Is she really everywhere or a reflection?

My face feels like its cracking. Last night I slathered on the fake tan and now I smell like biscuits. That oughta impress 'im tonight eh. I woke up this morning and parts of the fake tan had stuck to the dry patches on my face creating a leopard print effect almost prompting me to call in sick. After much scrubbing, my face is flawless and hurty. Exactly the effect I was going for.

I am actually going to EAT DEMON (the internet *cough* provider). For many months now I have been trying to get Internet at my house to no avail. The light on the Modem (ADSL one), flashes intermittently and everything in the world SUX. Last night I spoke to a man at the Tech support team (I really have to psyche myself up to call them these days) and he told me to download "drivers" from the speedtouch connection site because of error message 1024. What the hell is he talking about? I said that to him "What the hell are you talking about? I don't even know what a driver is." And then he said I need to download onto my memory stick a 32 bit one and 64 bit one. I think I've found the 64bit one, but I can't see the driver that is 32 bit. He said I need to try both. Can you see it looking at this link? www.speedtouch.co.uk/330.asp please have a look and tell me. I can't see it. I want to cry.

At the moment I am reading two books. Steve Martin's "Born Standing Up" which I was dubious about but is actually a good read and isn't all back slappy about stand-up and thus I don't feel like one of those loser (never gonna make it) Stand-Up's who no-one liked at school thus they want to be famous to be accepted in life. Its actually very good. I like the bits about hypocondria best. I'm also looking at Belle De Jour but this is really for erotica purposes. Its a bit samey after a while.

So I've had my results from the ECHO (echo) and I am FINE. Damn this anxiety. One of the symptoms of Anxiety and I quote is "Fear of impending doom". This is very true. You feel extra stupid explaining to friends/family that you think you might die, but people who suffer from anxiety often fully believe this. Even as I type this I think, well when I die my ghost will haunt you and say "I told you so." Completely irrational but a very real feeling.

I really have to be more tolerant of people. There's a lady on my DLR who I call "coughy lady" cause all she does is cough. But not because she has to, its obviously just a tourettes thing or something. Its sounds like she's clearing her throat (all the time). Anyway, I avoid her at all costs but today I didn't get on the first two trains cause they were too busy and then I waited for a third and it was empty and I went to get on and then "coughy lady" ran on and I was trapped.

I met a boy on the bus today who works at my work who looks like "Little Den" of Eastenders fame. He was so manly he just had a T-shirt on and its FREEZING. We walked to work together from Kentish Town (cause Camden is SHUT!) and I felt all embarrassed cause he was so 'Little Den' like.

I've been reading a very decent blog lately called "Home for tea". Please see the link to your right.

Bye!