tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20145806323116842862024-03-05T14:58:43.866-08:00Leanne DigginsLeanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.comBlogger184125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-81019538065201826232013-03-18T10:03:00.000-07:002013-03-18T10:03:59.717-07:00I wait with good intentions...How are yoooou? It's been so long right? This isn't really a blog anymore is it, no. Oh well.<br />
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Here are my latest findings. I watched a programme on Sunday night called "The Lady that Vanished" or something. And it had so much potential. But then it didn't and I was left disappointed. There are several areas in which I would have changed that programme sitting in the comfort of my armchair as my far arse spread further and further. But it's too late, they didn't ask me.<br />
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And THAT ladies and gentleman is what this year's blog is partially about. Opinions. Now, opinions are fine, but not ones that seem to envelope all else that exists. I'll give you an example. Football. So, if there is a big football match you get all sorts of strange shouty men screaming about what "we" should have done in order to get more goals. As if their mottled, alcohol/faggy shouty breath is the home of the "answer" to everyone's prayers and therefore, if only they'd been asked their opinions, their "team" would have won. It's such a nuisance to read these conversations on Twitter and Facebook.<br />
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Oh yeah I'm on Twitter now, drop the dead donkey, that's right. I still don't find it very easy on the eye but I'm getting much more used to it now. At times it becomes a little irritating if I happen to be watching something on TV that certain comedians are also watching and therefore they are providing (even though they were not asked) a running commentary of their opinions of the show for us all to receive, with presumably hilarious consequences.<br />
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What I do like though, is if I tweet an author I like, then she tweets me back. That makes me feel all great. Some of the items I've seen on twitter are so vicious, I once got called a "fat lover" because I follow Gemma Collins of TOWIE fame. Not sure what a fat lover does, but apparently that's what I am. What a meanie. I decided to block him and that was the end of that. Clever stuff eh.<br />
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Anyway - in other news life is going OK at this end. Still loving my "hubby" haw haw haw. That word "hubby" exists on my "list". My list of cringy words. Sits alongside the likes of Titties and Panties. It's right at home there, they're best friends and almost married.<br />
<br />Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-71356039710917041362012-07-17T08:21:00.000-07:002012-07-17T08:25:28.709-07:00The world is spinnin' endlessly, we're clinging to our own beliefs (born of frustration, born of frustration)Here come the Olympics! (And don't I know it.)<br />
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I'm based in Greenwich (sorry, that's ROYAL Greenwich to you) and it's pandemonium! (What a great word that is) <br />
Bo Jo (our mayor) has recorded a load of announcements which are played at regular intervals at train stations in London. "This is your MAYOR SPEAKING! The games are on their way and public transport is going to become increasingly busy so <strong>DON'T GET CAUGHT OUT</strong>!" Wow that last bit makes me jump every time. Also, it's weird to have someone say, "This is your mayor speaking" Makes me feel like I live somewhere like Gotham City where the mayor really<em> is</em> in charge. Well, Batman is, but you know what I mean.<br />
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But yes, it's just around the corner and it's rather exciting. Although, I am genuinely dreading the commute into work. We've been told that we can work flexible hours which for me is a must. All of my routes into town are f*cked. (Recognised as HOTSPOTS to the Londoner in the know.) Today I got the train in at 7:20am - this was the sight at Bank underground station. Needless to say I shall be avoiding this from now on.<br />
Granted it's rather blurred but I was in a mosh pit so that's as good as it gets.<br />
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So I thought we'd try to get away from the Olympics by heading down to Dorset for a couple of weekends during this period. We're going to our friend's cottage for one weekend and then to see my sister in Bournemouth on another one. BUT I hear that the Olympics are also going to be in Dorset! Boats or something? In Weymouth. (which I thought was called Waynemouth - haha I actually googled that). My boss said to me, going down to Dorset in the Olympics, are you wise? Hahaha. No, I'm not wise - I'm not wise at all. <br />
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The good thing about Dorset is that there's a Farmers market at Bridgeport (I think that's what its called) where they do pork-pies and all that stuff - so I shall make sure I am up early to ensure I have my fill. Also the W.I. bizarre do a mean home made piccalilli which is amazing. Makes my eyes water but still I go back for more.<br />
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As I see all of these "fit" people preparing for the greatest experience of their lives (reminder: Olympics) it makes me wonder why I am so chunky? (see above - pork pie) Honestly though, the flab is on the increase. I'm actually at my top fighting weight now. Not good hey.. So after a day of troughing on Sunday I decided to face facts. I can no longer get away with saying I am curvy. I'm a chubber and that's a fact. <br />
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So now that these facts are faced I have been to the gym TWICE this week which is a good thing. I have also quit the wine and beer so that should help somewhat. That's been two weeks though and not made a difference yet. I think this is because I have substituted wine for Tangfastics from Haribo. They're great.<br />
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In other news I've been watching quite a bit of Bear Grylls on Discovery. I do like this show but I can't really get my head around why he puts himself into such scrapes. I mean, I get he is trying to show us how to survive should we find ourselves in a similar situation etc. But some of the stunts he pulls are just plain unnecessary. Just the other day he was in a light aircraft flying over some land, when he decided to tie his scarf or something onto the aircraft and scrape to the floor as a means to exit the flight. Why didn't he just wait for the plane to land and get off with the rest of the camera crew. It baffles me. I like it when he eats disgusting stuff though. And when he gets in dead animal's bodies. <br />
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Oh yeah I was going to go into a bit more detail about the wedding wasn't I. Well, I can't be bothered now cos it was ages ago and I'm over it. Ha.<br />
It's weird when people call me Mrs. Snow as it makes me feel like an old lady - but it also makes me sound wise.... which as mentioned above, I'm not. <br />
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Anyway - I hope you're all really well. Enjoy the Olympics. x<br />
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<br />Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-17452814503658957962012-05-09T04:11:00.001-07:002012-05-09T04:11:05.404-07:00It's like I told you honey.....Don't make me sad, don't make me cry...<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The feeling after you get married I've been told by many, is that of major surrealism. This is true and also with my hangover, that didn't help.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That following day (after the wedding) we went for a meal in Blackheath which was gorgeous. We ate a full platter of steak and more champagne. Which actually, I don't really like. Champagne I mean. I like prosecco. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh well that's neither here nor there. The next day (the sunday) we were heading off to Australia. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For four years (since last going) I have dreamt of Australia intermittently. I loved it last time and was so keen for Warren to see it too. This would be our only chance. So we booked a lovely trip which included, Singapore, Adelaide, Brisbane, Byron Bay and Sydney. There, that oughta do it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We headed off to Singapore on the Sunday evening from Heathrow on a Qantas flight. The duration of this journey was 12 and a half hours. Christ - very depressing. Luckily there was 'nuff in flight entertainment. Plus, wine. That's the beauty of long haul flights. Free wine. As we were on a night flight I decided that if I drank x3 187ml bottles of Shiraz that would see me a kip for a good three hours. But unfortunately this was not to be. I ended up being the ONLY one awake - well that's how it felt. I was very jealous of all those peacefully drifting about in Dreamland whilst I re-watched Louis Theroux's weird weekends. (Once you've seen the first 5 mins, you get the jist. But more on Louis later) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think I MAY have nodded off but who knows, the whole thing was a bit of a blur.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we arrived in sweltering Singapore we had a car picking us up. We looked like we'd been on a sweaty safari and felt extremely grubby getting into the posh Jaguar with suited chauffeur and smooooth jaaaaazzzz playing throughout the journey back to the hotel. We decided to get a nice hotel for this part of the 'moon, the Shang-ri La beach resort with fantastic suite and panoramic room. (you can sit in the bath and see EVERYTHING). The first night we decided to head straight for the bar within the hotel complex and not bother to get dressed up. So I whipped off my anti-deep vein thrombosis socks and we headed out. (Glam times).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think the jet lag effected me more than I realised as before I knew it I was rather drunk and mistaking another bar go-er for the waitress and asking her to go and get me an ashtray. Embarrassing. Bit like when people go into a shop and ask a fellow customer for help mistaking them for a sales assistant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eventually we fell asleep but were soon wide awake again at 5am where upon we were STARVING hungry and decided to get room service. A burger and chips each. (glam) When this came, it was just like in the movies where they bring it up on a trolley and this magically turns into a table. As you can see I am easily pleased.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The rest of our time in Singapore was lovely and relaxing. Unfortunately on my wedding day I was rather over enthusiastic on the dance floor and managed to re-hurt my ankle, so much of Singapore was spent limping about. We managed to see Anne and John for one evening, they took us to a gorgeous Asian restaurant which was amazing. Very kind of them it was too. Warren and I ended up staying out that night and getting DWUNK and running in a fountain (this was to be a theme it turns out).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After two full days and night's of relaxation it was time to head off to Adelaide. I was SO excited and it was just 7 short hours away.... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To be continued....</span><br />
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<br />Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-40594105439120265142012-05-04T08:59:00.001-07:002012-05-04T08:59:18.968-07:00It's you, it's you, it's all for you....everything I do...<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, I'm married. Shocking I know when you consider that this blog started like a journal not dissimilar to a common version of Bridget Jones. I've not written for a time as before the wedding I was majorly stressing. It occupied my every thought. Well, most of them anyway. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My bridesmaids stayed over at my Ma and Pa's house with me the night before the big day and I was jolly glad that they were there. We meant to share a bottle of wine between 4, but ended up sharing 4 bottles of wine between 3. (as there was only three of us). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Needless to say the night was quite drunken but we had a bloody good laugh ending with me sleeping in my old single bed which I'd had since I was eight years old. It felt quite fitting to be back in that old (wooden) bed. End of an era and all that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next morning I felt OK but had to go to the hairdressers on my own as my stupid hair wouldn't go all curly without the aid of an old lady big head hair dryer thing. By the time I was done there I was a quivering MESS. Panicking so much that I wouldn't be home in time for the makeup artist. When I did eventually get back I had to use the potty double quick. Sorry but its true. At which point my husband to be had his brother deliver me a beautiful Tiffany Bracelet to say how much he loved me etc. Obviously owing to the above, I couldn't get to the door to retrieve it. Oh well, the thought was there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I needed to pull myself together so after a few deep breaths and my mantra thought, "What would Kate Middleton do in this situation?" I decided that a blubbering, large red faced, Bride, was most unbecoming. A glass of champagne soon put me right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All too soon the black cab was at the door but by now I decided to treat the whole wedding like one of my comedy shows. As in treat it like a play. It's not real, go with the flow. By now all of the Bridesmaids and my mother had left to go to the venue and it was just me and my Pa left. At this stage I started to rattle off a large list of products I would need to accompany me to the venue, ie: hairspray etc. Bless him, he would trot off upstairs (I couldn't get upstairs as my dress was too boofy) to try to get me the item requested and return with random jars and potions which were totally irrelevant. (He reminded me of a lovely doggie. Go get the bone! Go get the bone! *Comes trotting back with a coat hanger.*) Ah I love him I do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aaaaanyway we got to the venue eventually and I needed a large glass of wine to calm my nerves. Which I had. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We got married soon after this and it really was a lovely ceremony. Leon did a reading and my friend Evie sang an opera song. Warren (my husband) was a bit emotional but it showed he loves me very much. Or he was regretting being there and wished he could run away. Well too late now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The rest of the day went incredibly well, the weather was AMAZING. Blaring hot sunshine, it was like a proper summers day. I found the bit when we had to photos quite boring - often declaring angrily after copius clicks of his camera "Right, you've got your shot" </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> (Like Jordan) but the photographer saw the funny side. I think.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During the meal Warren and I had decided that as a present to my niece and nephew we would give them one of those 4 foot blow up remote controlled sharks that appear to "swim" through the air. The shark came into the dining room during the thank-you's and then continued to "swim" around throughout. Unfortunately during a particularly moving part of Warren's speech the shark decided to obscure the videographer's lense and there it remained for it's entirety.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The evening party was extra jolly indeed. We had a dance off of course which was basically pure carnage and at this point the evening no longer looked like a wedding reception. But hell, I was too happy to care. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">At the end of the evening I'm told I took hold of the DJ's Microphone and exclaimed how happy I was that everyone had come, that they'd been a great audience and what a fantastic show. Of course, this meant, it was time to go to bed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Really, really was a great day and I felt very lucky and happy indeed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Next installment - the honeymoon. :-)</span><br />
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<br />Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-26421260429466948392012-01-04T02:36:00.000-08:002012-01-04T02:55:18.232-08:00Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away....<span style="font-family:verdana;">WELL! What a bloody wash out<em> that</em> Christmas was. So Christmas Eve there was I, merrily watching my usual "Scrooged" film feat: Bill Murray and troughing my usual quantities of food and wine. When all of a sudden as I was about to go to bed, I started to get a tummy ache. I shrugged it off as too much food and went to sleep. All of a sudden at about 1am, I was awoken by that horrid griping feeling, known as the dreaded sickness bug. MAH! Both ends as well. So that was Xmas day out for me. I was supposed to cook Nigella's turkey recipe for seven people as well. BAH. Rubbish. However, every cloud I suppose, it meant I didn't eat vats and vats of food, and vats and vats of wine. That can only be good news no?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I got some great presents though which was cool, won't bore you with the details or as SOME people KEEP putting on Facebook when listing great stuff that's happening to them, "Bliss".... OMG! SHUT UP!</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">EG: "Kids in bed, logs on the fire, chestnuts a roasting, jack frost nipping at my nose and just opened up a bottle of wine for me and my hubby....Bliss." </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">SHHUUUUT UUUPPP!!! </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I had a really nice Christmas break though in spite of the obvious. Went to see my nephew and niece which was lovely, in Bournemouth. Ah! Alex is so sweet... He fell over and hurt himself and as he was finishing crying, he goes "Mummy, I feel really sad..." Ahhhh. Poor Palex. Bless them both.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I also managed to do more outstanding wedding stuff. It's turning into much of a chore now, almost like homework. This latest task was the dreaded table plan. We've had all of our replies in now, and ones we haven't received we are presuming aren't coming. The table plan was a PALAVA and a half but eventually completed it. Also sorted out the "tasting" at the venue. We are taking mama and papa to help us gobble up the food. Guests get a choice of three dishes, which I find quite hassly. But apparently not everyone likes Beef. Dunno why. Its yummy.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">In other news, if I were to try my wedding dress on now, it would actually be too small. Ha! So the plan to lose weight hasn't worked yet! But I'm not ruling it out as have embarked on the latest diet craze, "17 day diet" which worked a whole 10lbs for my sister and 1 stone for my brother in law. I am on day 2 currently and so far so good. I know when I look back at all my blogs this is how they ALL start off at this time of year. But THIS TIME if I don't do it, I shall be a pudgy bride. I cannot bear it. I simply cannot.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I will keep you updated with my progress.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Till next time.</span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-57873961172972901082011-11-18T06:09:00.000-08:002011-11-18T07:11:59.959-08:00You turn around and life's passed you by. You look to ones you love and ask them why? You look to those you love to justify...<span style="font-family:verdana;">G'day! Yay it's nearly CATurday. My favourite day of the week.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Have you seen the John Lewis advert where the little boy is counting down to Christmas Day as he can't (apparently) wait to give his Mum and Dad a present from John Lewis? </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Well, I'll agree it's rather sweet and he has a rather nice smiling cherub face. But the facts are these. No way could he afford to shop in John Lewis, nor would he have been able to go there without his parents to accompany him. Maybe his Nan went with him. But that doesn't explain the cash flow issue. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I myself at his age was receiving a mere 50 pence a week pocket money. With that I would go to the shops down my road (before Thundercats started) to buy Happy Shopper lemonade or cola, some penny sweets (which really <em>WERE</em> a penny, as opposed to these days... honestly I went to the cinema the other week and bought some Pick n Mix and I was disgusted to find that a few fizzy strawbs and shoe laces came in at a whopping £3.41!) </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Then my friend Julia would come and knock for me and we'd guzzle our hoard in front of Snarf , Liono and the gang.... Then the following Saturday (which was the only day I was allowed sweeties) we'd do the same again. John Lewis? My arse.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I remember I could make my pocket money up to more by doing chores. So if I did the washing up I'd get 40 pence mid week (per washing up) and 70 pence for Sunday washing up. And once, I managed to save £3.20 which I was going to buy my mum a birthday present with. I was so pleased I'd managed to save it all up. I went down the high street with my mate Cheryl and somehow, managed to lose my purse. I was distraught, we searched everywhere and eventually found my purse, empty of it's contents. I ran around bawling for a bit and finally went to Iceland (in those day's knows as BEJAMS) and found my sister who used to have a Saturday job there. And through snot and tears explained my predicament. She took pity and stole £3.20 out the till to give to me. (I think it was also to get rid of me, for I suspect I was making a scene:-))</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Bless me and my poorness. When I was 14 I got a Saturday job in Curtess shoes which was in the corner of Peacocks (very depressing) and I used to do 10am - 2pm for £2.43 per hour. Then I could buy as many Happy Shopper cola's as I liked. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I do think it important that kids get Saturday jobs early on because it prepares them for later life in the work place. In all seriousness I can usually tell people that haven't worked until after Uni/A-levels even at a part time level. It's quite obvious in fact. Therefore it shall be compulsory that my child does a few hours a week part time when they're 16. (I think that's the earliest kids can work these days).</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Right, so I've read this back and I sound like an OLD LADY. What the EFF. I've changed. The other day, me and Warren were at a dinner party at our friend's in Wandsworth and we were remarking on our heating and congratulating ourselves on the fact we've not had our's on this year so far. WTF?! Bloody Ell Barbara.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I saw my friend Evie on Wednesday and stayed at her house in Archway. We had a very good laugh but too much wine and too much Youtube. Drinking and Youtube is not a good idea for it never ends. As soon as you watch one, you remember another and another and another and so on... This one is my favourite at the mo...</span><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ</span></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">(Happy Birthday to the GROUND!)</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Anyway - lunch over - have a lovely weekend y'all.</span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-51144637210235134982011-11-15T02:18:00.000-08:002011-11-15T06:21:35.260-08:00Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison, take me, tttake me....<span style="font-family:verdana;">SO! Long time no type! Lots has been happening and as the wedding looms I feel rushed off my feet.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">The most recent event I can recall is attending the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">EMA's</span> as a talent escort last weekend. I ended up looking after Selena Gomez, band, backing vocalists and dancers. It was hard work and my feet were killing me. I saw the following celebs, Lady Gaga, Chris Martin, Queen, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Snooki</span> and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">JWOW</span> (a highlight for me, I love Jersey Shore), Jessie J, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars and quite a few more. Some of course I didn't recognise being an old lady. Like <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">LMFAO</span> (is that the right acronym?). They do that "shuffling" song where they do the running man in unison. It's all very clever. The whole experience was really cool - but way too much being on my poor old feets!</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Thus ,me and my mate Trish quickly realised, that we were "too old for this shit." </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">In other less interesting news we have completed and await our wedding invites. Now, this part of the process was the biggest CHORE for me. In the end I got this amazing task (surprise surprise) and I have to say it was an ordeal. In the end, I copied and pasted all wording from pretty much all of the invites I've ever received up to date. Sorry but <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">WTF</span>. BORING ALERT.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Warren and I have had a few bickers over who does what for the wedding. In other words I'm thinking of the stuff to do and then doing it, and he is doing the stuff I think of for him to do. He's like, "I <em>am</em> helping just tell me what to do?!" And I'm like "why can't you think of it for yourself? For example how does the CAKE magic itself there Warren? How? How?!" Ahem. "And how do the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">fu</span>*king bows get magically on the back of the chairs?! EH?!" </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Bless him really. It's more of a woman's job I'm afraid to say and we're nearly there but not quite. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I watched "I'm a celebrity" last night and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">BLEUGH</span>. Freddie Star makes me feel sick. Generally. Also why did Iceland advertise food that replicates anus's <em>after</em> <em>that</em> task? Don't they get that the public will now associate a prawn ball with a turkey's ACTUAL bollock? Fuck that was an over sight and a half. They should have just had Stacey <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">soloman</span> shimmering about in disco mode during the break. Then we could just go back to associating camel's toes with her in general as opposed to their food which as I understand it, is there BREAD AND BUTTER.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">This weekend just gone Warren and I decided to go for a weekend away to a quaint little village in Kent, that's haunted. Actual Yvette Fielding (of Sea view in the 80's) has been there and everything. We didn't see a thing but I was still too scared to get up in the night and go to the toilet. Instead waiting until Warren awoke and then I scuttled in straight after him. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Talking of Yvette Fielding and the 80's. My mum and dad have just recovered a load of annuals from the 80's namely GIRL and JACKIE. I had a good old read of these and they're well blunt. Their diet tips are harsh. Writing stuff like "to avoid being a fatty"... <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">haha</span> I recommend.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Right just a quick one today.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Till next time.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-49164515528841206422011-08-23T05:27:00.000-07:002011-08-23T06:05:03.209-07:00Did I dream you dreamed about me.<span style="font-family:verdana;">What the <strong>EFF</strong> is going on with the weather. Stop raining you knob! It's annoying.
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<br />Well! What a crazy time it's been these last few weeks. Obviously I'll start with the riots. WHAT THE EFF!!? At the time when it was all kicking off I was genuinely concerned. Basically I live in the middle of Deptford and Lewisham and all around me, these two locations were being savaged by the savages. At one point when I could see black smoke billowing up from our bedroom window we considered making a a run for it. But then I thought what happens if they burnt the flat down whilst I was out and poor Colin the rabbit ended up deaded? So we decided to stay. This basically meant that I sat around watching Sky News until 1am. I couldn't sleep either cos every five minutes it felt like a police siren going past. Plus there were a few masked youths laughing and walking down Blackheath Road all happily and it made me scared. It felt like a war.
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<br />The next day the atmosphere in London was sombre. People were wondering what that next night would have in store for us. I decided to head to Orpington for refuge and my man would stay with Colin. I met my mum at Orpington station, most of the shops had closed and Tesco was just about to join them. We needed provisions though so it was necessary to rush in there. We needed Pork Pies, Quiche Lorraine, Sausage Rolls and White Wine. We managed to locate all of these essentials and zipped back to my Ma and Pa's.
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<br />And nothing happened. And there was I jogging round Tesco's like a mad man grabbing all the pastry'd items I could find when nowt actually came of it. It seemed the night before had been the clincher.
<br />Someone posted on Youtube, some footage of the "Nugent" in Orpington being broken into. (the Nugent is a fairly new shopping development just outside of Orpington). As usual the Orpingtonian's made a right pigs ear of this. You can see many full facial shots of people laughing and running out of the "Game" store clutching computer consoles with gay abandon. They openly call each other by NAME as well. *sigh*....
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<br />Anyway as you will have seen, allot of these little shits have been arrested now. Plus that evil boy that mugged the lad who had a broken jaw (pretending to help him). I'm pleased to see that said boy has got loads of free stuff for his trouble. Doesn't make everything alright though, but it's a start.
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<br />SO! In other news, my bloody ankle is still giving me Jip. It turns out that I tore the ligament in my ankle by 60%! The lady says (physio lady) that it would have been better if I'd broken it. :-( BUMS. I am allowed to do swimming and Pilate's. Both forms of exercise I find super boring. Specially Pilate's. But apparently it's sposed to be extra good for you. In the run up to this exercise plan I have had to feed the pain with excessive food and excessive wine intake. I'm pleased to say that this objective is being met daily.
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<br />We went to Dorset for the weekend last week and I ate TWO large pork pies from Bridport farmers market and a massive steak each and much pate on warm crusty bread. Very nice. Dreading looking at the scales again (obviiously with me on them). My FINAL eating plan starts again on the 1st September. I've joined Virgin Active to give me an incentive. I didn't like Fitness first, there was always clumps of pubes on the shower floors. BLEE.
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<br />I get measured FINALLY for my wedding dress in Feb so I figure that gives me 4 months to get those last few pounds (stone) off. To be honest, the dress looks fine on now, its got an EXTRA sucky in basque in it. The wonders of BONE-ING. (snigger)
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<br />I just burped and where I've got head phones on I'm wondering if anyone heard me. I daren't look around just in case. Oh no. Embarrassing. (I'm at work)
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<br />Anyways, so yes, the latest in TV is of course BB and X factor. Big Brother I'm going off of quite quickly. Boring KERRY KATONA, BORING TARA REID, BORING BORING BORING.
<br />HOWEVER I though X Factor was <strong>X</strong>cellent this week. And isn't Gary Barlow gorgeous. I love him a bit. Also, If you watched it you'll know what I mean when I mention that cringey girl kitty, the one who sat on the stage. I literally got a watery mouth where I nearly puked at her behaviour. But as for the judges I think they did a MUCH better job certainly without Dani and Cheryl. I like their SPUNK.
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<br />And that's that. I hope you're all well.
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<br />Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-48510582906297122862011-07-19T04:07:00.000-07:002011-07-19T05:34:27.770-07:00Don't crack up.... Bend your brain, see both sides, throw off your mental chains....I GOT IT! <br /><br />(Not my <em>PERIOD</em> in case you're an "Are you there God it's me Margaret" fan.) <br /><br />No, I GOT IT! I got the DRESS. The wedding dress I mean. The one I will become a Mrs. WIFE in. <br /><br />Well, this has been a long time coming cos I've been putting it off until I've shifted some more flabbage. But in the end someone convinced me to call up the Bridey shop and when I told them the date of my wedding she told me off for not coming in sooner! She told me that I was CUTTING IT FINE and that anything could happen in the 7 months until my wedding. She said "what happens if there's another ash cloud?" And I wasn't equipped to answer her on that one, so I made an appointment for Saturday just gone.<br /><br />I explained to the lady that I was planning on losing more weight and I didn't see the point in coming in before now. She said there was "nothing of me". Er yeh. Right. So when I finally went in with my SPRAINED ankle and crutch (more on that later) I felt incredible apprehensive. She asked me to pick out three dresses I liked. But they all looked the SAME to me. By now I was feeling extra blue. Luckily my mate and Ma was there to help. Sam picked a few and I said they were OK so we went to try them on. Even though my face was GLUM.<br /><br />At first I looked a bit like a sausage squashed into an incredibly tight space. These dresses were the WRONG size. The sucking in of the fat was good but then it had to go somewhere, and thus billowed over the dress in copious BACK FAT. <br /><br />But THEN I tried on this dress that was very similar to <em>all</em> other generic wedding dresses and it looked GOOD. So I thought, well I don't want THIS dress cos all ladies have this one, but the shape is GOOOOOOD but more BLING please and more DETAIL etc. And then the lady brought out this dress and it was much more money than I wanted to spend and do you know? It fit. It bloody fit. So I ordered it. Phew. <br />I plan to lose 1.5 stone by the time I get it. EASY PEASY, now I've seen it. I've done 1.5 stone in total up to now so we're on our way baby!<br />(Oh God it's really happening. Bloody 'ell Barbara.)<br /><br />Anyway, now onto other stuff. So, as I mentioned above I have cleverly sprained my ankle AGAIN. Honestly my ankles are PATHETIC. All spindly and sparrow like. One false move and WHOOPS there she goes, arse over tit. This particular injury was done at a BBQ last Saturday. I'd only been there half an hour or so, I tried to ignore the pain by drinking more Vodka (I'm on Atkins) but to no avail. It just got worse and worse and my ankle became fat and bloated. Warren had to carry me out to the car. Haha. Luckily the vodka did help to numb some of the pain but the next day, it bloody killed. And now my left foot is all green like Shrek. I look HOT. Also this limping lark is VERY boring indeed. <br /><br />I've got back into my Itunes downloads again. I'm extra loving this song below. Bad quality clip but on Itunes it sounds MINT. Very good for when you feel blue, or if you're LIMPING:<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY41o-iZStI<br /><br /><br />Have a listen.<br /><br />In other news I'm going on this high powered speed boat ride on Sunday on the Thames. It was a treat for my dad's 60th. I dunno why he wants to do something so dangerous but I reluctantly agreed to go along. Warren's coming too, Mummy's watching. Anyway, apparently they have James Bond music accompanying you whilst you zoom along. Scary stuff. Will let you know if I survive.<br /><br />Anyway I'm off for coffee with Princess Kitty. Off I go.<br /><em><strong><br />*whistling* (Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, no body's gonna slow me down oh no, I've got to keep on moving...)</strong></em>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-17956408655758836092011-07-06T03:19:00.000-07:002011-07-07T08:37:39.051-07:00Don't trust your mind, it's not always listening...I've just got back from my hols. It was ace and the weather was majorly hot. I'm pleased to report I got a tan and my bikini's weren't nearly as tight as I had envisaged. I ate loads of steak and drank gallons of wine. <br /><br />Nothing very interesting happened though except a few scufuffles by the pool. Firstly I had hoped, that by going to the apartment in June meant there wouldn't be any kids being all annoying and loud like last year, disturbing my bathing experience. Twas not to be, for there were STILL kids there, these ones were from Germany. Now, as all who know me know, I love the German's being German myself. However these ones were annoying. This child kept insisting on going under water in the pool and then coming up and sputtering and spitting for air. Like proper spitting. Actually hacking up and spitting in the pool. Several times a minute. So myself, Louise, Jack and Warren spent much of our time trying to work out how we could approach the parent with this unhappy news so that they might berate the child and prevent it from flobbing in our mutual bath.<br /><br />"Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but your child is spitting (make spitty noises in case they can't understand English) an awful lot (more spitty noises) and its gross (make puking noises)" Luckily we never had to talk to Mr and Mrs Spitty as they went home. Disgusting. <br /><br />Anyway now back to business. I'm supposed to be playing Softball over Primrose Hill tonight after work on the side of MTV. We're playing Getty Images who do all photos of famous people. Last week MTV played Facebook and they thrashed us. HAHA. Apparently Getty Images are REALLY great and we don't stand a chance. Specially as we always take a crate of beer with us and are all drunk whilst batting and fielding. Plus we don't have any official uniforms. My friend actually played in her maxi dress last year. I've brought my MTV Talent Escort T-shirt in with me from when I was at the EMA's years ago escorting top magician Dynamo. (LIKE!) <br /><br />But yeah so the reason I say SUPPOSED to be playing softball, is cos its pissing it down outside and we're STILL playing. No team wants to back down cos otherwise whoever says "we don't wanna play" loses the points. So instead we're going to hot foot it over to Chalk Farm/Primrose Hill, scrabble around in the mud, lose, and then have to come home. I can't even drink cos I'm on Atkins. I might bring a bottle of Gin with me.<br /><br />In other news on Sky Anytime I have discovered the joy of JERSEY SHORE. It's SOOOO much better than skanky old Geordie Shore. The girls on <em>that </em>look like witches, I know, I've seen them close up. AND there hair is as knotty as it seems on telly. <br /><br />If you've never seen Jersey Shore, it's about a bunch of American Italians staying in a place called Seaside which I think is near Jersey somewhere. Hang on how comes there's a beach? I thought Jersey was a City? Anyway it's really good with loads of fighting. I know I'm watching this quite late as it's already on series 2, but honestly get involved if you haven't already.<br /><br />Hmmm not much more to report today, so till next time.Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-22315134055969259292011-06-14T01:08:00.000-07:002011-06-14T01:33:51.196-07:00Wild horses couldn't drag me away...Ah another beautiful day in Zamunda. (I would imagine). Here in the UK, not so good but at least it's not pissing it down like it has been the last few days! I always find a successful way to open a blog is by describing the weather.<br /><br />Anyway, on with the info. Allot has been happening over the past few weeks. I fell off the diet wagon with a bump and landed in a big old portion of chips. It was brill. But now it's shortly my hols and I am YET AGAIN destined to be fatting about on the beach and by the pool. Oh well, it's personality that counts.<br /><br />In other news I was the victim of CRIME in Oxford Street last week. I know, shocking dear reader, but wait until you read what happened. Set your face to stunned.<br />SO! I was walking along, minding my own business when suddenly I felt a hand on my RIGHT bosom. And the hand belonged to a WOMAN. And I was like, WHAT THE <em>FUCK</em>. I actually exclaimed that and she just went "sorry". Like it was no big deal. <br /><br />So I was like "<em><strong>SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK</strong></em>!" and she looked at me all a bit bonkers like. Then whilst I was shouting quite loudly, cause I was so shocked, an equally scabby-ish looking man appeared to my left, a bit too close for comfort. SO I was like "What the fuck are <em>YOU</em> looking at?" Thanks to my naturally street-wise persona I knew he must be an accomplice of sorts. As I kept saying loudly to the woman, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!? She just kept looking at me all madly. <br /><br />It was WELL WEIRD. I think they were trying to distract me by groping my bosom. I expect they wanted me to react like this: "Oooh that was nice, I'll just open my bag so you can swipe my purse!" I don't think so somehow.<br /><br />In all seriousness it did shake me up a bit, but I ruffled my feathers (for I am a BIRD) and strode off to Wasabi where I got DOUBLE sushi as a reward to myself for being a brave soldier.<br /><br />The other information I have, is that I have just bought a deep fat fryer from Amazon and I'm so excited. It's all James Martin from Saturday Kitchen's fault. He keeps making battered fish and SCRAPS. Tonight we're having steak and chips. DONE IN THE FRYER no less. So excited! Am I boring now? Yes.<br /><br />I went round to my mate's house for her birthday the other day, it was just a "pop in" affair. So myself and Warren "popped in" only to discover we were in a <em>creche situation</em>. There were babies EVERYWHERE. No offence ladies but it's not my thing. I do like kids (my niece and nephew) but not when there are about 7 or 8 of them in one small room. It's too over whelming, I couldn't concentrate on my large glass of Sauvignon Blanc. I've decided that when I have a sprog I'm going to bear that in mind for my non-babied up friends. :-)<br /><br />Anyway - might try to write again this week.<br /><br />HOpe you're well!Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-16535950417590109902011-05-27T06:35:00.000-07:002011-05-27T07:21:35.731-07:00If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven?YEAH! The honeymoon is booked and confirmed. We're going to AUSTRALIA! My favourite place in the whole wide world. We're both so excited, in fact where as before I felt a bit non-plussed about the wedding I'm now PROPERLY into it. Time has flown so quickly I know it's gonna be here before I know it. <br /><br />The other day my good pal Princess Kitty was organising my Hen do, and there was an email flying around saying "Leanne's Hen Do". LEANNE's <em>HEN</em> DO? What, me? Scary, I'm having an a<em>ctual</em> Hen do. I honestly didn't think I would get to this stage and it all feels a bit like a dream. Not a dream come true, just a dream. Etta James's "At Last" goes through my mind often though 'cause I got me a good man and I'm not taking any of this for granted. Believe me. <br /><br />Anyway now onto life in general. I got my teeth whitened on Wednesday at the dentist. They used this big old laser and a funny teeth exposure shield thing. I looked most unattractive. It was well uncomfortable and in the process it seems to have burnt off a bit of my gums - Haha! Oh well, they look a ton better which is the main thing. <br /><br />I watched that AWFUL Chelsea programme the other day. The reality soap thing. I know I'm not on my own here when I say, what a pile of steaming shit that was! They've all got really awful names. One of the women on it is called Cagoule or something. Another one is called something like "Blinky". Fucking hell. What's that all about. It's not even car crash TV, don't bother to watch it if you haven't already. <br /><br />TOWIE it is not. I <em>love</em> that programme. My boyfriend is always saying "Oh God, not The Only Way is Essex, turn it over" but he doesn't "get" it. He doesn't understand it's just a bit of light entertainment. He thinks everything on TV should MEAN something. Like Deadliest Catch. He's always watching that and I think it's <strong>EFFING</strong> boring. Once you've seen one, you've seen em all. Who cares that they are catching massive crabs? Who cares that the sea is really cold? Who cares that they have to be awake for like 34 hours? SNORE.<br />And finally if you haven't seen it already, you have to watch Geordie Shore on MTV. It's so bad, it's good. <br /><br />I'm going out for a meal tonight with my mates to discuss Hen plans and other stuff. I plan to eat a mixed grill - I love meat! Then Sunday we have people over for dinner. I can't drink any red wine though which is annoying, 'case it seeps into all the microscopic holes in my teethy pegs. <br /><br />And it's back to the gym for me on MOnday. I caught sight of the back end of me in a Dorothy Perkin's changing room today and it was not a pretty sight. I desperately need a tan, I look all corn beefy. Meh.<br /><br />And that's that! Have a loverly weekend all.Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-39071996800193785182011-05-24T01:31:00.000-07:002011-05-24T02:26:12.219-07:00And we don't speak, so we're left in constant silence...and it's haunting meGood morning! Here are some things that are making me glad at the moment. Firstly, The Apprentice is back. For my avid readers you will know that this equals HAPPINESS for me. So far I have been overjoyed with this quote "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon." HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant!<br />I'm preferring the objective they are striving for in this series as well. Alan Sugar gives them 250 grand towards a business. At least then he's not stuck with a wanker employee. Good plan Lord Alan Sugar.<br /><br />Another factor making me glad currently is the weather, aren't we lucky! It's been great of late and always makes me feel jolly. Does mean however I will have to start to expose my pale lily legs and also s<em>have</em> but its a small sacrifice to make to ensure that passers by aren't scarred by the sight of my legs.<br /><br />The leg shaving thing came to my attention at Boot Camp a couple of weeks back. I had a strain and my instructor was stretching my leg and he gripped round my leg and it was all stubbly and furry. He must have been able to feel it. I have been shaving since that incident and onwards. I don't see the point when they're not exposed. Well not regularly anyway!<br /><br />I have actually left Boot Camp now. The reason for this was down to the fact that I couldn't attend a session owing to a severe leg infection and they STILL wanted to charge me ten pounds. Which I thought was outrageous. <br /><br />I was very ill! Two weeks previous a mozzy or something had bitten my ankle. As usual a bump appeared, and as usual I gave it a good scratching. However, this bite seemed to continue to itch way longer than usual. And then one night I woke up to such extreme itching I felt I wanted to cut my foot off. The next day my ankle had blown up to twice its size with a large RED rash thing that seemed to be spreading up my leg and was boiling hot and throbbing. <br /><br />I went to the emergency doctor and they said it was infected and if it got any bigger I would have to go to A&E to get put on an intravenous drip! Luckily I caught it in time and antibiotics were sufficient taken orally. And the smelly old Boot Camp wanted to charge me for my absence. How greedy. So I have sacked them off. That'll teach you <strong>BOOT CAMP</strong>. Now I will go back to being all slovenly and flabby. How do you like that?!! What? Oh.<br /><br />So yes I realise that I therefore have to keep up some kind of personal fitness plan as I am far too proud to return to Boot Camp now (Damn you PRIDE!) after sending them a very strong worded email stating how unfair I thought the whole thing was. <br /><br />Luckily I have continued the diet part of my quest for gorgeousness. I have now lost (since the beginning of the year) one stone. YAY. Only two to go. God, it's gonna take ages. And my mates are saying I should have had a dress fitting by now as it takes 10 months to get a dress sorted for a wedding. That is BULLSHIT if you ask me. Why does it take that many months to get a dress? RIDICK!!! And no, I am not going to a Bridal shop to try on WHITE dresses at this size. No way jose'. <br /><br />In other parts of my quest to get gorgeous, I'm having my teeth whitened tomorrow. I'm told I shall be in excruciating pain but I think it's worth it if I can smile with confidence and people don't think they're having a conversation with Baldrick when talking to me.<br /><br />Anyway - will write proper soon. Hope you're all well.Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-10010996375249451742011-04-24T03:04:00.000-07:002011-04-24T03:43:13.375-07:00I guess there's just no way of knowing....Happy Easter one and all. I hope you all got lots of eggs blah blah blah. I don't like chocolate much so not really gonna write much about it. Except, don't you think flake chocolate tastes a bit like its gone off?<br /><br />So do you remember every film you've watched at the cinema? I don't mean do you remember all of the titles of the films. I mean that if you were watching it on TV you'd remember you'd seen it at the cinema. You don't need to remember the full plot, but that you had seen it at some point before.<br />Well, I was flicking through an old diary the other day from 1996 and I read this:<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"10th June 1996<br />Last night we went to the cinema and on the way we ran over a cat and it was horrible. ---- found it funny though which really pissed me off. He goes, I spose if it had been a dog I would have been a bit upset, and I go, well I'm a cat lover and I think you should have some consideration for me! He then shut up. when we got to the cinema we watched "Now and Then" which was quite a good film although ---- was the only boy in the whole cinema, ha ha." </span><br /><br />So I was like, what is this "Now and Then" film? I have NO recollection of ever having seen it. Then yesterday I was flicking through the Sky movie channels and it was on TCM. So I watched it from the start and I couldn't remember ANY of it. Not one bit rang a bell. And it was appalling. It starred, Christina Ricci, Demi Moore (pre surgery), Rosie O Donnell and Melanie Grffiths (post surgery, obviously). And I can't get over how NONE of it rang any bells. None at all.<br /><br />Oh well. Did you like my excerpt from my diary? The cat bit was awful. I remember that well, I cried my eyes out. There had been a family cycling along on the path by the road and a cat was trotting along near them. Then the young son knocked the cat on his bike and it spooked the cat so it shot into the road and under our car. It ran off over the fence but I didn't hold out much hope for it. Very sad and still makes me feel bloody awful. Thankfully that's the only time that has ever happened.<br /> <br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"8th June 96<br />It's ----'s birthday tomorrow, I got him a CD, underwear and a top. If he doesn't like it then tough shit because it took me ages to decide exactly what to buy and in River Island I kept going into a cold sweat when buying the underwear and then this bloke came over and started to ask me if I had a phone number his mate could have. I told him I was going out with someone and he goes, that's what they all say."</span><br />Ah thems were the days when I used to get asked out randomly in the street! <br /><br />Anyway onto other stuff. I still attend Boot Camp every Saturday morning and this week's was particularly difficult owing to the heat. It has emerged that I have no upper body strength so I need to start doing press ups in my free time. Like some kind of MAN. When we got onto the stomach exercises I found this extra painful and ended up just flapping about like a beached whale. Suddenly I glanced up and there was WARREN come to pick me up watching me with a smirk on his face. I was so embarrassed. But luckily my face was already bright red so blushes were spared. <br /><br />I've got the whole week off this week YAY! I can't wait. I'm going to sort out our bedroom. It's a right mess and I'm sick of telling visitors that we're in the middle of decorating, when really it's just a massive shit hole. I'm also going to spend the week surveying the my building's post boxes. Of late it's been noted that there is THIEF who regularly comes to my block's boxes and has a rifle through and steals our MAIL! I couldn't believe it. Then one of my neighbours hear the letter boxes a'clattering and had a look out of his window at 1am in the morning only to see a BURGLAR going through all our boxes. He seemed to have a key to each one. So my neighbour took photos of this and in one snap, the burglar is IN MY POST BOX! What a fucking cheek! I feel violated. So I'm on a stake out this week. We are campaigning to get the post boxes moved into the building. What an EFFING chore that's turning out to be as well. BORING ALERT!!<br /><br />Hmmm not much else to report cept I put on 4lbs in fat last week. I'm not taking this wedding dress thing very seriously am I. Oh well.<br /><br />Til next time.Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-72308450884243012942011-04-11T06:37:00.000-07:002011-04-11T07:30:15.913-07:00Something in his heart told him to come clean. He was not who he claimed to be.Bootcamp Saturday morning was a killer. Friday evening I wisely decided to drink several glasses of white wine in preparation for this gruelling training. By the time 8:30pm came around I was on the merry side so I thought I should go home and not drink anymore. So I headed for the train station but cleverly called Warren to arrange to meet up for another large wine at our local bar. Then I was eating curry and then it was the next day. Stupid wine.<br /><br />Hell I forced myself to go to bootcamp training <em>anyway</em>. When I arrived, there was only one other girl there but pretty soon another three ladies joined us. The trainers were super fit but also very nice so that was a good thing. They set up three circuit things and we had to do them continuously until they blew their whistles signalling us to change to the next circuit thing. We had to do a million squats too - felt like my thighs and arse were on fire. After the first task I looked around at the group to see if I was wheezing the loudest and thank god I wasn't. One of the girl's there had gone all white and was lying on the floor in the recovery position. She was nearly sick and everything. <br /><br />I was all pleased with myself up until the stomach exercises where upon I too became thoroughly nauseous. I swallowed it though and carried on. By the time the whole thing was over even the whites of my eyes were red. Not a good look. Warren picked me up and had the cheek to say I looked healthy. I got back to the flat and arranged myself into the recovery position on the sofa for one hour and sipped lemonade. <br /><br />Then I was all better and it was off to B&Q for some items - I stayed in the car park and got a quarter pounder from the burger van. That night we ate a massive chinese takeaway. Sigh.<br /><br />So it's with regret that I inform you that I have gained 3lbs in one week. I am SO annoyed with myself. I just dunno what's wrong with me, I just can't stop shoving food in my gob. I mean for example, when I watch Super size V Super skinny I actually salivate over the super sizer's food. It looks lush. Not the quantity necessarily but the FOOD. <br /><br />Anyway - so I've given myself a good talking to and have gone back to Weight Watchers. I need discipline and can't be trusted to eat large quantities of food as I don't seem to register when I'm full up. <br />I have also signed up for four more sessions of Boot Camp, I deserve the pain. And believe me I'm in pain. Even the back fat hurts.<br /><br />Anyway - just a short one today will write proper in the next couple of days.Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-21032256131053883772011-04-04T06:15:00.000-07:002011-04-04T06:16:58.961-07:00I got that poison, that poison on my mind.....ON examining yet more photo's tagged of me on Facebook, I've come to the conclusion that my face is actually rather big. It's quite round. Like the moon. I think the only way I'll have cheek bones is by losing a couple of stone. But now I've started Amanda Hamilton's 28 day detox so I hope this will happen soon and a face shape will emerge from my round bonce. <br /><br />Today on the eating plan, I've actually eaten seeds like a little birdy. I quite liked them. And raisins I've eaten. Like a little er...birdy also. And! And, shock horror. I've just been to the gym on my lunch break. I did the stepper which makes me sweat like a full on pig. I walked up the equivalent of 53 floors. (Canary Wharf is 50 floors so I was proper wheezing.) It's all worth it though. <br /><br />Tonight I'm gonna get my boy to take a "before" picture of me to compare and contrast at the end of the 28 day period where upon I will go back onto Weight watchers. I plan to show the before and after pictures to Amanda Hamilton herself so that she might become my new best friend and thus send me to her health spa in Thailand. You have to be in it to win it. <br /><br />Oh boo I had major insomnia last night. I went to bed at 10pm (making sure to record TOWIE on Sky Plus)and then proceeded to toss and turn for four hours eventually dropping off at 2am. Had to be up at 6am for an early meeting and I'm so not feeling too alive today. But at least I AM alive..... <br /><br />BECAUSE............. I HAVE STOPPED SMOKING! I AM A NON-SMOKER!! That's right. Allen Carr's easy way method of which I attended a 6 hour seminar about on Saturday, has finally put me straight. I would recommend this whole heartily to any smokers wishing to cease (smoking). Saturday evening me and the boy and another couple we know when to some bars in Brick Lane and all three of them are smokers. They wanted to sit outside so they could smoke and I didn't even care and I was all drunk. Not sure what happened but I am cured and no longer will that poison enter my body. I honestly have no idea why I didn't attend this seminar before. Seriously I recommend it.<br /><br /> So, this week sees me being nice to my poor suffering body and a cookery course on Thursday evening. It's to learn how to make decent Paella. I can't wait. And then Saturday I have this Boot Camp army training thing over at Greenwich park. I'm dreading it, these army blokes are well hard and don't tolerate unfit wheezing women. S'gotta be done though. Only 11 weeks until our holiday and I am NOT bobbing about on a lilo in the sea only to become BEACHED like the whale I have been in past years. <br /><br />We shall see. I hope you're all brilliantLeanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-59862380069592760192011-03-29T03:12:00.000-07:002011-03-29T03:14:47.354-07:00For what it's worth, I like you.So I watched The Social Network on Sunday evening and I have to say I was highly disappointed. The actor playing Mark Zuckerberg spoke too fast and monotone like in Dawsons Creek. It was too much. Maybe that's how Mark Z really speaks. All fast and annoying. (Like Dawson's Creek). Anyway s'up to you if you wanna watch it but it's a bit boring. <br /><br />I'd be well up for watching some Dawson's Creek box set action though. I wonder if I can lay my hands on it. I don't spose it will be as interesting as in the good old days. "I don't wanna wait... for our liiiives to be ooover...." <br /><br />Speaking of Boxsets, I'm attempting to watch The Wire again. Basically the mistake I made was to watch The Wire STRAIGHT after The Soprano's. And of course one has to adapt you see. I was living "Tony's Law". And then moving on to the Wire where the lead in it has a really bad American accent (after later googling him it turns out he is English, as suspected) it wasn't going to work for me. But after a nice long break I'm finally getting into it and accepting new characters and new stupid accents. <br /><br />I went to The Vitality Day on Saturday at Earls Court (2). It was ace. At first I just bought stuff like a new ring and some fake bake and I didn't feel very motivated. BUT THEN I was sauntering along and I heard a lady speaking on a loud microphone so I went over to investigate. And it turned out this was to be the most important lecture I would hear of the day (and possibly my LIFE!) <br /><br />Amanda Hamilton was the loud talker and apparently she's off the telly. Anyway she was talking about caring for your innards and why you might have issues with headaches and stuff. And why you might be "good" all day and then at night time its WINE O CLOCK. "All me" I exclaimed inwardly. And then I signed up for the 28 day detox which begins for me on SUNDAY. <br /><br />The reason it doesn't start until Sunday is because Saturday I have enrolled on an Allen Carr Stop Smoking seminar. If this doesn't work, then nothing will. I'm so bored of smoking now though and feel like a mug so I think my mind is in the right place at least. <br /><br />After The Vitality Day on Saturday my friends and I decided to take refuge from the attacking of banks and Topshop by going to the pub. I had four pints in total (I deserved them) but then I was all drunk and on the tube back into central London I left my fakebake by my seat on the train only discovering this error as the tube doors were shutting. Luckily there were some nice sisters on board who posted it back through the moving train window. Love it when I get a taste of sisterhood. High five girlfriends. <br /><br />When I got home me and the boy drank some more wine and then it was the next day. Ahhhh happy days. Anyway, better get on. Hope you're well.Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-29992101799165762092011-03-25T08:27:00.000-07:002011-03-25T09:07:17.466-07:00We will meet you where the lights are....<span style="font-family:verdana;">Got a poxy cold haven't I. Have I? <em>Have</em> I! Yes, I have.<br />Why is there no cure for a cold? It's a <strong>common</strong> cold FFS, surely someone should have worked out a remedy by now. ANNOYING.<br /><br />Anyway this week has been fairly productive. I judged the Funniest Student Comedy Central Competition on Monday at the Comedy Store on Leicester Square. I was to be a judge on a panel of three. Myself, Jack Whitehall of Channel 4 fame and this man called Rick from Off The Kerb management. It was to work like X factor so after each act had done their 5 mins we would all comment. It was a bit weird though because Pat Monaghan was late (he was MCing) so Jack Whitehall had to MC at the top. All I've ever seen Jack do are panel shows and to be honest he comes across as rather irritating and slightly up-startish. BUT, in real life and on stage he's really very funny. Maybe that means that Jimmy Carr's nice in real life. I doubt it.<br /><br />It was a good competition with very high standards but there could only be one winner. Er obviously. And that was that. I don't really like the Comedy Store as a general rule, it reminds me of the days of the dreaded GONG show where audiences are invited to heckle, jeer and boo off stage, scared little rabbit new comics trying to beat the 5 minute gong. The atmosphere at those things makes me shudder to this day.<br /><br />Then last night I went to watch the Comedy Rush at the Shaftsbury Theatre where there were 60 comedians in 60 minutes, obviously each doing a minute. AND the Chuckle Brothers were there! And lovely Isy Suttie (Dobby) from Peep Show and many more. . Acts that stood out for me were Ricky Grover, Isy Suttie, The Chuckle Brothers, Charlie Baker, Adam Bloom, Rob Deering, Miss Behave, James Redmond (FIN FROM HOLLYOAKS), Frank Sanazai and Rob Rouse to name a few. I would so recommend this if you get a chance to go and see it.<br /><br />I've started buying the Big Issue. I am now in a trap where I feel obliged to buy it from every seller I see. It's like doing the same lottery numbers each week, I feel awful if I forget to do it one week. And that's how I feel when I walk past a Big Issue seller. The other day I thought I'll just give that old man (he looked like Santa) a tenner and then I can sleep easy. But then I went past another old smiley man also with the Big Issue and I had no money left. I couldn't even look him in the eye. Oh well. Why don't you all buy The Big Issue! It's actually quite a good read. There's a spread in it which contain letters and poems from the homeless but that bits depressing so I just skip it and I recommend you do too.<br /><br />People I want to punch in their stupid faces at the moment are as follows: Ronnie from Eastenders (obviously just the character, I'm NOT mental). She's a fucking <em>knob</em> and this nicking of the child storyline is pathetic. Give the baby back you HOE. And stop being all weird and all that.<br />And that's my list so far. The other day I wanted to punch this girl who is one of the most shameless specimens of the female gender I have ever come across. But I've sobered up now so alls well that ends well.<br /><br />And finally, I'm going to the Vitality day tomorrow in Olympia which I know after two hours I will be like "I wanna go home now" but am also gonna try and sneak into the Ideal Home Show at Earls Court to get a vegetable peeler. Oh me. How exciting.<br /><br />I hope you're all well, even those few who dislike me. No I don't. I only hope all those that like me are well. All the others who don't can go and eat their own shit.<br /><br />Much love!</span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-14788237889122907682011-02-11T05:26:00.000-08:002011-02-11T06:02:57.740-08:00And what am I sposed to say, when I'm all choked up and you're ok?<span style="font-family:verdana;">Again a nice long break between blogs and my excuse for this is down to work! I am so busy at the moment, barely getting a chance to take a lunch break (prob not a bad thing) let alone tap out a world class blog post!</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">But now I have some time, so here goes...</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">WELL! Xmas was OK, as was New Year. I went on a health kick for about 18 days (like last year) but fell off the wagon with a bang when I went to my friend's 40th and drank Jagerbombs. They're so nice aren't they! All going down into my tummy so yummily and making me not feel drunk, but brilliant and interesting until I discover myself doing a wee wee in a car park and then I KNOW the Jagerbombs have done their work but in a kind and friendly way! Ah Jagerbombs, you're so LOVELY.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So yes off with a bang I fell but have kept the drinking to a weekend event (mostly) and have relished in the no hangover thing. You should try it, it's a strange feeling to feel <em>well</em> MOST days. The other thing I've stuck to is a the gym (bob). I actually LIKE it a bit now and although I get a beetroot face which strangely remains white around my mouth (that can't be right can it) I think I'm making progress. I've lost another half a stone now so since this time last year I have lost 1 stone 2lbs. I only have 2 stone to go and I will look all perfect and lollipop headed just like that lady off Eastenders. Max's girlfriend. Her head is massive.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Don't worry I'm not getting obsessed but I do feel a lot more on track and it's quite nice not to have flab billowing out of my size 16 jeans. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">The Biggest Loser on ITV1 is helping quite a bit but not as much as The Biggest Loser USA on Living is! OMG they're massive and if THEY can do loads of exercise and not die of a heart attack then so can I. That's what goes through my head whenever I go to the gym and I'm getting puffed out. Look at that man that's 23stone he can do this and not die, so you can Leanne! So can you.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">In other news I actually did projectile vomiting this week. I thought this only existed on Little Britain and the Witches of Eastwick (have another cherry). But no, I got it Wednesday night and it was a Catherine wheel of mucas. GROSS. I think it was a prawn... Either way it helped with the WW weigh in this week no doubt! So every cloud... Poor Warren didn't like it though, covered his tooth brush and flannel. HAHAHA. He really must love me eh.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I went to a wedding show last week at the Excel Centre. It was very tacky. It was like the one in Gavin and Stacey. I had to wear a sticker saying BRIDE. I didn't like it so I took it off but people still kept coming up and giving me leaflets. The worst selling pitch was for this Spit Roast machine thing. I just couldn't bring myself to be rude to the salesman so listened and ummed and ahhhhed for about 7 minutes. Very annoying as I shan't get that back. Lots of Bridezillas roaming around whereas I'm more of a BrideZuki. I'm going to another one next friday, the National Wedding show at Olympia. I'm not sure why I booked to go to this now. Oh well. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I watched a programme the other night (the night of projectile vomitus) on Sky Anytime called "Bridal Plasty" or something. And the object of the show was 10 brides to be competing to win all the cosmetic surgery they could physically have and also to win a massive expensive wedding. It was pretty disgusting to be honest, at one point they had to do a jigsaw puzzle which once completed the prize for the game was a <em>syringe</em> which admitted them entry into a "needle Party" which enabled them to INJECT THEIR FACES with botox.. And they were so <em>so</em> happy.... I'm all for some basic assessment of one's body parts and if needed, a nip or tuck here or there should be allowed. But these guys were obsessed freaks. Not good.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Anyway - just a short one today with not much info but I plan to write weekly from now on.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I hope you are all well.</span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-71960630732808671312010-12-21T06:40:00.000-08:002010-12-21T07:29:30.486-08:00And why should the world take notice, of one more love that's failed. A love that can never be....<span style="font-family:verdana;">Well this weather's a little bit dominating isn't it. Up to Saturday it hadn't really gotten the better of me but Well! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">WTF</span>! Suddenly me and my beau were TRAPPED, YES TRAPPED in the car, surrounded by large flakes of snow and crazy drivers <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">desperate</span> to get home. I'm ashamed to say that a tear drop slipped from my eye when I realised the 10 minute drive would take around 2 hours. I nearly had to don my boy's work boots and get walking. Anyway we got home in the end going via Iceland to pick up an express Xmas dinner in case we find ourselves stranded on his holy-est of days.<br /><br />This has probably been one of the only December's in a long long time where I haven't been that naughty. Well, I <em>did</em> fall asleep on the train after our work Xmas party but <em><strong>I say</strong></em> that was from being over-tired <em>not </em>because I'd been drinking white wine. Haven't done that for ages (sleeping on the train I mean, not white wine consumption). It was all confusing and then there was this man with a big red face (the DRIVER apparently) explaining I wasn't at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Lewisham</span> (my stop of choice) but HAYES no less and the end of the line.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">DOH</span>. My boy was none too pleased but agreed to come and pick me up. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Haha</span> it was only 11:30pm. What a party animal I am.<br /><br />In other news I am concerned at how quickly time is going. I became an engaged lady 6 months ago and now 6 months have passed and I still weigh the same (minus 7lbs). But 7lbs isn't that good really in 6 months is it... I dread the thought of putting on a wedding dress and I especially don't want the usual sleeveless boob tube thing with flowing skirt. I want sleeves but that will make me look all frumpy. SIGH. Can't I just buy a nice dress from Monsoon and be done with it? But it won't be in keeping with the wedding (a very <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">glamorous</span> affair) and I must fit into my own wedding. I have a real problem with White as well. I own NOTHING in white '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">cept</span> a T-shirt nightie which is more on the yellowy side now. Ah well. This is probably boring for you to read, same as people talking about their kids. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">BORINGO</span>!! I shall stop now.<br /><br />Well the last month has been <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">ok</span>, although I had some very sad news discovering my Uncle Nick died. He was a lovely man, really and truly he was, and I wish he hadn't gone.<br /><br />Onto other topics. Right now at work they're playing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Scrooged</span> and I am trying hard not to watch it as we all know I only watch this on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">xmas</span> eve, after the Snowman. Last year when we went out to a bar they had it on the screens in there, see? I'm slightly annoyed that they're showing me this WELL before the designated viewing period.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><p></span></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXVO1JoAIKtHO4UMIriUYj1p8XxAm81jfuHtpthZoVx2zV2QF_QJMWFUlIbu4jaE1i5MRvjzqeRw62NM3rVL5E0-0AKX4XyWBFwvGZ5TPn5NEeA6jZkUTnaf9IOTp7t1BnHvXxOgdACIN1/s1600/scrooged.bmp"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553154726523596594" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXVO1JoAIKtHO4UMIriUYj1p8XxAm81jfuHtpthZoVx2zV2QF_QJMWFUlIbu4jaE1i5MRvjzqeRw62NM3rVL5E0-0AKX4XyWBFwvGZ5TPn5NEeA6jZkUTnaf9IOTp7t1BnHvXxOgdACIN1/s400/scrooged.bmp" border="0" /></span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Other than that, not much to report. Oh yeah, I'm giving up smoking on the 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">nd</span> January. Blah blah blah.... Etc. And doing not eating all that food and drinking all that drink...and yeah. To be fair, I'm pretty happy. I dread writing something like that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">incase</span> something goes wrong but....it's how I feel right now and I am pleased to say that I am very lucky indeed. Got myself a good job, a good man and a nice rabbit. (and I don't mean any of that in a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Facebook</span> smug way, just feels good <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">s'all</span>).<br />Wishing you ALL a very Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year no matter what! I hope you are all brilliant.<br />Until next time.<br /><br /></span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-51944696500914552982010-11-18T09:26:00.000-08:002010-11-18T10:04:45.998-08:00I closed my eyes and closed myself and closed my world and never opened up to anything that could get me at all...So once more Christmas is right around the corner with just 5 weeks left to go. SIGH. No, I'm looking forward to it very much. Even though I can't put my Xmas Tree up owing to my rabbit eating it. He eats everything. And he shits everywhere. And recently he's been spraying piss on me if he gets annoyed. In fact, I live in a litter tray. I'm hoping that when he gets his balls lopped off all will be right with the world, but somehow I think he's just a naughty ware-rabbit sent to cause me grief. I can't be angry with him for long though because he's such a Catface with his snuffly fuzzy nosey and his velveteen rabbit ears.<br /><br />Oh yes the last time I wrote I was about to go to a Supper Club in Islington. It was really good fun although slightly cringey. We arrived there late so I felt unbonded with the others. I also couldn't be bothered to talk to randoms but quickly realised that this was the thing to do so I chatted to a nice girl called.....I can't remember....but anyway she was nice. Then we all went out to this shed in the garden and proceeded to trough through copious lovely food.<br /><br />There was only one semi-dickhead there. He was quite posh and about 27 years old but felt he knew more than me. Mistake. No not really, he just had an opinion on everything and kept spouting a lot of bilge. All like this: "HAW HAW HAW! FNAR FNAR FNAR!" Luckily for him I had been very good with my wine consumption so he didn't receive a Leanne special. Like when he said he hadn't come across ANY crime in London nor had his posho friends - he then when onto to say that crime was only between gangs and drug users. Yes, that's right Knob for brains, that's the facts indeed. Another one from the home counties who gets cabs everywhere.<br /><br />He reminded me of that dick off the Apprentice from last night's episode. What was his name? I can't remember but he had a face like a pig was about 20 and was team leader. <em>I'm</em> <em>an entrepreneur, I make decisions in my head, that's why I'm good at business.</em> Oh shut up dick wad, why don't you eat your own shit? That would have been my idea in the brain storming session. "Yes, I have an idea pig face, why don't you eat your own shit." Then I would draw a picture on the flip chart of his pig face eating his <em>own</em> shit.<br /><br />As you can see I am still a huge fan of the HD blue eyed candidates on The Apprentice but my love will always remain with Lord Sugar.<br /><br />In other news <em>Prince William liked her so he went and put a ring on it.</em> (Kate) And now she'll be a Princess and everything! They've only a few months to plan - not long at all. The guys at my work are doing a whip round for them, they deserve it. And Kate's got the Diana -engagement ring which I quite like, but lets hope she won't have to recycle that bloody awful dress. (Let alone the ruffs.)<br /><br />So Facebook! How am I coping not being a part of that magical world I hear you ask...? Very well thank you. I must admit in the first couple of days I was itching to know what *Jo was having for her tea and also that "*Annette has had e (FUCKING) nuff!" and also my absolute favourite - the obligatory "whats up hun?" comment below the above update... But I have coped. And it's been lovely and refreshing and although I was only going to come off for a month, a month has passed and I just don't want back in. Maybe next year. We'll see.<br />I do miss some people though. But luckily I have their mobile numbers so don't be alarmed.<br />*Some names have been changed in order to not make people I know look like dicks.<br /><br />And that's that. I think. Yes, anyway, all that I care to divulge on here.<br /><br />I hope you are really well.<br />Until next time...Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-84992664932204554272010-10-15T05:10:00.000-07:002010-10-15T06:24:20.258-07:00Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? But that's alright because I like the way it hurts.<span style="font-family:verdana;">UGH! I got me a hangover.... Meh. Stupid beer.<br /><br />SO! How are you all? Good I hope.<br /><br />Tell me you've been watching "The Only Way is Essex"on ITV2! Fucking hell - it's so bad it's good. The girls on it all do that thing where they go up at the end of their sentences so everything sounds like a question. EG: "Oh my god? Mark'll love that vagazzle?"<br />For those of you who don't know what a vagazzle is, its where you put sparkly diamantes on your pubic bone. It looks great..... What. The. Fuck.<br />Why would you do that? Whats the point. Check out my sparkly MUFF. Jesus. Anyway I would recommend anyone watch it - it makes me CRINGE.<br /><br />Thank God The Apprentice is back although in my opinion it's been scheduled at the wrong time of year. Normally it's on when it's going to be the Summer..... Oh well at least it's back and it's bloody great.<br /><br />In other news - I'm going to come off Facebook next week (after Catface Comedy on Wednesday) I've decided. I expect it will feel like I did when I went to Australia and didn't take my mobile phone with me.<br />Free.<br /><br />Why, I hear you ask? Well, I went for a drink with my mate Matt on Tuesday and he's recently done the same thing and he explained how invigorated it's made him feel and I want in. Plus when I look at it, although FB has lots of good points, its also got many bad points which most of us I'm sure are all well aware of. In the past it's actually got me paranoid....... like this one strange time, a girl on there decided she didn't like me (for NO reason) and kept sending me evil comments via her status updates. Now I look back on it, it truly<em> does</em> sound ridiculous.<br />And of course I couldn't prove this and I would have looked a bit mad if I'd asked her about it..... But the comments were aimed at me....she knew it and I knew it. In the end I had to delete her. How mad is it that you can just delete someone out of your life with just a click of a mouse? But when I put it like that, it's quite cool actually.<br /><br />But anyway - back to the point, my boyfriend isn't on FB and he's been saying to me for ages how silly it is and all that jazz and I've just been like blah blah blah you don't understand but he's right. If there's an event - my friends can invite me via the TELEPHONE or on EMAIL or, OR, here's an idea....... </span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>face to face.<br /></em><br />SO! Tonight I'm going on an adventure, I'm going to a Supper Club in London. What happens is, you go round this random person's house (you have to book and everything) and other people will be there too and you all eat dinner with these strangers cooked by this random couple you've never met before. I'm actually quite nervous but me and Warren are going with Jack and Louise who<em> have</em> been before and said it's a right laugh. Alot of the kind of people that do this Supper Club thing are very middle class. I'm going to go in singing "Knees up Muvver Brown" and "Any Old Iron" to break the ice.<br /><br />How strange going into someones house that you don't even know and eating their food. God I'm actually feeling a bit scared about this now. One of my mates said the concept reminds him of Swinging. Haha. How funny would that be, if we got there and all these naked randoms were sat there looking at us expectantly. Hmmmm... Maybe not funny actually and YES it's <em>definitely</em> a Supper Club.<br /><br />In other news my boy bought me a rabbit for my birthday called Colin who is very very sweet indeed but does alot of nibbling. Little tinker. He is grey and dwarfy. AHHHHHH.<br /><br />God this hangover keeps hitting me in waves, bloody blimey. I've joined Weight Watchers AGAIN and this time the incentive is of course my wedding dress. Now that the venue, the photographer, the registrar and insurance is booked I am going on a massive weight loss plan so that I can get into a size 10-12 wedding dress for the big day. It's the biggest incentive I've ever had and it's a very happy thought indeed.<br /><br />And finally, don't forget it's Catface Comedy on wednesday this week (20th) at the Betsey Trotwood in farringdon. GET INVOLVED.<br /><br />Anyway - I hope this blog finds you all really well. Until next time....</span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-5094218823161981992010-09-23T04:17:00.000-07:002010-09-23T05:48:03.557-07:00Why do you feel you have to hold on? What if you just let go?<span style="font-family:verdana;">GOOD DAY! It's my birthday today and I'm 32. Now I'm like properly getting on a bit and I feel that everything is as it should be. Huzzah.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">SO! The other weekend I went to BUTLINS, Bognor Regis.... It was a "90's Reloaded" weekend and Chesney Hawkes and S Club 3 were there. I thought it was going to be mainly screaming ladies there but the ratio of men to women was about 60 40.... And there was SO many stag do's I couldn't go five minutes without seeing a willy, hairy arse or a big fat gut. It was AWFUL. (ha!)</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">A proper meat market - the men were savages! :-) And it didn't help that my team of ladies are all easy on the eye so we were targeted by the raging testosterone fuelled stags. To be fair we were the best of a bad bunch. The other women there (apart from some sexy Baywatch ladies) were bloody awful looking - faces like they belonged as guests on Jeremy Kyle. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">There was one particular guy who came up to us on the first afternoon of the weekend. The girls and I had gone to a pub in Butlins and as we walked in it was pure carnage. There was a man standing around casually drinking a pint with his pants and trousers round his ankles. There were ginger bread men, Mario brothers, men dressed up as women (original!) and so much more.... When we moved outside the guy ambled over to us absolutely off his head. He couldn't stop the muscles in his face spasming. He was a complete delight as you can imagine - did make me laugh though. His tongue was actually green. Haha his parting comment to us was to tell Karen she reminded him of a Romanian Tramp (where did he get that from?) Me a porn star and Louisa a Boa Constrictor snake. HAHAHAHAHA From that moment on I knew the weekend would be great fun.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">And it was, but it wasn't without it's nostalgic moments as well. In the olden days I frequented Butlins, even managing to get in the Brochure as a 13 year old. (Them's were the days.) I also had my first proper holiday romance there. Craig Holt his name was and I cried for days when we left. (It was unrequited love but still....) Makes me laugh how snobby people can be about Butlins... in its hay day it was really good fun. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Nowadays its not as good - mainly because I don't like the fact that I'm older than all the Red Coats. </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">Also it looks so different now, they've erected this whopping great tent in the middle of everything which to me is pointless - it smells all tenty in there. And also this huge hotel which is just so very random. They've still got an indoor pool though with other aqua flumes. I went on lots of these :-). There was one flume where you have to sit in this 2 man rubber dingy thing. Unfortunately the cut off weight for two dingy passengers was 21 stone so this meant I was going SOLO. haaa! I looked great in my thread-bare Matalan swimming costume with no bust support. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">It was definitely an adults only weekend, confirmed to me when in the wave machine pool, seeing a girl floating past on a gigantic inflatable knob. Great days.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">S-Club 3 were basic. Bradley kept trying to be all down with the drunk people. Shouting things like "Yeah! YEAH! How many of you out there are PISSED?!" Er...everyone Bradley, or we wouldn't be here, would we. Oh and little Chesney took a tumble on stage - Bless him. Louisa was cracking me up she was quite drunk (we all were) and she was exclaiming seriously what SHE would say to Chesney and his manager "Look, I know the One and Only's your bread and butter Chesney, but you need to think up some new songs".... Haha and a drunken stag tried to rush the stage and got bundled to the ground by the bouncers. It was all happening in Butlins I tell ya!</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I've started my new job at Comedy Central and it seems to be going quite well, everyone's really nice and down to earth. YAY! Very pleased indeed. </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">Catface Comedy is back on the 20th October at the Betsey Trotwood so DO come along if you can. And that's that. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I'm off to get a KFC fully loaded. (this will include Fillet tower burger, chips, chicken and gravy) I'm a little bit hungover. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I hope you're all really really well. :-) Till next time.</span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-20691411012844463572010-08-13T08:12:00.000-07:002010-08-13T08:48:49.489-07:00So jump in the river and learn to swim...<span style="font-family:verdana;">Life's pretty cool at the moment. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">The wedding venue has been confirmed. I KNOW. I must admit that when the lady was showing around myself, the boy and Ma and Pa, I started to feel a bit anxious. Especially when “Vikki” kept saying “the Bride will walk down the red carpet”and “bride enters this way.” And she kept gesturing to me. ME. I’m going to be a BRIDE. Bloody 'ell Barbara, I’m too young. No I’m not – I’m too old. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">We got the contract through the other day and it said “Information about the Diggins and Snow wedding.” (thats his surname – Snow, or as I like to say Snow Puppy, he loves it). Any hoo its happening, its booked and now we have to save like mad. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I bought a bride magazine the other day and it was WELL BORING. It was just like Marie Claire - the WORST magazine in the world. It offered me hardly any guidance and in general made me cringe. Also really weird ideas for decorations for the tables. Spray a pear white. OK. Yeah cos that's gonna happen. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Now anyone who knows me, knows full well that I don’t care about all that decoration stuff (cos I can't do it). In fact an exert from one of my emails to my chief bridesmaid had on the list mainly “unsures” and on the fourth point down:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">· ......Invitations –<br />· Reception Decorations – Not sure<br />· Table decorations – Not sure<br />· Little bits and bobs like bubbles and all that crap<br /><br />So you see – it’s really not my area and I didn’t even realise I’d written that until she replied “Haha I like this… “Little bits and bobs like bubbles and all that crap” Anyway – I’m still excited, just not about decorations. And all that FAVOURS stuff. Why are they called favours? Here’s a favour. It’s sweets. Eh?<br /><br />Right what else? The other day I saw a poster for the new Karate Kid film starring Will Smith’s son Jaden Smith. And I’m not being funny but he looks about 8 yrs old and has spindly baby arms. How can anyone take him seriously? At least that one from the 80’s had muscles, it’s just his balls hadn’t dropped. He was about 28 wasn’t he? The actor who plays the “kid” what was his name? Can't be arsed to even google it. I used to WELL fancy him. And of course it was Elizabeth Shue who was his love interest. Where’s Ms Shue now then eh? Ha that’ll teach you to take too many leading 80’s ladies roles. Greedy.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">We got to the end of the Soprano's box set the other day. I'd seen a few of the episodes when it was on telly but we decided to marathon it from start to finish. It took about 3 months with an episode a night usually. Oh my god. The final episode! ITS A-MAZING. You must watch it. (And then google what the ending means - all the symbols and signs.) Very clever indeed.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Now we've started on the Wire box set. We've watched one so far but I miss Tony Soprano and Paulie. I'll get into it soon enough. What's better The Wire? or The Sopranos?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I suppose I can say now.....I've had some good news. I've got a new permanent job working at Comedy Central as of the end of this month. WOOOOOOH!!! I'll miss the department I'm in at MTV of course - everyone's very cool but this is a great opportunity so I'm grabbing it with both hands. Happy days. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Anyway I hope you're all very well indeed.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Till next time. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2014580632311684286.post-86948473634932760302010-07-26T01:11:00.000-07:002010-07-26T02:18:27.741-07:00Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late at night - you are your own worst enemy, you'll never win the fight....<span style="font-family:verdana;">Good morning! It's a Monday morning and I don't feel blue. I think it's because I've embarked on a new regime which involves NO SMOKING and Slimming World. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I gave Slimming World a go a few years ago but where the leader was all fat and deluded I didn't end up sticking to it. (its ALL her fault) </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Also this whole either eat PROTEIN (red day) or all CARBS (Green day) thing didn't really work for me. BUT since then (1998) they've changed it and you can eat loads more stuff. SO we shall see. Also I've REJOINED the gym. I know you think this is all I talk about - but honestly my life is just a constant battle which I spose is a bit sad really. But my happy thought is being slim (and winning the lottery) and also being able to run for the bus without wheezing. I'm going to Spin class on Wednesday morning. I'm so nervous - whenever I've walked past Spin the women are all whooping and being all American. It's intimidating and cringey. On a positive note I have shed a stone since Christmas. I think that deserves a round of applause.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">In other news I found out some more Bindi Irwin info. Apparently she's in the new Free Willy movie. It was her birthday this weekend and all kids got into Australia Zoo for free. I've studied her online and it's hard to believe that she's only 11. I'm not sure what I think of her - when I came back from Oz I found the hype surrounding her completely cringey but now I feel a little bit sorry for her - she seems sweet on this clip - but not aged 11, I think more like 37.</span><br /><a href="http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/20/bindi-irwin-crocodile-hunter-video/"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/20/bindi-irwin-crocodile-hunter-video/</span></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">What do you reck?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">On Sunday I was very pleased to see that Louise Rednapp (the most wooden, uncharismatic and unfunny presenter in the entire world) is no longer presenting on Something for the Weekend (BBC2 10am every Sunday). Gone are the days when I would shout at the TV during every link she'd carry out "Here's an idea Louise, have a POINT when you say something?" and "Where are you going with this?" as she'd waffle on about absolutely nothing etc. So that was nice. However I did notice that the male presenter on Something for the Weekend has fingers on his left hand that bend in very strange directions. Reminded me of the time I discovered JB's hand (Jeremy Beadle) and couldn't stop looking at it from then onwards...</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">What else? Hmmm oh yeah - I actually LIKE a Katie Melua song. Its called the Flood. I would recommend you have a listen. Also, I finally found out the name of a song I've been chasing for months. I only knew the tune and as the lyrics are all in french I was at a loss at ever finding the name of the track. But after rasping it semi-tunefully to several work colleagues eventually one came through for me.</span><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PDmZnG8KsM"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PDmZnG8KsM</span></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">And finally, Catface Comedy is BACK and on the 8th September at the Betsey Trotwood. You better come.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Till next time.....</span>Leanne Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07189840946515807096noreply@blogger.com0