat was good but then it had to go somewhere, and thus billowed over the dress in copious BACK FAT.
But THEN I tried on this dress that was very similar to all other generic wedding dresses and it looked GOOD. So I thought, well I don't want THIS dress cos all ladies have this one, but the shape is GOOOOOOD but more BLING please and more DETAIL etc. And then the lady brought out this dress and it was much more money than I wanted to spend and do you know? It fit. It bloody fit. So I ordered it. Phew.
I plan to lose 1.5 stone by the time I get it. EASY PEASY, now I've seen it. I've done 1.5 stone in total up to now so we're on our way baby!
(Oh God it's really happening. Bloody 'ell Barbara.)
Anyway, now onto other stuff. So, as I mentioned above I have cleverly sprained my ankle AGAIN. Honestly my ankles are PATHETIC. All spindly and sparrow like. One false move and WHOOPS there she goes, arse over tit. This particular injury was done at a BBQ last Saturday. I'd only been there half an hour or so, I tried to ignore the pain by drinking more Vodka (I'm on Atkins) but to no avail. It just got worse and worse and my ankle became fat and bloated. Warren had to carry me out to the car. Haha. Luckily the vodka did help to numb some of the pain but the next day, it bloody killed. And now my left foot is all green like Shrek. I look HOT. Also this limping lark is VERY boring indeed.
I've got back into my Itunes downloads again. I'm extra loving this song below. Bad quality clip but on Itunes it sounds MINT. Very good for when you feel blue, or if you're LIMPING:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY41o-iZStI
Have a listen.
In other news I'm going on this high powered speed boat ride on Sunday on the Thames. It was a treat for my dad's 60th. I dunno why he wants to do something so dangerous but I reluctantly agreed to go along. Warren's coming too, Mummy's watching. Anyway, apparently they have James Bond music accompanying you whilst you zoom along. Scary stuff. Will let you know if I survive.
Anyway I'm off for coffee with Princess Kitty. Off I go.
*whistling* (Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, no body's gonna slow me down oh no, I've got to keep on moving...)
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
Don't trust your mind, it's not always listening...
I've just got back from my hols. It was ace and the weather was majorly hot. I'm pleased to report I got a tan and my bikini's weren't nearly as tight as I had envisaged. I ate loads of steak and drank gallons of wine.
Nothing very interesting happened though except a few scufuffles by the pool. Firstly I had hoped, that by going to the apartment in June meant there wouldn't be any kids being all annoying and loud like last year, disturbing my bathing experience. Twas not to be, for there were STILL kids there, these ones were from Germany. Now, as all who know me know, I love the German's being German myself. However these ones were annoying. This child kept insisting on going under water in the pool and then coming up and sputtering and spitting for air. Like proper spitting. Actually hacking up and spitting in the pool. Several times a minute. So myself, Louise, Jack and Warren spent much of our time trying to work out how we could approach the parent with this unhappy news so that they might berate the child and prevent it from flobbing in our mutual bath.
"Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but your child is spitting (make spitty noises in case they can't understand English) an awful lot (more spitty noises) and its gross (make puking noises)" Luckily we never had to talk to Mr and Mrs Spitty as they went home. Disgusting.
Anyway now back to business. I'm supposed to be playing Softball over Primrose Hill tonight after work on the side of MTV. We're playing Getty Images who do all photos of famous people. Last week MTV played Facebook and they thrashed us. HAHA. Apparently Getty Images are REALLY great and we don't stand a chance. Specially as we always take a crate of beer with us and are all drunk whilst batting and fielding. Plus we don't have any official uniforms. My friend actually played in her maxi dress last year. I've brought my MTV Talent Escort T-shirt in with me from when I was at the EMA's years ago escorting top magician Dynamo. (LIKE!)
But yeah so the reason I say SUPPOSED to be playing softball, is cos its pissing it down outside and we're STILL playing. No team wants to back down cos otherwise whoever says "we don't wanna play" loses the points. So instead we're going to hot foot it over to Chalk Farm/Primrose Hill, scrabble around in the mud, lose, and then have to come home. I can't even drink cos I'm on Atkins. I might bring a bottle of Gin with me.
In other news on Sky Anytime I have discovered the joy of JERSEY SHORE. It's SOOOO much better than skanky old Geordie Shore. The girls on that look like witches, I know, I've seen them close up. AND there hair is as knotty as it seems on telly.
If you've never seen Jersey Shore, it's about a bunch of American Italians staying in a place called Seaside which I think is near Jersey somewhere. Hang on how comes there's a beach? I thought Jersey was a City? Anyway it's really good with loads of fighting. I know I'm watching this quite late as it's already on series 2, but honestly get involved if you haven't already.
Hmmm not much more to report today, so till next time.
Nothing very interesting happened though except a few scufuffles by the pool. Firstly I had hoped, that by going to the apartment in June meant there wouldn't be any kids being all annoying and loud like last year, disturbing my bathing experience. Twas not to be, for there were STILL kids there, these ones were from Germany. Now, as all who know me know, I love the German's being German myself. However these ones were annoying. This child kept insisting on going under water in the pool and then coming up and sputtering and spitting for air. Like proper spitting. Actually hacking up and spitting in the pool. Several times a minute. So myself, Louise, Jack and Warren spent much of our time trying to work out how we could approach the parent with this unhappy news so that they might berate the child and prevent it from flobbing in our mutual bath.
"Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but your child is spitting (make spitty noises in case they can't understand English) an awful lot (more spitty noises) and its gross (make puking noises)" Luckily we never had to talk to Mr and Mrs Spitty as they went home. Disgusting.
Anyway now back to business. I'm supposed to be playing Softball over Primrose Hill tonight after work on the side of MTV. We're playing Getty Images who do all photos of famous people. Last week MTV played Facebook and they thrashed us. HAHA. Apparently Getty Images are REALLY great and we don't stand a chance. Specially as we always take a crate of beer with us and are all drunk whilst batting and fielding. Plus we don't have any official uniforms. My friend actually played in her maxi dress last year. I've brought my MTV Talent Escort T-shirt in with me from when I was at the EMA's years ago escorting top magician Dynamo. (LIKE!)
But yeah so the reason I say SUPPOSED to be playing softball, is cos its pissing it down outside and we're STILL playing. No team wants to back down cos otherwise whoever says "we don't wanna play" loses the points. So instead we're going to hot foot it over to Chalk Farm/Primrose Hill, scrabble around in the mud, lose, and then have to come home. I can't even drink cos I'm on Atkins. I might bring a bottle of Gin with me.
In other news on Sky Anytime I have discovered the joy of JERSEY SHORE. It's SOOOO much better than skanky old Geordie Shore. The girls on that look like witches, I know, I've seen them close up. AND there hair is as knotty as it seems on telly.
If you've never seen Jersey Shore, it's about a bunch of American Italians staying in a place called Seaside which I think is near Jersey somewhere. Hang on how comes there's a beach? I thought Jersey was a City? Anyway it's really good with loads of fighting. I know I'm watching this quite late as it's already on series 2, but honestly get involved if you haven't already.
Hmmm not much more to report today, so till next time.
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Wild horses couldn't drag me away...
Ah another beautiful day in Zamunda. (I would imagine). Here in the UK, not so good but at least it's not pissing it down like it has been the last few days! I always find a successful way to open a blog is by describing the weather.
Anyway, on with the info. Allot has been happening over the past few weeks. I fell off the diet wagon with a bump and landed in a big old portion of chips. It was brill. But now it's shortly my hols and I am YET AGAIN destined to be fatting about on the beach and by the pool. Oh well, it's personality that counts.
In other news I was the victim of CRIME in Oxford Street last week. I know, shocking dear reader, but wait until you read what happened. Set your face to stunned.
SO! I was walking along, minding my own business when suddenly I felt a hand on my RIGHT bosom. And the hand belonged to a WOMAN. And I was like, WHAT THE FUCK. I actually exclaimed that and she just went "sorry". Like it was no big deal.
So I was like "SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK!" and she looked at me all a bit bonkers like. Then whilst I was shouting quite loudly, cause I was so shocked, an equally scabby-ish looking man appeared to my left, a bit too close for comfort. SO I was like "What the fuck are YOU looking at?" Thanks to my naturally street-wise persona I knew he must be an accomplice of sorts. As I kept saying loudly to the woman, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!? She just kept looking at me all madly.
It was WELL WEIRD. I think they were trying to distract me by groping my bosom. I expect they wanted me to react like this: "Oooh that was nice, I'll just open my bag so you can swipe my purse!" I don't think so somehow.
In all seriousness it did shake me up a bit, but I ruffled my feathers (for I am a BIRD) and strode off to Wasabi where I got DOUBLE sushi as a reward to myself for being a brave soldier.
The other information I have, is that I have just bought a deep fat fryer from Amazon and I'm so excited. It's all James Martin from Saturday Kitchen's fault. He keeps making battered fish and SCRAPS. Tonight we're having steak and chips. DONE IN THE FRYER no less. So excited! Am I boring now? Yes.
I went round to my mate's house for her birthday the other day, it was just a "pop in" affair. So myself and Warren "popped in" only to discover we were in a creche situation. There were babies EVERYWHERE. No offence ladies but it's not my thing. I do like kids (my niece and nephew) but not when there are about 7 or 8 of them in one small room. It's too over whelming, I couldn't concentrate on my large glass of Sauvignon Blanc. I've decided that when I have a sprog I'm going to bear that in mind for my non-babied up friends. :-)
Anyway - might try to write again this week.
HOpe you're well!
Anyway, on with the info. Allot has been happening over the past few weeks. I fell off the diet wagon with a bump and landed in a big old portion of chips. It was brill. But now it's shortly my hols and I am YET AGAIN destined to be fatting about on the beach and by the pool. Oh well, it's personality that counts.
In other news I was the victim of CRIME in Oxford Street last week. I know, shocking dear reader, but wait until you read what happened. Set your face to stunned.
SO! I was walking along, minding my own business when suddenly I felt a hand on my RIGHT bosom. And the hand belonged to a WOMAN. And I was like, WHAT THE FUCK. I actually exclaimed that and she just went "sorry". Like it was no big deal.
So I was like "SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK!" and she looked at me all a bit bonkers like. Then whilst I was shouting quite loudly, cause I was so shocked, an equally scabby-ish looking man appeared to my left, a bit too close for comfort. SO I was like "What the fuck are YOU looking at?" Thanks to my naturally street-wise persona I knew he must be an accomplice of sorts. As I kept saying loudly to the woman, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!? She just kept looking at me all madly.
It was WELL WEIRD. I think they were trying to distract me by groping my bosom. I expect they wanted me to react like this: "Oooh that was nice, I'll just open my bag so you can swipe my purse!" I don't think so somehow.
In all seriousness it did shake me up a bit, but I ruffled my feathers (for I am a BIRD) and strode off to Wasabi where I got DOUBLE sushi as a reward to myself for being a brave soldier.
The other information I have, is that I have just bought a deep fat fryer from Amazon and I'm so excited. It's all James Martin from Saturday Kitchen's fault. He keeps making battered fish and SCRAPS. Tonight we're having steak and chips. DONE IN THE FRYER no less. So excited! Am I boring now? Yes.
I went round to my mate's house for her birthday the other day, it was just a "pop in" affair. So myself and Warren "popped in" only to discover we were in a creche situation. There were babies EVERYWHERE. No offence ladies but it's not my thing. I do like kids (my niece and nephew) but not when there are about 7 or 8 of them in one small room. It's too over whelming, I couldn't concentrate on my large glass of Sauvignon Blanc. I've decided that when I have a sprog I'm going to bear that in mind for my non-babied up friends. :-)
Anyway - might try to write again this week.
HOpe you're well!
Friday, 27 May 2011
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven?
YEAH! The honeymoon is booked and confirmed. We're going to AUSTRALIA! My favourite place in the whole wide world. We're both so excited, in fact where as before I felt a bit non-plussed about the wedding I'm now PROPERLY into it. Time has flown so quickly I know it's gonna be here before I know it.
The other day my good pal Princess Kitty was organising my Hen do, and there was an email flying around saying "Leanne's Hen Do". LEANNE's HEN DO? What, me? Scary, I'm having an actual Hen do. I honestly didn't think I would get to this stage and it all feels a bit like a dream. Not a dream come true, just a dream. Etta James's "At Last" goes through my mind often though 'cause I got me a good man and I'm not taking any of this for granted. Believe me.
Anyway now onto life in general. I got my teeth whitened on Wednesday at the dentist. They used this big old laser and a funny teeth exposure shield thing. I looked most unattractive. It was well uncomfortable and in the process it seems to have burnt off a bit of my gums - Haha! Oh well, they look a ton better which is the main thing.
I watched that AWFUL Chelsea programme the other day. The reality soap thing. I know I'm not on my own here when I say, what a pile of steaming shit that was! They've all got really awful names. One of the women on it is called Cagoule or something. Another one is called something like "Blinky". Fucking hell. What's that all about. It's not even car crash TV, don't bother to watch it if you haven't already.
TOWIE it is not. I love that programme. My boyfriend is always saying "Oh God, not The Only Way is Essex, turn it over" but he doesn't "get" it. He doesn't understand it's just a bit of light entertainment. He thinks everything on TV should MEAN something. Like Deadliest Catch. He's always watching that and I think it's EFFING boring. Once you've seen one, you've seen em all. Who cares that they are catching massive crabs? Who cares that the sea is really cold? Who cares that they have to be awake for like 34 hours? SNORE.
And finally if you haven't seen it already, you have to watch Geordie Shore on MTV. It's so bad, it's good.
I'm going out for a meal tonight with my mates to discuss Hen plans and other stuff. I plan to eat a mixed grill - I love meat! Then Sunday we have people over for dinner. I can't drink any red wine though which is annoying, 'case it seeps into all the microscopic holes in my teethy pegs.
And it's back to the gym for me on MOnday. I caught sight of the back end of me in a Dorothy Perkin's changing room today and it was not a pretty sight. I desperately need a tan, I look all corn beefy. Meh.
And that's that! Have a loverly weekend all.
The other day my good pal Princess Kitty was organising my Hen do, and there was an email flying around saying "Leanne's Hen Do". LEANNE's HEN DO? What, me? Scary, I'm having an actual Hen do. I honestly didn't think I would get to this stage and it all feels a bit like a dream. Not a dream come true, just a dream. Etta James's "At Last" goes through my mind often though 'cause I got me a good man and I'm not taking any of this for granted. Believe me.
Anyway now onto life in general. I got my teeth whitened on Wednesday at the dentist. They used this big old laser and a funny teeth exposure shield thing. I looked most unattractive. It was well uncomfortable and in the process it seems to have burnt off a bit of my gums - Haha! Oh well, they look a ton better which is the main thing.
I watched that AWFUL Chelsea programme the other day. The reality soap thing. I know I'm not on my own here when I say, what a pile of steaming shit that was! They've all got really awful names. One of the women on it is called Cagoule or something. Another one is called something like "Blinky". Fucking hell. What's that all about. It's not even car crash TV, don't bother to watch it if you haven't already.
TOWIE it is not. I love that programme. My boyfriend is always saying "Oh God, not The Only Way is Essex, turn it over" but he doesn't "get" it. He doesn't understand it's just a bit of light entertainment. He thinks everything on TV should MEAN something. Like Deadliest Catch. He's always watching that and I think it's EFFING boring. Once you've seen one, you've seen em all. Who cares that they are catching massive crabs? Who cares that the sea is really cold? Who cares that they have to be awake for like 34 hours? SNORE.
And finally if you haven't seen it already, you have to watch Geordie Shore on MTV. It's so bad, it's good.
I'm going out for a meal tonight with my mates to discuss Hen plans and other stuff. I plan to eat a mixed grill - I love meat! Then Sunday we have people over for dinner. I can't drink any red wine though which is annoying, 'case it seeps into all the microscopic holes in my teethy pegs.
And it's back to the gym for me on MOnday. I caught sight of the back end of me in a Dorothy Perkin's changing room today and it was not a pretty sight. I desperately need a tan, I look all corn beefy. Meh.
And that's that! Have a loverly weekend all.
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
And we don't speak, so we're left in constant silence...and it's haunting me
Good morning! Here are some things that are making me glad at the moment. Firstly, The Apprentice is back. For my avid readers you will know that this equals HAPPINESS for me. So far I have been overjoyed with this quote "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon." HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant!
I'm preferring the objective they are striving for in this series as well. Alan Sugar gives them 250 grand towards a business. At least then he's not stuck with a wanker employee. Good plan Lord Alan Sugar.
Another factor making me glad currently is the weather, aren't we lucky! It's been great of late and always makes me feel jolly. Does mean however I will have to start to expose my pale lily legs and also shave but its a small sacrifice to make to ensure that passers by aren't scarred by the sight of my legs.
The leg shaving thing came to my attention at Boot Camp a couple of weeks back. I had a strain and my instructor was stretching my leg and he gripped round my leg and it was all stubbly and furry. He must have been able to feel it. I have been shaving since that incident and onwards. I don't see the point when they're not exposed. Well not regularly anyway!
I have actually left Boot Camp now. The reason for this was down to the fact that I couldn't attend a session owing to a severe leg infection and they STILL wanted to charge me ten pounds. Which I thought was outrageous.
I was very ill! Two weeks previous a mozzy or something had bitten my ankle. As usual a bump appeared, and as usual I gave it a good scratching. However, this bite seemed to continue to itch way longer than usual. And then one night I woke up to such extreme itching I felt I wanted to cut my foot off. The next day my ankle had blown up to twice its size with a large RED rash thing that seemed to be spreading up my leg and was boiling hot and throbbing.
I went to the emergency doctor and they said it was infected and if it got any bigger I would have to go to A&E to get put on an intravenous drip! Luckily I caught it in time and antibiotics were sufficient taken orally. And the smelly old Boot Camp wanted to charge me for my absence. How greedy. So I have sacked them off. That'll teach you BOOT CAMP. Now I will go back to being all slovenly and flabby. How do you like that?!! What? Oh.
So yes I realise that I therefore have to keep up some kind of personal fitness plan as I am far too proud to return to Boot Camp now (Damn you PRIDE!) after sending them a very strong worded email stating how unfair I thought the whole thing was.
Luckily I have continued the diet part of my quest for gorgeousness. I have now lost (since the beginning of the year) one stone. YAY. Only two to go. God, it's gonna take ages. And my mates are saying I should have had a dress fitting by now as it takes 10 months to get a dress sorted for a wedding. That is BULLSHIT if you ask me. Why does it take that many months to get a dress? RIDICK!!! And no, I am not going to a Bridal shop to try on WHITE dresses at this size. No way jose'.
In other parts of my quest to get gorgeous, I'm having my teeth whitened tomorrow. I'm told I shall be in excruciating pain but I think it's worth it if I can smile with confidence and people don't think they're having a conversation with Baldrick when talking to me.
Anyway - will write proper soon. Hope you're all well.
I'm preferring the objective they are striving for in this series as well. Alan Sugar gives them 250 grand towards a business. At least then he's not stuck with a wanker employee. Good plan Lord Alan Sugar.
Another factor making me glad currently is the weather, aren't we lucky! It's been great of late and always makes me feel jolly. Does mean however I will have to start to expose my pale lily legs and also shave but its a small sacrifice to make to ensure that passers by aren't scarred by the sight of my legs.
The leg shaving thing came to my attention at Boot Camp a couple of weeks back. I had a strain and my instructor was stretching my leg and he gripped round my leg and it was all stubbly and furry. He must have been able to feel it. I have been shaving since that incident and onwards. I don't see the point when they're not exposed. Well not regularly anyway!
I have actually left Boot Camp now. The reason for this was down to the fact that I couldn't attend a session owing to a severe leg infection and they STILL wanted to charge me ten pounds. Which I thought was outrageous.
I was very ill! Two weeks previous a mozzy or something had bitten my ankle. As usual a bump appeared, and as usual I gave it a good scratching. However, this bite seemed to continue to itch way longer than usual. And then one night I woke up to such extreme itching I felt I wanted to cut my foot off. The next day my ankle had blown up to twice its size with a large RED rash thing that seemed to be spreading up my leg and was boiling hot and throbbing.
I went to the emergency doctor and they said it was infected and if it got any bigger I would have to go to A&E to get put on an intravenous drip! Luckily I caught it in time and antibiotics were sufficient taken orally. And the smelly old Boot Camp wanted to charge me for my absence. How greedy. So I have sacked them off. That'll teach you BOOT CAMP. Now I will go back to being all slovenly and flabby. How do you like that?!! What? Oh.
So yes I realise that I therefore have to keep up some kind of personal fitness plan as I am far too proud to return to Boot Camp now (Damn you PRIDE!) after sending them a very strong worded email stating how unfair I thought the whole thing was.
Luckily I have continued the diet part of my quest for gorgeousness. I have now lost (since the beginning of the year) one stone. YAY. Only two to go. God, it's gonna take ages. And my mates are saying I should have had a dress fitting by now as it takes 10 months to get a dress sorted for a wedding. That is BULLSHIT if you ask me. Why does it take that many months to get a dress? RIDICK!!! And no, I am not going to a Bridal shop to try on WHITE dresses at this size. No way jose'.
In other parts of my quest to get gorgeous, I'm having my teeth whitened tomorrow. I'm told I shall be in excruciating pain but I think it's worth it if I can smile with confidence and people don't think they're having a conversation with Baldrick when talking to me.
Anyway - will write proper soon. Hope you're all well.
Sunday, 24 April 2011
I guess there's just no way of knowing....
Happy Easter one and all. I hope you all got lots of eggs blah blah blah. I don't like chocolate much so not really gonna write much about it. Except, don't you think flake chocolate tastes a bit like its gone off?
So do you remember every film you've watched at the cinema? I don't mean do you remember all of the titles of the films. I mean that if you were watching it on TV you'd remember you'd seen it at the cinema. You don't need to remember the full plot, but that you had seen it at some point before.
Well, I was flicking through an old diary the other day from 1996 and I read this:
"10th June 1996
Last night we went to the cinema and on the way we ran over a cat and it was horrible. ---- found it funny though which really pissed me off. He goes, I spose if it had been a dog I would have been a bit upset, and I go, well I'm a cat lover and I think you should have some consideration for me! He then shut up. when we got to the cinema we watched "Now and Then" which was quite a good film although ---- was the only boy in the whole cinema, ha ha."
So I was like, what is this "Now and Then" film? I have NO recollection of ever having seen it. Then yesterday I was flicking through the Sky movie channels and it was on TCM. So I watched it from the start and I couldn't remember ANY of it. Not one bit rang a bell. And it was appalling. It starred, Christina Ricci, Demi Moore (pre surgery), Rosie O Donnell and Melanie Grffiths (post surgery, obviously). And I can't get over how NONE of it rang any bells. None at all.
Oh well. Did you like my excerpt from my diary? The cat bit was awful. I remember that well, I cried my eyes out. There had been a family cycling along on the path by the road and a cat was trotting along near them. Then the young son knocked the cat on his bike and it spooked the cat so it shot into the road and under our car. It ran off over the fence but I didn't hold out much hope for it. Very sad and still makes me feel bloody awful. Thankfully that's the only time that has ever happened.
"8th June 96
It's ----'s birthday tomorrow, I got him a CD, underwear and a top. If he doesn't like it then tough shit because it took me ages to decide exactly what to buy and in River Island I kept going into a cold sweat when buying the underwear and then this bloke came over and started to ask me if I had a phone number his mate could have. I told him I was going out with someone and he goes, that's what they all say."
Ah thems were the days when I used to get asked out randomly in the street!
Anyway onto other stuff. I still attend Boot Camp every Saturday morning and this week's was particularly difficult owing to the heat. It has emerged that I have no upper body strength so I need to start doing press ups in my free time. Like some kind of MAN. When we got onto the stomach exercises I found this extra painful and ended up just flapping about like a beached whale. Suddenly I glanced up and there was WARREN come to pick me up watching me with a smirk on his face. I was so embarrassed. But luckily my face was already bright red so blushes were spared.
I've got the whole week off this week YAY! I can't wait. I'm going to sort out our bedroom. It's a right mess and I'm sick of telling visitors that we're in the middle of decorating, when really it's just a massive shit hole. I'm also going to spend the week surveying the my building's post boxes. Of late it's been noted that there is THIEF who regularly comes to my block's boxes and has a rifle through and steals our MAIL! I couldn't believe it. Then one of my neighbours hear the letter boxes a'clattering and had a look out of his window at 1am in the morning only to see a BURGLAR going through all our boxes. He seemed to have a key to each one. So my neighbour took photos of this and in one snap, the burglar is IN MY POST BOX! What a fucking cheek! I feel violated. So I'm on a stake out this week. We are campaigning to get the post boxes moved into the building. What an EFFING chore that's turning out to be as well. BORING ALERT!!
Hmmm not much else to report cept I put on 4lbs in fat last week. I'm not taking this wedding dress thing very seriously am I. Oh well.
Til next time.
So do you remember every film you've watched at the cinema? I don't mean do you remember all of the titles of the films. I mean that if you were watching it on TV you'd remember you'd seen it at the cinema. You don't need to remember the full plot, but that you had seen it at some point before.
Well, I was flicking through an old diary the other day from 1996 and I read this:
"10th June 1996
Last night we went to the cinema and on the way we ran over a cat and it was horrible. ---- found it funny though which really pissed me off. He goes, I spose if it had been a dog I would have been a bit upset, and I go, well I'm a cat lover and I think you should have some consideration for me! He then shut up. when we got to the cinema we watched "Now and Then" which was quite a good film although ---- was the only boy in the whole cinema, ha ha."
So I was like, what is this "Now and Then" film? I have NO recollection of ever having seen it. Then yesterday I was flicking through the Sky movie channels and it was on TCM. So I watched it from the start and I couldn't remember ANY of it. Not one bit rang a bell. And it was appalling. It starred, Christina Ricci, Demi Moore (pre surgery), Rosie O Donnell and Melanie Grffiths (post surgery, obviously). And I can't get over how NONE of it rang any bells. None at all.
Oh well. Did you like my excerpt from my diary? The cat bit was awful. I remember that well, I cried my eyes out. There had been a family cycling along on the path by the road and a cat was trotting along near them. Then the young son knocked the cat on his bike and it spooked the cat so it shot into the road and under our car. It ran off over the fence but I didn't hold out much hope for it. Very sad and still makes me feel bloody awful. Thankfully that's the only time that has ever happened.
"8th June 96
It's ----'s birthday tomorrow, I got him a CD, underwear and a top. If he doesn't like it then tough shit because it took me ages to decide exactly what to buy and in River Island I kept going into a cold sweat when buying the underwear and then this bloke came over and started to ask me if I had a phone number his mate could have. I told him I was going out with someone and he goes, that's what they all say."
Ah thems were the days when I used to get asked out randomly in the street!
Anyway onto other stuff. I still attend Boot Camp every Saturday morning and this week's was particularly difficult owing to the heat. It has emerged that I have no upper body strength so I need to start doing press ups in my free time. Like some kind of MAN. When we got onto the stomach exercises I found this extra painful and ended up just flapping about like a beached whale. Suddenly I glanced up and there was WARREN come to pick me up watching me with a smirk on his face. I was so embarrassed. But luckily my face was already bright red so blushes were spared.
I've got the whole week off this week YAY! I can't wait. I'm going to sort out our bedroom. It's a right mess and I'm sick of telling visitors that we're in the middle of decorating, when really it's just a massive shit hole. I'm also going to spend the week surveying the my building's post boxes. Of late it's been noted that there is THIEF who regularly comes to my block's boxes and has a rifle through and steals our MAIL! I couldn't believe it. Then one of my neighbours hear the letter boxes a'clattering and had a look out of his window at 1am in the morning only to see a BURGLAR going through all our boxes. He seemed to have a key to each one. So my neighbour took photos of this and in one snap, the burglar is IN MY POST BOX! What a fucking cheek! I feel violated. So I'm on a stake out this week. We are campaigning to get the post boxes moved into the building. What an EFFING chore that's turning out to be as well. BORING ALERT!!
Hmmm not much else to report cept I put on 4lbs in fat last week. I'm not taking this wedding dress thing very seriously am I. Oh well.
Til next time.
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